Nights in Rodanthe

Ok so Matt and I just got back from this movie and I am a ball of emotions. I can't stop thinking about this movie or crying. While watching this movie all I could think about was losing Matt. How morbid I know. I just kept thinking about life without him. Thinking about what I would do. Matt and I don't see each other Tuesday and Wednesday of the week. He is in VA and I am here. I am sad and I miss him so much when he isn't here. While watching this movie I started to think about all the wives out there that have lost thier husband, or their husband is serving our country and they stationed somewhere over seas, or a husband that leaves the entire week. I can't imagine living their life. This movie def. hit a chord in which made me think about how I take our life for granted. I complain, bitch, cry, blame and do everything else I shouldn't. I do it because I think our life stinks with this whole move....but it could be worse. I could be alone forever. Matt could be gone forever. We live an amazing life. We have an amazing family, house, life, friends, jobs and everything else. We are lucky. I say I know this but do I really. Do I really know how lucky we are? People always say you don't know what you have till you lose it. I don't want to lose something to be greatful for it. Can you be greatful for your life if you don't lose someone or something important? I need to do a better job of letting person who obviously gave me this life know I am greatful for what we have. I need to show him that I don't take it all for granted....but I don't want to lie. I want to truely be greatful. How do you show that? How to show him that you are greatful for you husband, friends, family, life? I guess the answer is in prayer, devotion and constant reminders that we don't do this, he does! Those words are easy to type but I don't do them daily or even weekly. This is a part of my life that I need to work on. I say it alot and I do work on it. Slowly but surely. I think about my life and how I prject myself on others. I don't ever want people to think that I am fake or ungreatful. I want the people closest to me to know that they are amazing people and I am so greatful for their friendship and love. I want my family to know that without them this life would not be possible. I want my amazing husband to know that I love him from a place where there is no end. We live our life to hecticly and we are sometimes in passing, but I love you so dearly. You are my everything in this world and this world would be nothing without you. You make this world doable. I am so greatful for your friendship, love, compassion, support and most of all for the man you have become and the man you are!

Ok....so all this came from a movie....you should def. go see it!

Still Working Out!!!

So it has been 11 weeks of working out. I am so excited. I am trying really hard to keep this weight off. I am at 138 right now and I want to keep going. It is really hard though because I love love food. I am adicted to the gym though. I am really seeing the difference in my arms and abs. So lets keep it up.

I hate LM!!

Ok so you know our situation around here. Life is crazy. We are in the middle of things right now. Trying to get this house sold and move to VA. Well my hubby is traveling between here and VA. Monday through Thursday. Well today he called me to say that he had to stay. I was so upset because I really miss him. I miss seeing him, kissing him, hugging him, talking with him, smelling him, laugh with him, being with him. I miss him more then I think until he says he isn't coming home and then I really really miss him. This is hard on us but I know it is what our family needs. This is hard because we don't get to be together like a married couple. You so take for granted the moments you have with your spouse. I know I did. Weekends are so different then during the week. I miss him so much.


Well the sickness seems to have passed. I feel better. This mornign I woke up feeling like crap. I really didn't want to go to the gym but I did. I felt better after working out. Let's see if it stays away.

feeling like poo

So this week I haven't felt well at all. It hits right after school is over and I feel very sea sick. I hate being sick. I really am a baby and and since Matt isn't here I am more of a baby. Lately this sickness has hit at the end of the day and I am so tired I don't want to do anything. I really can't wait for our family trip in November. I am ready for something to be excited about.

School is going great! I have a student intern coming into my classroom on Tuesdays which makes me really excited. Having another person in the room always helps. She seems really sweet and eager to learn. I love teaching and helping so I am really excited about this.

Friday a movie comes out that I am really excited about. Nights in Rodenth is going to be such a great movie. Matt said we get to go this weekend and I am really really excited. I will let you know how that goes.

Well I am off to bed since I feel like poo again. Hope this passes.

So excited...I can't hide it!!

Ok so I just got a phone call from my aunt! This is a phone call that made my day!! She was calling to let me know that on November 8th the entire family will be getting together for a Thanksgiving Dinner!! I am so darn excited I can't contain myself. Now as many of you know my family is like many others. We are lets say a little disfunctional. We don't see each other alot and there tends to be alot of drama. We haven't all been together except for when Matt and I got married. We try to get together but it all falls apart!! We should try harder but I am so excited!!

She told me that my uncle Les and Uncle Brian and Aunt Lisa from Chicago are coming in as well!! That made it even more exciting!! I can't wait to see them all and I can't wait to catch up on all the cool things that are happening. This is what my famliy needs!! My brother might even come!! I love this season and this holiday! I love being close with my family and it makes me sad that we can't be closer.

