Nursery part 2

So tonight Matt came home and called his friend David to come and carry the dressers upstairs. It was so exciting to open the box and get all the peices out!! The room looks half complete now. It will be complete in June of 2009!!! Today I went online and looked at baby bedding and found 17 different types of bedding that I loved. I found three others at pottery barn kids that I loved. I hope it will be easier when we find out January 16th whether it is a boy or girl (My intuition def. thinks it is a girl....people that see me think it is a girl because of how little weight I have gained and how I am more flat then round...) we shall see!! If it is a girl it will be easier to find bedding because Matt said I could pick anything I wanted. With a boy he gets 51 pecent say in what the bedding looks like. We made a bet! I am more of a colors patterns person and he is more of a theme person. There are some beddings that I really like that have a theme but I don't like anything to busy. I just hope we can agree. After we pick something out hopefully Aunt Katie and Uncle Chris will come up to help paint. We will def. be changing it if it is a girl. If it is a boy it will all depend on the bedding. I would like to paint over the blue since there are some spots that need touch up and we don't have anymore paint. :) Enjoy the pictures below!!

baby beans crib

We had a great Christmas!! My dad and step mom bought me a pregnancy massage which I can't wait to use!! If you look hard in the picture attached you can see baby bean making an appearance.

When we got home BabiesRUs called and said the furniture was in. We went and picked it up but since I can't lift really heavy things, we just brought the crib up since we can pull it out piece by piece. It looks so pretty in the room. I keep walking by the room and smiling!! The rest of the furniture is in the garage till we get one of Matt's friends to come help carry it up stairs. The room was already blue, it may stay or it may change we will find out January 16th!!

Shopping for baby bean!

So if anybody knows me, they know I love to shop!! Well this past weekend we made another trip to BabiesRUs to look at cribs. We haven't found one yet that we loved and both agreed on. So we went looking hoping for a sale since everybody and their mother were having sales this weekend.

We got there and sure enough they were. We walked around and found two sets that we loved. They were both different from each other and we loved them both for different reasons. One of them had alot of furniture and we felt it would be to much in the room the baby will be in.

The best part was they were having a sale that if you bought all the peices you got 20 percent off and then if we opened up a credit card we got another 10 percent. That made our day!! We saved about 500 dollars which made Matt VERY happy. He felt great about buying the crib this weekend since we save so much. Also we came home set up a budget and we set it up so we can pay each month and have it paid off by the time the baby gets here which makes our day!! I am working in ALP this year so that is what that money is going towards!! I told Matt that it will totally make it worth it for me to work in the afternoons if I know I a buying baby beans crib and furniture with it!!

We are saving everything else for family to buy!! :) We knew this would be our one purchase that we would have to make and the rest the grandparents can buy!!

Kick baby kick...

So today while having the best day ever with the best husband ever, I was sitting in the movies watching 7 Pounds. I having been sitting for the last few days hoping to feel bean move. I can feel my uterus on the outside but wanted to feel him her so bad. Today in the movie I swear it was bean kicking. I felt it twice in the same spot. It didn't feel like anything I had felt before. I know people say you may think gas is the baby but this didn't feel like gas. It is hard to explain what it felt like. I promise I think it was the baby. Then at dinner I felt it again right in the same spot. I am so excited because if it was this is what I have been waiting for!! We shall wait and see what happens. I will keep you updated on if it was baby bean!!!

Hair did!!

Today was a nice day of pampering!! I went finally and had someone professional do my hair!! For six years now I have been coloring my own hair and hoped things would turn out ok! Many time it did and others it did not. Now that I am going to be a momma I felt I should pamper myself. Today I went and got a wet on wet coloring job!! It looks so pretty. My haircut is still one that I wish would grow out and we are trying to get all the hair to be the same length!! I am so happy with the color.

Also today I walked past the mirror and had to walk back and look at the little buldge that is forming. I got giddy as I stood in front of the mirror!! I really can't wait for someone who doesn't know I am pregnant to ask me when I am due! I really can't wait!!

Well Christmas time is right around the corner. This year we have so much to thank our dear lord for! I really couldn't be happier. (well having my husband here monday through friday would be the best) We have everything and we are staying in Raleigh which makes me so happy!! I love everything about this place!! Pray Matt gets a job here soon!!! He applied for one and I hope he gets it!!!

12 and 13 weeks

Ok so I have been slack. I started to feel better and the whole world changed. I am started to eat better and I am not so tired. I think I am becoming a normal person again. We went to the doctor Friday and the heartbeat was 150. She said things sound great. The little bean is sitting on my right side and I think it is causing some pain in my right buttock. I guess this all comes with pregnancy. I also had to change my contacts because my eye balls have changed shape. It is really odd what happens to your body.

Well things on the moving front have officially ended. Friday marked the bittersweet year. We are not moving and Matt is really looking for a job here. He applied for one at Chapel Hill so keep your fingers crossed. I know he is really excited about it but his hopes have been let down alot. The job right now that he has is really stressing him out and he is getting sick with the all the crap. I feel so bad for him.

School is getting better. I am def. finding that me starting to feel better helps the kiddos feel better. We have five days till Christmas break and I can't wait!! I am going to sleep sleep sleep.

Other then that things are pretty boring around here...which I don't mind for once. People said things would change when you have a baby...I can already tell that Matt and I are starting to enjoy each other and spend time together because we know it wont last long that we are alone. I love this man more then anything and I don't know what I would do without him.

Put on your calenday January 16th.....that is when we find out if bean is Addison Marie or Tillman Cohen!!!!

11 Weeks

Well we have made it past the ten week mark!! WOO HOOO....even though I still don't feel pregnant. I am still having the funny food things but other then that I am ok. This weekend was hard because I didn't feel well. Started early Saturday morning. I was hungry but nothing seemed good. I slept all day. I woke up around 5 and was so sick. Couldn't make it go away. Fell back asleep and didn't wake up till 7. Ate a few chunks of ham and then went to bed for the night. I woke up this morning feeling sick again. I think my body is ready for a break. :) I can't wait to go home and see our family and celebrate my birthday! This year feels so different then the years past.

As far as pregnancy I am doing well. We ordered a fetal monitor for my birthday so I can hear the heartbeat. I wanted it until I can feel it move and so we are waiting for it to come in the mail. This is my birthday present so I am really excited. This weekend we are going home and I am hoping to get a little shopping done for clothes that I will be wearing soon! I can't wait to go home and see some old friends and go out to dinner with them. :) This is going to be the best Thanksgiving EVER!!

9 weeks

Well Monday marked nine weeks!! It is very exciting to think we are moving along. I am feeling better. Food still can be funny but most of all I feel great. Still really tired but that is ok. I can get over that.

It is so exciting to see how excited Matt is. I love having him call me and ask how the baby is. It really makes me smile. I love being pregnant!

Well in a few weeks I will turn 24. I am really excited because we will be home with the family and that is always great. I can't wait to eat more turkey and spend time with everyone. I think this is one of the first years I can remember that I don't want anything for my birthday. It is so true that your priorities change when baby is on its way. I really just want to save money because I wont lie I am scared. I am scared that this will be more then we expected and money is already tight. We are really trying to be frugal and save but that is hard. I just want a healthy baby and my husband which I have.

By the way I need to brag a little on Matt. He is an amazing husband before this pregnancy but it just seems like he is ten million times more. He loves me so much and he takes such good care of me. The man NEVER complains and always is asking if I need anything. He has gone out to get a food item that I can eat and always brings me more water. I love this man to the moon and back and I know I haven't been very nice lately and he hasn't said a word. I love him so dearly. He is always asking about the baby and when we had our scare of Thursday he flew home to be with me. I love him dearly and I hope he knows how much he means to me!!

a little scare....

So this week was the first of many scares in the life of bean. As a soon to be mom I know I will have my lifetime of worries but since I am so new at this I def. had a scared on Thursday.

I was getting ready to teach math and I went to the bathroom and there was a little blood. Now you see I have read EVERYWHERE that this is normal. I told myself that and when I went back to the room I told my TA and she told me to sit and I couldn't get up. I spent math in a chair by the overhead. After math the kids went home and I was getting ready to go home. I walked to Nancy's room to tell her that I was leaving and I melted down. She hugged me and told me to call the doctor. I did and they told me to come in. I was scared and sad because Matt wasn't going to be there. They called my back and wouldn't let Nancy come back which was worse because I didn't want to be alone if something happened. The u/s lady took forever. She moved the thing up, down, left, and right. I knew that she couldn't find anything. Then the last minute she turned the screen and said there is baby and that is the heartbeating. I cried. She turned the screen around and lights on and that was it. I was bummed because I wanted her to tell me more. I wanted to see more of our littl bean. She gave me two pictures and then that was that. I walked out hugged Nancy and things were ok.

