must be boredom

I am sitting here watching TLC bored out of my mind because we haven't done anything all day. I love lazy days but I also hate them. I hate just sitting around the house and doing nothing productive but I am also in no mood to clean the house or do laundry. You would think being married I would always have someone to entertain me but no.I think that is the hardest part living away from family. You can always call family up to hang out or eat dinner with or just go over their house to hang out. In Raleigh i don't have that. I love my friends but all of them I work with and I hate to call them to hang out since they all spend day after day with me. I don't want them to get sick of me. Katie called and she was buying chili ingredients for New Years Eve get together at her cousins house. I felt a twing of jelousy because we don't have that here. Matt and I really don't have a couple we hang with. I was reading another persons blog and they have a game night they attend and that is something I love doing. We love playing games when we go to our families but in Raleigh we don't have a couple we feel comfortable calling and saying hey you want to hang. In college people are forced to spend time with you since you live with them or you work with them. Being an adult it is hard because its harder to meet people in the same stage of life. I think that is what we have missed by not being a full time member of a church. Now that we are moving I don't want to go to a church and fall in love and then have to leave. I know that is what is missing in my life right now but I am alrready having a hard time leaving have to let go or a church family would be the hardest. I know this is not a worthy reason but I just know that right now its the right thing. I will look harder for a church when we get to VA since we know we will def be there for a year. I want to find a family because I know that we don't have that in our marriage right now. When we were going to church regularly I know that i felt better about myself. Since I have gone on a tagent back to the reason of this post. Here is a story that I have to share about my amazing husband. God created him for me. I am not an easy person to love. I am greatful for all the people that put up with me because I am difficult and I am high energy. Matt knows everything button to push but also everyone switch to switch to make me feel better. Everyday is a new adventure because we learn more and more about each other. Here is a story to show how sweet he is. He is the most caring person and he takes care of me all the time even when I don't tell him. I know that I need to tell him more but here is a moment that shows how amazing he is.

So this leads to a sweet story. My husband is an amazing man. He is always thinking about me and never does for himself. He is always buying for me which I love because that is my love language but I sometimes feel horrible because he doesn't get things for himself. Through the years he has splurged on gifts for me but only once for himself (x box). So he got a gift card to bestbuy for Christmas. He was excited because he really wanted this computer game. He bought the game and loaded it and it didn't work. The computer he had was so small for the game. Now a little history on his computer. When Matt started college in 2002 he bought this computer. It is a desktop and has held up nicely. He doesn't hook it up to the Internet because it has all our financial info on it so it is still working well. The thing is, it is almost six years old. That is old for a computer these days. So back to the story. Matt is now mad because this GREAT game that he bought doesn't work. So he called his computer friends and they suggested a video card thing that will make the computer better. We went out bought the card. The card wasn't enough power. We went back spent an hour trying to return the first one bought another card came home installed and it worked ok. Now my wifely duty fell into play. Matt really needs a new computer not just for games but for everything else. So I said to him why don't you get another computer. Being the realist he said we can't. :) Now for another side note, Matt got me a Nikon D40 camera for my bday and Christmas. I am in love with my camera and it wasn't cheap. So I dropped the computer thing since he does our finances and we conducting a HUGE move in a few months. Fast forward two days and we are in Walmart getting groceriesWe walk through the computer game section and it was like the heavens opened. There stood a box with a 19 inch desktop computer that was fast enough for this GREAT game he bought. I could see the gears turning in his head. I knew he was thinking about it so I said why don't you get the computer. His eyes GREW three times and he said " You mean I can buy the computer?" Now remember he does the finances so really he would know better then me, but he sounded so cute when he said it. I love seeing him all excited about something since he doesn't get this way about alot of things. So he said it again " Can I really get the computer?" I said of course and there he went box in hand walking through Walmart with his new computer. We got home and he has been on that thing for two straight days. He even came upstairs to show me the imprints the chair is leaving on his leg. He is so cute, he has been hoping around the house each time something really cool happens. It is so cute!! I love being married to him. Even though the past few months have been hectic and we aren't sure what God has planned for us I am sure he meant for us to be together. Matt is truly my better half. There are times where I get all flustered with him and the things that we argue about are always stupid but being married to him is what I was created for.

I know why no one checks my blog....because I don't update

Ok so I see now what no one reads my blog. I don't update it. :) Simple as that!! Ok so I am on Christmas break from school and I am bored and Matt is playing his new computer game so I thought this would be a great time to play around with my blog. As you can see I changed the background all by myself. I didn't call James one time!!! Even though I deleted the part where I am able to change the font type I still made it look pretty. Not sure how I deleted that part but I did. Ohwell!