So pray that everyone will be able to come and pray that we have a wonderful time and everyone is on their best behavior!!!

Count Down till November 8th: 48 days!!!

Fall!!!

So this weekend marks the weekend that fall rolls in!! I love this weather. I want to create a place where this weather stays forever!! I love being able to wear pants with a shirt and still feel cool. I love the way it smells when going outside. I love the gitty feeling you get when your walking outside.

I hate the cold and flue that comes with this weather. I am fighting it right now and I know it was my fault. I told a friend that I never get sick.....sure enough here it came!! FULL FORCE!!

Well things are still the same. Except we found out Friday that as of December 10th if the house doesn't sell then the company can't move us. Well they can but then it would become taxable income and that is 20,000 dollars that would be added to our income to be taxed which means that we would have to pay in an ass load of money...so needless to say I am upset. This is the reason I wanted to move...they were going to move us!!! Perfessional movers!! Oh please dear lord help us....evertime we turn around it is somethign else that gets taken away!!

I really and frusterated with life right now. I am in love with my kids this year but I am so stressed and frusterated with this move and the future I really can't enjoy what is going on. I want a hint or something to know what will happen to us in a few months. I don't know what to do.....Matt and I are fine but it is hard and gets harder each month!! This whole thing SUCKS!!! I don't know what will happen and if the house doesn't sell then we are back where we started. I just want him to get another job and stay here! Why is that so darn hard....why can't he get another job here? It makes me sick to my stomach to think about the next few months. I hate this feeling. Why can't we just move already or stay already. They took away his gas mileage, they took away his fridays, they took away the moving. What else can we take? I hate this so much......

Nothing else is going on. I am so ready for Christmas time because we get to go see the family. I remember being 16 and I would always wish for another year to pass by because I wanted to see what was next and what was going to happen. When I got married I was so excited and content with us in the now I hadn't had one of those thoughts till now. I wish now it would be a year from now so we can see what happens. I really hate wishing time away, but I am not sure what is harder....sitting her wondering or missing a year. I really wish I was more of a prayer warrior because I know that is why I am not at peace. My friend Stephanie was my biggest prayer warrior in colleg. She was always praying and I felt it. She was there for me and could always talk to her and tell her things that I couldn't tell other people. I haven't seen her in years and I miss her dearly. It is odd to look back only a few years and see where you are and who is with you. I really do miss her dearly.

Well I am off to take some medicine and go to bed. I have been in bed all day and I am planning on staying here till tomorrow!!

life is the same....

So this weekend was so much fun! We spent a birthday weekend with our sister and brother in law and their new puppy Scout. Stella loves her little puppy cousin!! We spent time hanging out and going out to eat!

Well things are the same on the home front. We are still in limbo land. We have no idea what is going to happen. We want to move on with this thing but it all sits on this house. Please pray this house will sell. We dropped the price this weekend and maybe just maybe it will sell.

School is great! This year has started off amazing! I love having these children and I love my team. This year is going to be great! We have alot of work to do, but my kiddos are great!! We will have a great year!!

Well life is good and we hope that the next few months will show us the future!

Week one down....Many more to go!!

So sorry I haven't poseted sooner but this week has been crazy!! I am sooooo excited about my group of kids this year!! They are some cuties let me tell you!! I have twenty right now which is great! That is perfect. I know it wont stay that way but I hope it will!!

This year I am really relaxed and excited. Def. having two years under my belt has helped alot! This year I feel like I can focus on my kids and not worry about teaching because I know how to do that part. I am really excited about this year!! We have a great team and they are all excited.

The first week has been good. I trying to plan more this year and really get organized! This year my principal asked me and another teacher if we wanted practicum students from Peace college. I was so excited when she asked me. This is something I have always wanted to do. Pay it forward in a sense. She will be coming every Tuesday from the end of September to the end of November to learn and help with the kiddos!! I can't wait to meet her! I hope our personalities click. Nancy an Abby have had these students and are now teaching Student Teachers which is exciting!! I can't wait for her to begin.

Well nothing new on the house front. Right now the has is tech. off the market because we have to re sign and then they will put it back on. Matt hasn't been in the office this week so he wasn't able to print the paperwork. Now that I have started the year it seems that things are put on the back burner which I am ok with. I hate not knowing but I am glad that I am not worriing about it anymore.

Well James got his lincense back this week!! He hasn't had it for a few years and I am so proud of him. He has worked hard and was able to get everything worked out. He also has an amazing girlfriend who loves him and stands by him all the way.

I promise to take pictures of my classroom this week!!!