I am so blessed that everything is ok. I am so blessed that our Bean has a heartbeat beating strong. I am sad though because I had this vision of our first ultrasound and that wasn't it. We went back Friday for our first real appointment and we were able to hear the heartbeat because of my sweet sweet doctor. :) I am so happy that things are ok and I am taking things easy. I am just not used to having to slow down and really think about someone else but me! :) I am home today laying in bed and taking it easy!!

Pictures to come soon once I figure out how to get them on the computer!!!

History books being written today!

Have you voted? I have. Today is the day inwhich history books will be rewritten. This is the day inwhich we are electing a president who years ago wasn't allowed to drink from the same water fountain or go to the same restroom as others. Today is the day that we as a country come out with one voice and show our love for this country. Today is the day that each American can come out and share their vote with a nation of Americans. Today is the day history was made.

8 weeks

Well this is the start of my eigth week. I am feeling ok. I am so hungry, but food is not making me want to eat. For example last night Matt ordered pizza and I started to eat and felt sick. Couldn't eat anything all night. Then this morning I was in the kitchen while he was getting the pizza out to heat up and when I looked in the box at the cold pizza I couldn't get enough of it COLD. I know it is so weird what our bodies need right now. I am trying to eat healthy but I really like the comfort fatty foods. I am trying to eat when I am hungry and not when I am not. So we shall see. This part sucks because I want good food but then I get it and don't want it.

Well Friday marks the first ultrasound. I am so SCARED. This week is bittersweet because I can't wait to meet this little bug inside me but I am so scared I am going to get there and there will be no heartbeat. I have been praying alot and that is also a sense of contention because I feel like I only call on him in need. I hate that part about me. I hate that I only rely on him when I am scared or need advice. This is the scariest moment in my life and I keep talking with him. I am worried that he looks at me and say "oh of course you talk to me now..." I know this is stupid and I know that it isn't true but I really feel bad. I want to be able to talk with him when I am not scared and I jsut don't. This friday I know that I am going to feel sick and I am going to cry alot either way. I know that the plan for this little bug inside me is already set out but I hate not knowing. I want this baby so bad. I want it to be healthy and to grow up being so loved that it sometimes doesn't know what to do with it all. I want this baby to know he or she has two parents who love each other and will be together forever. I want this baby to know that his or her mother and father loved them from the moment they found out. This is the part of pregnancy people don't talk about. I am so emotional and in love with this pea sive being. I am doing everything I can to keep it safe and protected. I am worried about what I eat and drink. I am worried about stretching and moving. I am worried about peeing and not peeing. This is the part that people don't tell you about. Friday I am praying will be the first time we meet our little baby! I can feel my body changing and it is amazing how your body knows how to do this!!

Well yesterday I found out that another teacher at my school is pregnant and due in June. There will be three of us going through this year pregnant! I can't wait to see all of us in a few months with our little bellies. :) (or big ones)


Saturday is also another day of excitement. We will be telling our family (or my family) that we are pregnant. We are going to Hickory to eat Thanksgiving dinner. I am so excited because we all haven't been together since our weddin which was four years ago. I can't wait to tell everyone!! I know they are all going to be sooo excited!! I will show you all their reactions when we get back!

This week is going to be a breeze because we have two teacher workdays, and then we have a performance on Friday. I can't wait till Friday!!

I haven't posted my about this election because I think that everyone is entitled to their own thoughts. I voted and I can't wait till Tuesday. The presidental election isn't the election I am worried about. I am worried about this state and the person we elect for Govenor. I voted for Bev and I am hoping that she wins. Pat McCrorey is running against her and if he wins being a teacher will get harder. He doesn't value teachers the way all the other govenors have. I hope she wins because if not I might have a career change.

First Doctors Appt. and morning sickness

Well Friday we went to our first appointment! It was exciting. We talked with a cordinator that talked about all the appointments to come and all the great things to look forward to. We were able to ask questions and then they took lots of blood. It was so exciting and real at the same time. Matt was so sweet at the appointment. He is going to be the best dad ever! The best part of the visit was we made our first ultrasound appointment for the 7th of November!!

Well this week marks the end of my 6th week and begining of the 7th which brought on some sickness. I shouldn't say it was morning sickness because I felt like crap all day. I didn't want to eat anything but I was starving. I really wanted all the things that smelled good and then the moment it hit my mouth I was so sick!! I hated that. Last night I was able to eat a little which was nice but today (sunday) I really haven't wanted anything but I know I needed to eat. This stinks because I have to go to work tomorrow and I am such a baby when it comes to being sick. I hate this being sick part, but I am not complaining because it lets me know everything is going on track like it should. I just hope I fell well enough this week to teach. I feel bad for my team because I know I am not being the happy go luck gal that I am. I know that they would prefer me to not be sick!! We shall see!!

6 Weeks

Well this week is my 6th and I feel great. I have had a few days where this pregnancy has kicked my butt but other then that I feel great!!The symptoms are still the same which I am glad about because I want to still feel pregnant but Monday I didn't feel anything and I was worried all day!! We go to the doctor in two days and I am so excited!! I can't wait to hear what they have to say. This visit will def. make it seem more real. Well today we also got wonderful news!! A team member just told us she is pregnant and she is due two days after me!! We are so excited!! I do have a morbib thought though...if something were to happen with baby whisenant...I think it will be REALLY hard to watch her be pregnant while I am not. Since this wasn't planned I don't know if we would want to try again. I just pray things are ticking away inside and the little bug is growing. It is so hard to not know.

Well I joined this website Babycenter.com and I am addicted. I have been on that thing for hours. I love hearing other ladies talk about their pregnancies. It is sad though because some woman have lost their babies and I just hope things are going ok inside my little oven. I know there isn't anything I can do to know but I just pray that things are going ok!! I have had no spotting like some women and as the weeks tick away the odds go down!! I can't wait to hit 12 weeks!!

Well this weekend we are going to a party and working the polls. I can't wait for this election is over because I want to know who wins!! Matt and I are trying to get Barack, Bev, Kay all voted so my job is stable and moving forward!! Today I had to work the phone bank and I felt like I was going to vomit. I hate hate hate calling people and this was horrible. I was blessed though because I spoke to only one person and she was really really nice!! I can't wait to see what happens on the fourth!!! PLEASE GO VOTE!!!

Feeling pretty good...

So this week ends my fifth week. So far I am feeling pretty good. Really really tired and my boobs still hurt but other then that I feel ok. Friday was long and I really wanted to go home and sleep. I left school early and came home and went to bed. Matt came home around nine and brought me KFC!! It hit the spot!! I was so excited!!

So far I think we are stil in shock. We go to the doctor Friday and I can't be more excited. I was upset because this visit isn't with a doctor. It is with a consultant and we wont have an ultra sound. I really wanted to hear the heartbeat so I know things are going ok. At this visit they will do blood work which will ease my mind a little I think. I can't wait for the day we hear the heart beat. They say we will have to wait for ten to twelve weeks before we can go again. I know that time will go by slowly. Please pray that everything is ok.

Well school is going well. I am really tired but it is going well.

5 Weeks

So this week is my fifth. To many this seems really early to be shareing, but for the people that know me well....it couldn't be any other way. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I can't hide anything. This is the happiest thing that has ever happened to me there is no way I could keep it in. Matt and I are so excited and can't belive that it happend! We are still stunned and can't belive how much we love this little peanut inside me.

I am very anxiouse though. I can not hide that either. This feeling of not know what is happening inside me scares me. I go to the doctor on the 24th and it isn't with a doctor but a cordinator. They will tell me all the things I can and can't do. ( I have read all that I can). I wanted them to do an ultra sound so I can stop worring but they wont. I have to wait another three to five weeks before they do one. I think that is CRAZY they wait so long.

Everyone says that there isn't I can do so I should stop worring but how do you do that. I can't....I want to know everything so I can get my mindset right.

Please pray for us and for this baby. I know there is a plan for this child already but I want my anxiouse mind to be put at ease.

I am going to be a......

for halloween!!

What are you doing in June?

I hope nothing!! ;)

Don't Vote!!!

Two Days Off....sort of

Well today and tomorrow I am at a workshop which means I am not at school. I am excited because this workshop is great but I am scared because I hate having to be out of school. The sub is ok and I hope my kids are to!!

I am so hungry....I have been all day!!! I can't stop stuffing my face!! Please make it stop.....

Nights in Rodanthe

Ok so Matt and I just got back from this movie and I am a ball of emotions. I can't stop thinking about this movie or crying. While watching this movie all I could think about was losing Matt. How morbid I know. I just kept thinking about life without him. Thinking about what I would do. Matt and I don't see each other Tuesday and Wednesday of the week. He is in VA and I am here. I am sad and I miss him so much when he isn't here. While watching this movie I started to think about all the wives out there that have lost thier husband, or their husband is serving our country and they stationed somewhere over seas, or a husband that leaves the entire week. I can't imagine living their life. This movie def. hit a chord in which made me think about how I take our life for granted. I complain, bitch, cry, blame and do everything else I shouldn't. I do it because I think our life stinks with this whole move....but it could be worse. I could be alone forever. Matt could be gone forever. We live an amazing life. We have an amazing family, house, life, friends, jobs and everything else. We are lucky. I say I know this but do I really. Do I really know how lucky we are? People always say you don't know what you have till you lose it. I don't want to lose something to be greatful for it. Can you be greatful for your life if you don't lose someone or something important? I need to do a better job of letting person who obviously gave me this life know I am greatful for what we have. I need to show him that I don't take it all for granted....but I don't want to lie. I want to truely be greatful. How do you show that? How to show him that you are greatful for you husband, friends, family, life? I guess the answer is in prayer, devotion and constant reminders that we don't do this, he does! Those words are easy to type but I don't do them daily or even weekly. This is a part of my life that I need to work on. I say it alot and I do work on it. Slowly but surely. I think about my life and how I prject myself on others. I don't ever want people to think that I am fake or ungreatful. I want the people closest to me to know that they are amazing people and I am so greatful for their friendship and love. I want my family to know that without them this life would not be possible. I want my amazing husband to know that I love him from a place where there is no end. We live our life to hecticly and we are sometimes in passing, but I love you so dearly. You are my everything in this world and this world would be nothing without you. You make this world doable. I am so greatful for your friendship, love, compassion, support and most of all for the man you have become and the man you are!

Ok....so all this came from a movie....you should def. go see it!

Still Working Out!!!

So it has been 11 weeks of working out. I am so excited. I am trying really hard to keep this weight off. I am at 138 right now and I want to keep going. It is really hard though because I love love food. I am adicted to the gym though. I am really seeing the difference in my arms and abs. So lets keep it up.

I hate LM!!

Ok so you know our situation around here. Life is crazy. We are in the middle of things right now. Trying to get this house sold and move to VA. Well my hubby is traveling between here and VA. Monday through Thursday. Well today he called me to say that he had to stay. I was so upset because I really miss him. I miss seeing him, kissing him, hugging him, talking with him, smelling him, laugh with him, being with him. I miss him more then I think until he says he isn't coming home and then I really really miss him. This is hard on us but I know it is what our family needs. This is hard because we don't get to be together like a married couple. You so take for granted the moments you have with your spouse. I know I did. Weekends are so different then during the week. I miss him so much.


Well the sickness seems to have passed. I feel better. This mornign I woke up feeling like crap. I really didn't want to go to the gym but I did. I felt better after working out. Let's see if it stays away.

feeling like poo

So this week I haven't felt well at all. It hits right after school is over and I feel very sea sick. I hate being sick. I really am a baby and and since Matt isn't here I am more of a baby. Lately this sickness has hit at the end of the day and I am so tired I don't want to do anything. I really can't wait for our family trip in November. I am ready for something to be excited about.

School is going great! I have a student intern coming into my classroom on Tuesdays which makes me really excited. Having another person in the room always helps. She seems really sweet and eager to learn. I love teaching and helping so I am really excited about this.

Friday a movie comes out that I am really excited about. Nights in Rodenth is going to be such a great movie. Matt said we get to go this weekend and I am really really excited. I will let you know how that goes.

Well I am off to bed since I feel like poo again. Hope this passes.

So excited...I can't hide it!!

Ok so I just got a phone call from my aunt! This is a phone call that made my day!! She was calling to let me know that on November 8th the entire family will be getting together for a Thanksgiving Dinner!! I am so darn excited I can't contain myself. Now as many of you know my family is like many others. We are lets say a little disfunctional. We don't see each other alot and there tends to be alot of drama. We haven't all been together except for when Matt and I got married. We try to get together but it all falls apart!! We should try harder but I am so excited!!

She told me that my uncle Les and Uncle Brian and Aunt Lisa from Chicago are coming in as well!! That made it even more exciting!! I can't wait to see them all and I can't wait to catch up on all the cool things that are happening. This is what my famliy needs!! My brother might even come!! I love this season and this holiday! I love being close with my family and it makes me sad that we can't be closer.

So pray that everyone will be able to come and pray that we have a wonderful time and everyone is on their best behavior!!!

Count Down till November 8th: 48 days!!!

Fall!!!

So this weekend marks the weekend that fall rolls in!! I love this weather. I want to create a place where this weather stays forever!! I love being able to wear pants with a shirt and still feel cool. I love the way it smells when going outside. I love the gitty feeling you get when your walking outside.

I hate the cold and flue that comes with this weather. I am fighting it right now and I know it was my fault. I told a friend that I never get sick.....sure enough here it came!! FULL FORCE!!

Well things are still the same. Except we found out Friday that as of December 10th if the house doesn't sell then the company can't move us. Well they can but then it would become taxable income and that is 20,000 dollars that would be added to our income to be taxed which means that we would have to pay in an ass load of money...so needless to say I am upset. This is the reason I wanted to move...they were going to move us!!! Perfessional movers!! Oh please dear lord help us....evertime we turn around it is somethign else that gets taken away!!

I really and frusterated with life right now. I am in love with my kids this year but I am so stressed and frusterated with this move and the future I really can't enjoy what is going on. I want a hint or something to know what will happen to us in a few months. I don't know what to do.....Matt and I are fine but it is hard and gets harder each month!! This whole thing SUCKS!!! I don't know what will happen and if the house doesn't sell then we are back where we started. I just want him to get another job and stay here! Why is that so darn hard....why can't he get another job here? It makes me sick to my stomach to think about the next few months. I hate this feeling. Why can't we just move already or stay already. They took away his gas mileage, they took away his fridays, they took away the moving. What else can we take? I hate this so much......

Nothing else is going on. I am so ready for Christmas time because we get to go see the family. I remember being 16 and I would always wish for another year to pass by because I wanted to see what was next and what was going to happen. When I got married I was so excited and content with us in the now I hadn't had one of those thoughts till now. I wish now it would be a year from now so we can see what happens. I really hate wishing time away, but I am not sure what is harder....sitting her wondering or missing a year. I really wish I was more of a prayer warrior because I know that is why I am not at peace. My friend Stephanie was my biggest prayer warrior in colleg. She was always praying and I felt it. She was there for me and could always talk to her and tell her things that I couldn't tell other people. I haven't seen her in years and I miss her dearly. It is odd to look back only a few years and see where you are and who is with you. I really do miss her dearly.

Well I am off to take some medicine and go to bed. I have been in bed all day and I am planning on staying here till tomorrow!!

life is the same....

So this weekend was so much fun! We spent a birthday weekend with our sister and brother in law and their new puppy Scout. Stella loves her little puppy cousin!! We spent time hanging out and going out to eat!

Well things are the same on the home front. We are still in limbo land. We have no idea what is going to happen. We want to move on with this thing but it all sits on this house. Please pray this house will sell. We dropped the price this weekend and maybe just maybe it will sell.

School is great! This year has started off amazing! I love having these children and I love my team. This year is going to be great! We have alot of work to do, but my kiddos are great!! We will have a great year!!

Well life is good and we hope that the next few months will show us the future!

Week one down....Many more to go!!

So sorry I haven't poseted sooner but this week has been crazy!! I am sooooo excited about my group of kids this year!! They are some cuties let me tell you!! I have twenty right now which is great! That is perfect. I know it wont stay that way but I hope it will!!

This year I am really relaxed and excited. Def. having two years under my belt has helped alot! This year I feel like I can focus on my kids and not worry about teaching because I know how to do that part. I am really excited about this year!! We have a great team and they are all excited.

The first week has been good. I trying to plan more this year and really get organized! This year my principal asked me and another teacher if we wanted practicum students from Peace college. I was so excited when she asked me. This is something I have always wanted to do. Pay it forward in a sense. She will be coming every Tuesday from the end of September to the end of November to learn and help with the kiddos!! I can't wait to meet her! I hope our personalities click. Nancy an Abby have had these students and are now teaching Student Teachers which is exciting!! I can't wait for her to begin.

Well nothing new on the house front. Right now the has is tech. off the market because we have to re sign and then they will put it back on. Matt hasn't been in the office this week so he wasn't able to print the paperwork. Now that I have started the year it seems that things are put on the back burner which I am ok with. I hate not knowing but I am glad that I am not worriing about it anymore.

Well James got his lincense back this week!! He hasn't had it for a few years and I am so proud of him. He has worked hard and was able to get everything worked out. He also has an amazing girlfriend who loves him and stands by him all the way.

I promise to take pictures of my classroom this week!!!

sense of normalcy

So today really put me to ease about this year. I was really nervous and scared about being chair. I lead the meetings and need to have my stuff together to present to the team. I am so scared that I am going to disappoint my team. I want them to be proud of me and I want them to know how much I care about them and want to do well for them. Being chair is going to be hard but I think I will do ok. I have an amazing team! I put way to much pressure on myself though which doesn't help.

Well today was a very productive day! I am really excited about the group of kids coming up and I am excited about this ocming year. I think since I ended the year so rocky I am glad to have stability. I am glad that I am starting this year at Millbrook but it is bittersweet because I know that it will probably be my last. I want so badly to do better this year but I am worried that life will get in the way. We shall see what happens!

Well this past weekend was great! Matt and I hung out like we were in college and just had fun together! Which we needed...we needed to be fun with each other since we have had so much tension. I am excited about the coming weekend because it will be the same as last!!

Pictures of the newly rearranged classrom coming soon!!

Manly Man's Dream

ok so since I have been married to my amazing husband he has been one of those men that like cars. He has always driven a camaro and loved it. He really couldn't live life without driving one. When we got married and were in debt up to our ears he sold it so we could put the payment towards our debt. He was a sad puppy for months. Well now his intrest has changed. Or I should say has increased because it has always been there.

Matt wants a motorcycle.

Our friends just bought one and he now wants one! I don't mind either way. I think it would be hot to see my hubs on a motorcycle. My mother has driven one for many many years so I am used to it. Now I would never get on it but he can have one all he wants. He keeps stewing about it. He wants to get one but right now wouldn't be the best time because he is in VA and he wouldn't be able to drive it as often as he would like. We are hoping around Christmas time he can get one. Now his mother is not very happy. She thinks he will kill himself. Now I know that it isn't the safest mode of transportation but I truely feel that if it happens it happens. I told Matt yesterday that I would see him in heaven and kick his butt for killing himself on a stupid motorcycle. We shall see if it ever happens....

life...

So as you all know we have been in a rollercoaster the past few months. Well I am ready to get off and I can't. This move is wearing hard on us and I hate it. Matt is tired and stressed and I can't do anything to fix it. I can't help him or give him words of wisdom. I want to comfort him and I can't. If this what it sorta feels like as a parent watching your children fall I can't imagine. I want him to stop hurting and I can't do anything to stop it. My heart hurts. I want him to feel better and I want to do whatever I can to stop his pain. This job for him sucks. They are treating him like crap and I just want to throw rocks at him. I want them to see the passion Matt has for his work and I want them to respect. They don't have any loyalty to him but he has tons of it for them. I hate this company. Now I know this sounds like a bitch session and we should be greatful for his job since he has one and be greatful for the fact that they want to help us move....bUT is it worth it? I am so mad right now I just want to kick their ass. I just want to scream!!! Please pray for Matt and for his comfort in this job. Please pray that his heart will find some ease and that his brain will sort through all that is going on. Please pray for our marriage...it is not easy being away from our spouse for a long period of time. Please pray that we can be each others strength and help each other through this time.

School starts tomorrow....this year will be a rollarcoaster! I am excited, scared, nervouse, anxiouse, inspired...as well as many other feelings.

no change....

So things here in our world haven't changed much. Matt's birthday is today!! This week sucks because he wont be home till late Saturday night. My mom is coming up though which is exciting!! I am really excited because I haven't seen her in awhile!!

Well school starts in two weeks!! I can't wait!! I am really really really excited about this school year. It has been a rollar coaster which is what makes this year great!! I can't wait to get started and make this year so much better then last!!!

Well other then that nothing new has happened...we went visit family and friends and it was great!! We spent some time with great friends and it was a blast. We found out that my friends principal is my old principal from elementary school!! It is such a small world!!!

off to eat some no bake cookies and pizza...comfort food!!

What I have been up to...

So wednesday started off great! I was so excited to leave for DC.I left school early, went to the bank and then I was off. Nancy dropped me off at the airport and then I went to my gate. The flight was delayed. Then cancelled!! I was stressed. It was five in the afternoon. They sold my ticket to US and then I went to their gate. We were tagged for screening which means they search our bags. I got to my gate. Flight delayed. We weren't supposed to leave till eight. I went and got dinner. Then the flight was delayed till nine. We went and got a drink. Flight was cancelled. I was done. Seven hours at the airport and I wanted to go home. I called DC and let them know about the flights and they said ok. I went home sad. I really really really wanted to go! I was so mad at this stupid airport I wanted to scream. I went home to bed and asleep by one.

I went to work the next day and I was so mad. I really hated that I missed this stupid meeting. I guess things happen for a reason.

Well this weekend was good. We relaxed alot. Friday I went to school and put my room together. Pictures to come!! I moved tons of stuff around which always makes me happy. It made me so excited about this school year. My friend Nancy did the same with her room which makes me excited! I emailed the new person on our team and he seems really excited about this year. If I stay I am grade chair which is exciting. Also Paula said she might let me have a student intern from Peace College!! This year is going to be amazing!!!

Matt and I have been talking alot about our future lately and we are excited about the new adventures to come!! I can't wait to see what happens when this house sells. The house is the big orange cone in the road. When the DOT comes and takes the cone away we are going to have so many doors opened!! Even though leaving Millbrook is inevitable I know that it only means more amazing things in the future! It is exciting to think that we have so many options available to us when this house sells. I am just hoping that a special buyer comes in the next few months and they love the house!! I am waiting for it and praying for it!!

Well I am finding that sewing is a hobby that is soothing and fun. I just sewed to pillowcases for these huge pillows at school. They match my chairs that I found for two dollars each. The patter is highschool musical but the colors math perfectly. I thought I would have enough for three but I didn't.I am going to the store tomorrow to buy a little more to make the third one. I am so excited!!! I am trying to figure out how to cover a "husband pillow". It is a pillow that has arms on it. I found one the other day for four dollars and I wanted to cover it so it would last longer. I think I could do it but I have to be creative!! Pictures to come!

Well being grade chair this year is making me excited and nervous as well. I am excited because I think it will make me a better teacher. I am scared because I have big shoes to fill. Abby has been amazing and I want to do as well. I am scared I will fail and screw up miserably. I want to make my team proud. I can't wait to see what this year will bring.

So this haircut that I wasn't so sure about has started to make me excited! I am starting to like it but I think it is more the color then the haircut. I colored my hair and then highlighted it. I actually am very proud of myself. I hope that I can keep it up and it stays cute!

What a weekend!!

So this weekend we went and saw the Black Knight which was alot of fun! We went to the late showing which was different for us since we always go to the early movies.

Saturday I went to Abby's wedding which was a blast. Millbrook teachers know how to PARTY!! We had so much fun and we were the life of the party!!!
***pictures to come once I get my camera put on this computer!


Sunday I went to the pool, enhanced my tan and then came home to read some of my book. Finished one book and almost finished another. I am really excited about the new one and I can't wait to finish. Then my step mom came up and ate dinner with us. She spent the night since she had a meeting on Monday!

So this weekend was a blast...it is hard though....since matt is gone all week a weekend like this makes it seem like we don't get to see each other that much...can't wait till next weekend for a low key weekend!!!

I leave wed for NEA!! Pray the plane doesn't crash!!

Very exciting!!

Ok so I am very excited about this weekend!! Tomorrow we are off to a friends wedding which I am really excited about!! I haven't been to a wedding that I haven't been in. That is odd but none of my friends have gotten married and the ones that have I was in it. So this weekend two friends and I are off to a wedding and the bride is going to look so amazing!! I am so excited!! The other exciting part is that I went out today and bought a new shirt and some really amazing pair of shoes!! I till DEF take pictures this time and put them up here!!!

So update on the trip and we are off! I leave wed for Washington DC and come home Friday!!I am so excited!! I get to wear my new cute shoes and I get to learn about all the interesting facts about taxation and school funding!! Can't wait to post pictures!

Well hopefully today we will go see the Black Night! I am excited because I love the movies and my HUBBY is getting home!! I miss him so much!!!

Day 7 and still trucking!!!

So I am excited and proud of myself!! Today marked day seven of working out. I am relaly proud because I had lasted this long. I have lost a total of six pounds. I know that is all water weight and I will stop losing so quickly soon but I feel better. I am eating tons less which is good and I feel better!! Can't wait to say thirty days!!!

so EXCITED!!!

Ok so today I received a phone call that made my day!! I was at lunch and the phone range with a blocked number. I let it ring and they left a message so I listned. It was a woman from NCAE which is my teaching organization/union. She wanted to see if I was interested in being part of a gathering of teachers who don't know much about school funding. This gathering would take teachers and show them some information items to see if it helps teachers and the public better understand funding. They would want my opinion on the information. The best part is they would fly me to WASHINGTON and I would go to some government building!! I am so excited!! I really really want this to happen. She emailed the guy with my name and I hope to hear from him. It would be next thursday which sucks because I have summer school but I am going to call in sick and hope they get someone to sub. This is a once in a lifetime opp. I hope and pray this guy calls. It is so amazing how your name gets out there and all of a sudden people remember you when something pops up!! I will update you with all the info if I go!!!

feeling crummy

I hate feeling crummy...even more so when my husband isn't here. I really just feel crummy. It isn't one particular thing I just feel crummy. I came home and went straight to bed. I didn't want to do anything but sleep. Of course Stella wanted to do something else like play. So she sat there and barked at me till I got up and took her for a walk. We walked and I felt like a zombie but we finished and she is asleep right beside me which is what I hope to do in a minute. I really don't know what I did before getting married because all I want to do right now is lay my head on my hubby's shoulder and sleep. Wish he was here :(

weekend hiatus

I was watching Oprah the other day and she had that doctor on the show that she always has. He was listing the top ten things to do to lose weight and keep it off. One of them stated that you shouldn't deny yourself something. Meaning if you love somethng you should not just stop yourself forever but you should eat it in moderation. Well everyone knows I love...

so I decided to not deny myself. I made choc. covered strawberries and I had a few. The other thing he said was dont' eat in front of the tv which I do often. I have tried this week to not eat in front of the TV because you don't know how much you eat. I have done well this week. Also he stated that you shouldn't over do anything. Don't become an adict to anything. I know why he says that because I would become addicted and want to work out all the time and not eat. So this weekend I didn't go to the gym this weekend and I feel like a FATTY!!! I hate this feeling. I wasn't good...I ate way more then I should have...I really tried I did!!

One thing I did this weekend was try and listen to when I had the feeling of hunger and try and figure out if it was true or if it was boredom. I really tried to listen to my innerself. I may not have listened but I sure didn't try :) !!!!

Baby Shower 101

I am following up on the previous post. Last night I attended a great friend of mines baby shower. It was so much fun to see everyone that I hadn't seen since school let out!! I really do love those people. I got there and Mel looked so pretty! Pregnancy does make you glow!! She was feeling some pains so she was trying to mask the fact that she really wanted to lay in the bed. We ate lots of food and had lots of fun. So we played a baby shower game where you had to unscramble the words. Some were very easy and others I was stumped!! I couldn't for the life of me figure out. If you know me you know I am darn competative and I was going to get them!! I solved all words except one word!! While we were watching her open gifts I was shocked with all the things you need for a baby. I know it is alot but I was stunned. I was also stunned that they were getting so many fun gifts!! The first year of this childs life they wont have to buy a thing!! I am so excited for them!! They are the sweetest couple ever!! It was so great to see them so happy last night!! She is oging to have a baby any day now!!

What a day!!

So Friday my friend and I went to Babies R' Us to purchase a baby shower gift. Neither one of us had been in one before so we were in for a little suprise. Normally I go to target to get baby shower gifts but today we wanted to find something nice. We were blown away when we walked in. OMG this place was huge!! It was so overwhelming!! We went to the tower to get the list. We printed it up and we were even more overwhelmed. There were so many thing and we were so stumped on where everything was. We started to walk and still were couldn't find anything. We laughed so hard because we couldn't find one thing. We tried really did but we were two lost puppies!! We kept trying and finally found a baby einstein tape. Then we found a crib bumper and some bottles. We found spoons, bowls and butt paste. Our gift is so odd because it is filled with all types of things!! We laughed so hard when we left. I just need to say that I am so not ready for a baby. That store was so big and there were so many things that I would have never thought about!! Hehe it was alot of fun I can't wait to see what she gets tonight!!!

so so tired....

so this morning was another hard one to get up!! i really wanted to lay there and sleep another hour. the dog had woke up at three to go out so I really wanted to stay in bed. I didn't though...I got up and went to the gym and did cardio for fifty minutes!! I was so tired at the end of it...

Here is what I ate..

ceral with yogurt 240

pb and j sandwhich 300
baked doritoes 90

wrap with chicken and cheese 290
chex mix 200

total= 1120

Day three....I am on a roll!!!

So today I really really really didn't want to wake up. I sat on my bed debating whether to get up or not. I really wanted to sleep. I didn't though I went and changed for the gym!! I was so proud of myself! I worked out hard this morning. It felt good!! I got to school and I felt really good!! I love to workout and feel good about myself. The scale at the gym said I was 146 which is four pounds lighter then I started....now I know that it is all water that I lost but I feel lighter!! :) Only 26 more pounds to go!!

Here is what I ate today

1 special k bar
1 cup of grapes

1 salad with chicken and rasb. ving. dressing
1 bag of baked lays

1 chargrilled chicken sandwhich chick fil a
1 indv. french fries
1 apple

Day two of my workout!!

Ok so I have worked out two days!!! Today I think I worked a little to hard!! I did cardio for fifty minutes and then lifted some arm weights. Here is what I ate today:

1 cup of coffee 60
bowl of yogurt and go lean cereal 210

salad with chicken and rasberry ving. dressing 100
bag of baked dorritos 90
cup of grapes 60

chicken wrap with ff ranch 230
cup and a half of chex mix 180

930 calories


What I ate yesterday:

cup of coffee 60

bowl of yogurt and cereal 210
apple 60

wrap with chicken and ving dressing 200
baked dor. 90
popcicle 60

680 calories

Rants of a homeowner...

Ok so I am going to vent for a moment. So people came Monday to see the house. We were excited!! Now you have to understand that when someone is coming to look at your house you want it to sparkle. You want it to look like no one lives here. You want it to smell good. You want them to think that this is their house. So sunday we spend all day cleaning and making sure that it would be ready for them since I had summer school. The house was already clean because we thougt we had a showing on thursday but they didn't qualify for enough so they didn't come. So sunday we had to put the camping gear away, hand wash dishes, loads of laundry, and make sure everything looked good. Monday rolls around and they come and look through the house. We sit on pins and needles while we wait to hear the verdic.....they loved the house....but......they weren't seriously looking. They were just looking to see what they would like.....ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!! I was so mad because it takes alot to show your house. I just hate that they came and weren't serious about buying a house yet. They were perusing.....look through darn pictures for gosh sakes!!!! Ok sorry I am better but I still wish that they would see how much it takes for someone to get ready for a showing....

Well day two of summer school went well except....they are LOW!!! I mean really really low. It is exahusting to work with 12 students who are soooo low. You just tire out quickly. They need alot and you are constantly staring at kids who have no idea what is going on. I hope that this summer will make a difference for them!!!

Well summer is rolling along...only five more weeks before school starts....that is so odd to think about since in five weeks we could have a huge life change. We would be Virginians or North Carolinians. We will have to wait and see what happens!!!

day one down....15 more to go

So today was day one of summer school. It wasn't that bad. I just didn't want to do anything. Summer time is a time to be lazy. The kids were good but they are so low. That is hard teaching kids that are so low. Some are still working on print concepts. Pray that I can make it the rest of the days.

Well today also started my determination to lose some weight. I know I know you are rolling now with laughter since this is a broken record comment but I hope to be serious this time. Since I have been married I have gained thirty pounds. THIRTY!! That is alot!!! It has been fifty since I started college. Now I know you are supposed to gain weight as you grow but seriously thirty pounds! So I am trying to eat better and lost this weight. I need to feel better about myself!! I went to the gym this morning before summer school which was great. I really do like to workout I just wish I could do it more. I have a membership at Planet Fitness which is great because it is ten dollars a month which is great!!

Lets hope I can keep this up!!!

What a bummer....

So this weekend has been filled with some big bummers....before I get to that, I would like to say thank you to all the men and women that serve our country and give us the freedoms we have!

So this weekend was our camping trip to New River State park. It started out great. We left on time and got there in plenty of time. When we pulled up the parking lott was filled with cars. We got worried because that means that there were tons of campers. Now is where I will tell you that this place never has more then three or four people camping. We were shocked. So we hiked the distance to see if there were any sites...there weren't any. We were stuck. We didn't know what to do. There wasn't anywhere to camp and we just drove three and a half hours. So we decided to find the ranger to ask him what we should do. As we drove back we saw the RV camping area and decided to pop our tent there. It was alot more money to camp there but we had no other choice. So that night passed and the next morning we went to see if a site opened up. It did so we move our stuff which was a hike. The site was the last one and we had to walk forever to get there. Once we set everything up our friends showed up and we helped them set up. After that we went to the river for a swim with the pups and then we played games. Overall that day was great. The night is where things turned. It rained so hard that night our tent was soaked in and out. We were so pissed. Along with the rain some of the other guest were very loud and annoying all night long. I don't think I slept one minute. We got up and it was cloudy and rainy. Not hard but enough where you had to stay under something or you would get wet. So we played games and that got old around one. That is when we decided that the weather wasn't going to get any better so we decided to pack everything up and head home. That was our weekend which sucks because we were looking forward to it so much.

Well today we sat around slept alot and had to go to Kays because a diamond fell out of my wedding band. Which stinks because I have not been good about keeping up the warrenty which means we will have to buy a new diamond. This teaches me a lesson. After they replace it I can reinstate the warrenty and keep it up in case this happens again.

Well this has been a crazy weekend as well because we thought we might have had a buyer for our house. They really liked it but they didn't qualify for enough money to buy our house. So tomorrow we will show it again and hopefully somehting will come of it. Now many of you know that this move has been really hard. I am literally torn in two directions. Raleigh is home and I don't want to leave. Richmond is where my husband is and I desperatly want to be there with him. I can't look for a job until the house sells and we don't know when that is. The house wont sell because we can't drop the price to much. Matt has to work to make enough money for the house. If I start the school year and the house sells I have to leave half way through. If the house sells before school I have to leave and I don't even have a job which is ok because we could live off of what Matt makes. My heart is so sad and I am so scared because I don't know what will happen. From the begining I secretly didn't want the house to sell because I wanted to stay. I wanted something else to come up so I could have my cake and eat it to. Now I just want this house to sell before school starts so I don't have to leave half way through. If it doesn't sell I am scared of what will happen this year. I am stressed because there isn't much time for it to sell and I am scared because Matt and I are both stressed. I am upset because I don't want to leave and I don't have a job in VA. They haven't called me even though I have done everything to get a job. I am just annoyed right now. Matt and I are stressing each other out which stinks. Please pray that the house sells before August first because I don't know what is going to happen. I feel that this is my fault in a way because I secretly didn't want the house to sell. I was selfish and I am scared this will hurt us in the end. I just hope Gods knows that I see that now and that I will now allow him to do his job and that it is all in his hands. I am scared.

Summer school starts tomorrow and I am tired and not sure what I am going to do. Please pray that I have the strength to do this for sixteen days.

We have two fun things planned for the next two weekends. A baby shower and a wedding!! I am so excited because I care about the two women and I am so excited for them!!!

Sorry no pictures from camping..again I forgot that really nice camera that is collecting dust!!! I promise to have some from the shower and wedding!!!

Camping on the 4th of July!!!

I am so excited to say that in two days we are leaving for our 4th of July camping trip!!! We are so excited!!! We love to go camping at New River State Park with our friends Lisa and Ryan. They have been going there since college but just recently invited us. We have been a few times with Stella Bella and have loved it!! I am really excited because it wont be as hot and we get to see our dear friends. That is the hardest part about living far away from everyone. We just can't go and see everyone as if they lived right down the road.


Well I found out today that one of my dearest pregnant friends does not have a hooter hider!! I am so excited because I am going to make her one tomorrow and drop it off on thursday!! I can't wait to give it to her. Now I feel bad though because I want her to be proud to wear it so I want to make sure I do the best job I can do!!

such a sweet husband...

So you may not know but Matt goes to VA Monday through Thursday. He comes back late Thursday night and works from home Friday. Well this weekend he came home and went to the grocery store for me and came back with two of my favorite things! I sooo love that man!!!

first attempt at sewing...

So a friend of mine sewed her very own hooter hider and it looked really easy. You can also find sewing for dummys guide to this hooter hider so I attempted my very first solo sewing project. I wanted to sew something that was meaning full so I thought if I did this well I could make them as gifts to my pregnant friends. Here are the pictures.

What the heck is on TV these days.....

Ok so my dearest hubby and I were watching TV last night and we were watching "Meet My Folks" which is where a person has their parents pick from three contestants who they think is best for their child. After it was over another reality show came on and I was SHOCKED!!!

Paradise Hotel 2


Not sure if you have heard of it or not but I had never. So the gist of the show is a group or men and women are put up in this paradise hotel and they are trying to hook up with people because if they don't then they wont be picked to be someones roomate. So basically you have to sleep with people to ensure that you have a roomate. It was so shocking to see that there were real life people on this show. I couldn't belive that someone would think this was a good idea. Matt and I were blown away. This makes me really scared for my children. I mean we were watching TV around 9 which is sort of late but not really. If this what is going to be on TV I really am worried. Also when I was flipping through the channels and I laded on the Family channel they were playing Where the Heart Is. Now don't get me wrong...I love that movie but not for kids. There are alot of things going on in that movie that I don't think is appropriate for young children. It should not be played on the Family chanel. Now I know that it is the parents job to monitor but I can see where it's a hard thing.

Ok stepping down from my soap box...

Never been tagged...

So I have never been tagged so I decided that I would fill you in on a little about me....

5 Things under 5 dollars that I could not live without

contact solution (cheap brand)
deoderant
toothbrush and paste
chapstick
underwear

5 Favorite Movies

Pretty Woman
The Notebook
Made in Manhatten
Cinderella
Finding Nemo

5 Baby Names that I love (all boys b/c that is what is on my brain and in my belly right now)

Check post below

3 Songs I could listen to over and over

Time After Time
Jack and Diane
Don't Take the Girl


5 people who have influenced me in a positive way

Dad and Mom
Matt
Marti
Nancy
Aunt Elizabeth

5 things that are always in my purse

cell phone
wallet
keys
chapstick
pen

5 moments that have changed my life forever

parents getting divorced
getting a drinking ticket in highschool
graduating college
May 14th 2005-wedding day
November 29th 2005-receiving the phone call about a job offer to an amazing school

5 obsessions I have now

the move to VA
summerschool
plans for the next school year
learning how to sew cool things
photography

5 places I like to go

Ireland
Australia
Italy
Figi
Spain

5 kitchen appliances I couldn't do without

refridgerator
microwave
dishwasher
apple corer
toaster

5 future goals for myself

have children
go on a 2nd honeymoon since the first was a bust
become an officer in NCAE
run a marathon
learn spanish

Bucket List

Ok so last night I rented the movie "The Bucket List." It was a really funny movie but it was one of those movies that makes you think about your life and all the things you have and haven't accomplished. I decided last night I would start a bucket list here and hopefully some day I will have completed them all by the time I "kick the bucket."

(in no particular order)

1. Take my amazing husband to Europe to see the majestic sites it has to offer

2. Give my husband beautiful children

3. Get a tattoo of a ladybug with the dots spelled out E and M (not sure if this will ever happen but we will see)

4. Run in a marathon

5. Read the entire bible cover to cover and really dig into the word

6. Create some kind of program (summer or afterschool) that empowers children

7. Get my masters degree

8. Travel to Africa and take pictures of Gods country

9. Help my dad fufill a life long dream of climbling Mt. Everast

10. Run for some time of political office

maybe more to come later.....

not sure what I think... :(

I love Flowers!!

Me NOW!!!

Here is a picture of me now...can't you see why I want a new haircut....its at a weird length...

NOT WHAT I WANT

HAIRCUT TIME!!!!!

So tomorrow is the most exciting day in many months. I am getting my haircut. I am so excited....I really love getting my haircut. In 2005 I posted a picture of my haircut. You know it makes me feel so pretty to get a haircut that is really different and cute. So I am have been looking at peoples hair and thinking about what I want done. I really want it shorter because I am finding myself putting it in a ponytail. I want that to be a thing of the past. I also wish we had the money so I could get it highlighted but that is also a walmart purchase.

So I am going to post some pictures of the haircuts I like and tomorrow I will post a picture of my hair before and after.

Here are some that I like

bored and random...

Ok so I am bored sitting at home with nothing to do. That doesn't mean there isn't anything to do because I have plenty to clean or organize but that isn't what I want to do. So I thought I would let you in on a little secret.

I LOVE TO SHOP!!

Ok so many of you that know me that isn't a secret. I love new clothes. That is really all I like to shop for. My favorite store of all time is www.nyandcompany.com. This store is the best place to get work clothes that are nice, cheap, and machine washable. That is a must. If I can't wash it I wont buy it.

So being a teacher and having a shopping addiction doens't mesh well. Since I don't get paid over the summer I really hate being a teacher since I can't go shopping. Not making money makes the shopping a little difficult. Matt hates clothes shopping period whether we had money or not. I am not sure why since he was a huge clothes freak when he was in college. So I am going through clothes withdrawl and to help that I serf the net to look at all the beautiful clothes and dream I had them.

Really this is an addiction I need to kick...

never stop learning...

So today I sat through a workshop that the county allows teachers to take and it was exhausting.....not because it was alot of work but because it was boring. I really hate spending and entire day in one of these and you know that it isn't really benificial. This workshop was on problem solving and it came with a great book but the actual workshop wasn't worth the day. They went through some of the lessons and it didn't really help any. I think when you start one of these workshops you have an idea of what it will be about and when it isn't about that particular idea you are not happy. All I know is that I wasted one of my few days off....(now I know you think I have an entire summer but I dont....I start summer school in a week so I don't have an entire summer. :) )

Well Last night I went to a dear friends house to eat crab legs and shrimp and it was a blast. I was so nice to sit down with some ladies and have lady time. It was so nice because we just chatted about not so important stuff which is what I need right now. We had so much fun. It is hard though because three of the ladies are single ladies and I want them to find what I have with Matt. One of them really likes her neighbor and he came and ate with us and you could tell she really wanted him to stay but he left early. She was so sad. I wanted to tell her it would be ok and that he will come around but I don't know that for a fact. I want the best for her but I don't know what to say to make her feel better. I was never really in that dating scene because I met matt right out of highschool. We were met for each other but I never really felt like these ladies. I didn't really search for matt we just feel into each others laps. I just hope they find that person that completes them like Matt completes me. :)

Books I read this summer!!

So I am going to keep a running list as well as a synopsus about each book to let everyone know about some great books out there.

Mercy-Jodi Picoult

This is a great book by Jodi. It is one of her older ones but it is great. It is a story about a man who loves a woman so much that he killed her because she was dying of cancer. He brought her to a town where his cousin is the police cheif. He knows that he will be arrested when he tells him but hopes that his cousin can help. The story unfolds about the murder as well as the struggle that the cousin has. This book makes you think about love and the means in which love can be used.

***** five stars!!

Changing Heart-Jodi Picoult

This is another wonderful book. This is her newest book. It is a story about a prison inamte who murders a little girl and her father and ends up in jail. While in jail he hears about the sister of the girl he killed who needs a heart transplant. He wants to give her his heart but because he will be killed by lethal injection there is no way his heart can be transplanted. While it jail he tries to get the courts to find another way to kill him so he can give her his heart. While in jail he starts to cause some fishy things to happen like turn wine into water and heal a baby bird that died. These things make people like maybe he is the messiah. You will have to read to find out what happens in the end.

***** five stars!!!!

dirty little secret

So this summer is going to be a blast since I am teaching summer school..NOT :) I am excited because it will keep my mind off of things.

So while I was on the internet yesterday I was on facebook.com and I saw an add on the side which was for bluenile.com

It showed a diamond on the side and you know woman and their diamonds so I clicked it. I was sucked in and was hooked for hours. HEHE I went on and you can create any type of jewlery you want. The greatest part is you make a wish list and send it to people so they know exactly what you want. Since everyone around me who buys me gifts are millionares I am excited (j/k but a girl can dream can't she!) So in this hour of messing around I created my dream engagement ring. I know I know some of you are like what you already have one...I do...but see when Matt and I got engage we had two factors that impeaded the engagement ring purchase. Number one was we never talked about it. So he was going off of his judgment and anything I might have looked at in magazines. The second was that we were poor. We didn't have a hole lot of money so the ring was a budgeted ring. So with that said here is the DREAM ring that I would love to see someday. So that is my dirty little secret.

I have a few more that I would like to admit since I am on a roll.

I am a blog stalker....I know I know that is weird but it is true. I read strangers blog....I think it is a woman thing. We love to know all and gossip is fun. I love to read about people and their happenings since my life is pretty mundane. It is something that Matt will never understand. He thinks it is the oddest thing ever.

The last confession for the day is I absolutly hate using the restroom. Up until this past year I would never use the restroom during the day because I hate it so much. It is not a phobia its annoying. I hate having to take the time to do all tha tyou need to do to use the restroom. I really hate the whole thing. It is even worse using public restrooms. I rarely rarely use them. It is part phobia part I just hate. The people I work with think I am weird and it is but I just can't change it. When I was little I would get sent home because I couldn't use the restroom during the day at school. I would get sent hom because I would cry until they called my mom. (this was kindergarten if that helps explain anything)

So now you know some dirty little secrets...maybe there will be more to come later

baby names

so I always run across names I love and don't want to forget and then I forget them

Here is a list I am starting to write down all the baby names I hear so I wont forget any and when the time comes I can use them :)

Girl

Harper Elise
Carson Marie
Karynton
Camden Marie
Cadence
Ava
Madison Leigh
Hayden
Addison
Camryn Leigh


Boy

Tilman Cohen
Connor Jacob
Liam
Landon
Avery
Reese
Tate

more to come......

Summer Vacation is HERE!!!

Well it has been awhile since I have updated and to my knowledge there is only one person that I know reads this stupid thing. I like keeping it up because I love to look back and read all the older blogs.

So we went to Florida for vacation and it was a blast. we had so much fun just laying around with the family and catching up on missed time. We went to Seaworld and Blizzard Beach which was a blast. I had not been to Seaworld so it was a great exp. We love spending time with family but this year def showed that have six people who are all adults can be tiring at times. We add had to agree on dinner and what to do and that was hard. We loved it though and are very greatful for our fmaily and this trip together.

Well as you can tell summer is here and I am loving it. I hate the stigma though. It boils my blood when I talk to people now and they all say "man I wish I was a teacher so I could have the summer off!" or " Man I need a job change, teachers have it great...they get the summer off!!" I know I know that they don't mean it in a malace (hope I spelled that right) way but it errks me because it isn't like I set my calendar and its not like I make a million dollars. You would NOT have teachers that last more then three years if we didn't have the summers off. We would go out of our mind!! Any teacher will tell you these breaks are CRUCIAL for our well being. I do though have a summer job. I am teaching summer school which is great because it will keep my mind off of this move.

That brings me to the MOVE. So no new news. We are still waiting around for someone to buy our house. I am so conflicted!!! I really want to stay but I know in my heart how hard it would be for me to stay, and how easy it would be if I moved. We would be saving SOOO much money but I don't want to leave. A part of me wants to just sell this stupid house and move. Kind of like a bandaid removal. The quicker it happens to less pain you feel or at least it doesn't last as long. I really am conflicted. It is so hard because I can't really talk to Matt about it because he doesn't want me to stay but knows the reality of all this. I was reading a book my sister in law had by Max Lucado and it really gave peace to my heart at the time. I really felt like God was speaking to me and that he would show us his plan. I don't know what to think about anymore. I just wish this would all be decided and things would move on.

So you know when you dream or think about something and then after that particular time, you seem to see that thing everywhere! Well I can't seem to get baby's off my brain. I see them everywhere and I can't get them off my mind. I know I know...its that season but I and so excited when I see a baby or a pregnant lady but there is a sense of jelousy because I want to be that woman....I want a family with Matt. I know that this is another part of our plan but I wish that this part would speed up so we can get to the other part!! :)

you would think....

That I would have more pictures since I have that really nice camera but nope. I haven't taken any. Well things have been crazy here. We went camping last weekend which was GREAT!!! We got to spend the weekend with some great friends! They are really special to us and it was nice to relax and have fun. We are planing two more trips this summer.

Well the EOG's are over!! We did it!! As a third grade we kicked butt!! I had three that didn't pass and the others were about the same. The new teacher to third grade who is a great friend of mine, only had two that didn't pass. It was amazing!! We feel so good about this. AS a school we made great growth!! It is amazng!!!

Well this weekend we had two showings. A bittersweet moment. One of them took a brochure and cd. They even went in the attic. They must have liked it alot. I am hoping if our house does sell that we can do it soon. I don't want to sit around all summer thinking I will be back at Millbrook and then I wont be. It is hard though because I was voted for leadership. I really want to be leadership chair but I can see that might not happen.

So three weeks until the beach!! I can't wait to go to Florida. We are going again and its going to be great! I got two new bathingsuits which again was one of those moments that you wonder how the hell did you get that fat. OK ok I know you have heard this before but I love food. I don't know what to do. I am thinking that I have three weeks to drop ten pounds. You think I can do it? Lets wait and see!!!

Overweight that I am....

Ok so my sister and I have come to the conclusion that at 23 bathing suits SUCK!! I have hit the point in my life that I don't want to wear one. So today I was all about eating right and working out. I am determined to lose ten pounds. Well today was hard. I am HUNGRY!!! I want to eat my arm. It is not like I am starving myself. I have ate my limit and I am still hungry. THIS SUCKS!!! Ok so I went online to see what the best amount of calories to eat and when I googled BMI I put in the info and found out that I am OVERWEIGHT!!! Now I know could lose a few pounds but overweight is a harsh word. I don't want to keep gaining weight but that is what I seem to be doing. I really need to stop but food is so good. I have always been thin except for the past few years. Since I have been married I have gained 20 pounds. THREE YEARS 20 POUNDS!!! So now that I have said it outloud you would think I would want to do something to change it.....I hope to.....So if you see me ask me to put down the snickers and stop with the fried food because I hope to lose these pounds that I have put on since being married. I want to be skinny again. Or at least feel good about myself. So I am off again on this rollercoaster of weight loss. Lets hope that I can pull it off....wish m e luck

Still waiting...

Ok so I haven't posted in awhile hoping that I would have good news and not just the same old but no such luck. We are still waiting on the house to be sold. Right now we have had no bites and everyone says the same things (thanks but the backyard isn't what we want). This week we have someone coming out to do some work to the yard but I still think people aren't going to like it. So the decision is that I will stay in Raleigh and start the school year if our house hasn't sold. Which is a bittersweet moment because I want to stay but I MISS my husband greatly. Today he left for VA and it hit hard that he was leaving for another week. I held it together the past few weeks but today was really hard. As I sit here and type I am sad thinking that he is gone for another week.

Well on a happy note I voted for the first time ever this weekend. Matt and I went out and early voted since he will be gone on Tuesday. It was really exciting to see all the people and to vote for the very first time. I was so happy when I left because I truely felt that I was making history. It will be interesting to see what happens on Tuesday. I truely feel in my heart that the right person will win and that things will start to turn around for our nation. I know that things have been hard in the US and I hope that the new president will be the person to turn it all around. Put aside all feelings and think about the big picture and vote for the person that will take all the politics and put them aside and make a change for this world.

Well school is going really well. We have two weeks till the EOG which is again bittersweet. I want it over but I pray my kids are going to do well. I feel alot better about these kids then the kdis last year. I feel these kids will do better even though they started lower since I know what I am doing now. ALP has really helped this group. I just pray that I don't have to high of expectations for these kids. I really want them to be successful.

Well life is pretty simple these days which is nice. I have not other exciting news. We are just hanging around for the house to sell and for things to be set out for us. We will just have to wait and see what happens.

Such an amazing husband!!

Ok so if you have been keeping up you know this past week has been hard. I pretty much lost it this week because of this move. I have had a million what ifs and I just couldn't calm myself. Well Matt went to VA this week so he came home on friday and asked what we had planed. We had nothing so he decided to suprise me since I love suprises. Friday he picked me up at school and told me to go home and pack a bag for two nights. So we did and then we drove towards Charlotte. He told me that we were going down town nothing else. So we drove to downtown and checked into the Hilton. I was so excited because I need a much needed mini vacation. So we checked in an started to walk downtown. We wanted to find somewhere to eat but every where had a hour wait. So being a little disapointed we went back to the hotel and got a drink from the bar. wellll the bar was under construction so we bought a drink for this make shift counter thing (spending nine dollars on each drink) and went back to the room. We got upstairs and unpacked our bags and literally fell right to sleep. We laughed when we woke up because we are such old folks. Well saturday we woke up and we started driving downtown. We headed to the Discovery PLace. I was really excited because I love museums and I think they are so fun when you walk around and see all the children playing. So we walked around we went to the IMAX theater and watched a movie about dinosaurs. After that we drove to the life sience museum. That was fun and then our day was done. Matt thought it would take a little longer but it didn't. So we called some great friends of ours and we went out to eat which was great. I really miss them and it was so great to see them. Then we went to see his sister and we sat andt alked with her. After that Matt had suprised me with a dinner date with my dad and step mom. It was great!! We went to an irish pub downtown and had a few drinks and we jsut hung out. This week was so needed. My husband is amazing. I take him for granted SO MUCH!! I take out things on him that I shouldn't I really don't show him enough how much I appreciate him. I love that man with al my heart. Even though this move has been stresful and has taken its tole I love him and he is my world. God has created the man for me!!! I love you MATTHEW!!!

What if.....??????

Ok so Matt left today for VA. The first day of a long journey. He drove up there to spend the week and then he will come back spend the weekend with Stella and I and then head back up. This day is the first day of a journey that has taken its toll and is continuing to take its toll.

I don't want to move. I said it. I don't wnat to live in va and it makes me sad to think about moving. At this point I am tired of hearing people say think positive or be excited about change, or it will be ok. I just want to sit here and pout because right now I am sad and I am in no mood to be happy about it. I want to be sad because it makes this real and make Raleigh a part of my hear. Today I went to lunch with some friends to celebrate a teachers engagement and I just sat there sad. We talked about the move and all the WHAT IFS!!! I started to get stressed and my heart sank.

The hardest damn part of this move is the million WHAT IFS???? All I can think about is what if this what if that. All that runs through this ticker of a brain is what if our house doesn't sell? What if the house doesn't sell and I can't get a job? What if we have to take a hit on the house and pay out? What if I don't have a job this summer how will we get by? What if the house doesn't sell? What if we can't move? What if my job falls through? What if they don't hire me? There are many more that run through my head and I just am sick to my stomach. I hate this!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH My heart hurts from all these what ifs. My head is filled with millions of thoughts. My thoughts have always flown through my brain but this move make it work double time. I just want answers!! At this point I don't care if we get the go ahead to move I just need it finalized. Right now if they house dones't sell we don't move. That is the number one variable in all this. We don't sell the house, we have to keep it. Which means someone has to stay which means i might work at millbrook again but that also means matt is in VA and I am not. My heart is sick because I know that our hands are tied and its all in his but its hard to just let go and hand it to God.I know we have no control and I know that he has worked it all out and he will show us as soon as we trus him but that is hard. I am not good at this.

God....please take this move and show us where we need to go. Lead us down the path that you desire for us. Please let us know what you want us to do. This move is in your hands. Our house is in your hands. Your will is our will. You have complete control and we know this. Please guide us and lead our hearts to where you wish them to fall.