Well we have some pretty exciting things happening in our lives. We are moving to VA at the end of the school year. Matt is taking a job there which is a GREAT opp. for him. Now before you ask I wasn't happy with the move. I didn't want to leave this glorious place call Raleigh. I love it here. Our house is great and the people are amazing! How could I leave? Well as a wife these are those moments where you suck up the sadness and support your husband. There was never a moment where I thought about not moving because I know how excited he is. I know he wants this and it is great for our family and I know all this. That doesn't make the move any easier. I know I will cry, I am crying as I type that is how attached I am of this place. I think what I am so sad about is leaving the friends I have made. These are people that have been there since we started this journey. These are people that have been through the move and the house and the dog and the JOB. I am so scared that our friendships will stop with this move. I don't want to lose these amazing people. I felt the same way when I graduated college. Now a days it is so hard to stay in touch with people because you have so much going on. I just don't want them to forget about me and our friendship. I think that sounds selfish but these people have been there for me through it all and I don't know what I am going to do without them. I am also very sad about leaving my school. Millbrook has been a place that no one could imagine. This is a school that has embraced me and all that I am. If you know me at all you know that is alot more then people bargin for. Paula has been an amazing mentor and without her I wouldn't have this job. She has pushed me to be a better teacher in every way. She has shown me how to stand up for myself as well as be strong in those moments when you want to lose it. The entire staff has truely become family. This is a place where you walk down the hallway and people hug you and ask how you are or call you beautiful just because. This is a place where people know your buisness because they care about you and wnat to be there for you. And las but not least the team I work with. These woman are a blessing from heaven. They truely make this job bearable. They are the four people in my life that know almost everything. My neighbor is the person I can't live without. She will never know how much she has meant to me. She has taught me so many amazing things. This person will never know her impact. I always joke about her getting sick of me and even if she is she NEVER lets me know it. Nancy is the only person in the world that will always put you first in the conversation and when you talk with her she is always excited to hear the story or your plans. I have never met someone who truely cares about her friends the way she does. She will be missed the most!!!!! How could I leave all this? I am so scared I am going to get into a school that doesn't get ME or I don't get it. VA has alot of traditional schools which will be a shock in itself. I just hope that I can keep all the memories and make new ones as well.

Other then the move nothing new is really happening. We will put our house on the market some time in Jan or Feb. Hope it sells fast and for what we ask and then we will move in temp. housing till I finish out the year. I hope that this all goes smoothly or I might just lose it. Matt has been amazing. He knows this is hard for me. He wants what is best for us and I know this is the best for us but it still hard.

Well Christmas has gone and the new year approaches. I am excited about this year but the past two years have flown by. I can't wait to see what the new year has to offer I hope that all our family stays well and that our friends will have all their wishes come true. I will upload some pictures from the family Christmas dinner. I will also put some Stella pictures up. Matt got me A Nilon D40 camera for my birthday so there will be many pictures to come!!!

When the media screws up

So a few posts ago I told you about how our school didn't meet NCLB. Well on Friday we found out that the state screwed up. We really did meet NCLB. So now all these parents who were told they could leave, can't. The state has to call all our parents and let them know that our school is amazing and they want their child to stay. It is funny how things work out. I am very excited about making AYP but when you get blasted in the newspaper about how you didn't make it for two years in a row people wont hear the retraction. We will have to see how things turn out.

Ok so Monday officially starts the first days of workdays. I am really excited to get this year started and get my new batch of kiddos. I heard last night that I have a class full of new children to our school. That is a double edge sword. One side is you don't know the kiddos so they could all be hellions, or the other side is they are great kiddos and you have an amazing year. We are hoping for the second side!! Can't wait to get started. I changed my room up so I will have pictures soon!! :)

The suprise is out!!!

Ok so this weekend I threw Matt a 25th suprise birthday party!! It was great!! I had all his family up here along with all his friends!! It was amazing!! He loved every moment of the party. He hates having attention on him so at time he was a little shy but it was great. He also got every gift he asked for. I loved throwing him the party but it was sooooo nerve racking. On Friday I had to drive all the way to ECU to pick my brother up and I had to lie to Matt and tell him I was at school since he had taken the day off. I hate lieing to him but it was all worth it. He was very suprised to see everyone there. He knew something was up when his mom was putting on makeup in the car right before they got home! :) I loved seeing his face when he walked in the door!! This is the first time in five years we have been together that I have given him something for his birthday. He doesn't like getting things he just likes giving so I wanted to really suprise him!! Now he wants to start planning thanksgiving up at our house!! The thing he loves the most is having everyone he loves at our house!! That is what I wanted to give him!!

We also found out this weekend that our good friends the Hardens are expecting their first child, a baby girl!!!!! I am so excited for them because it has been a long year trying for this little miricale!!!! I am going to live vicariosly through her these nine month. The sad part though is she is going to be a stay at home mom which means she wont be teaching with us anymore :(. I am just being selfish because she is an amazing teacher!! I am so excited!! Baby's are in the air!!!

Walking in the door!!!! SUPRISE!!!

James my brother and my dad!!! Who is cooler?

Matts birthday cake!! Guitar Hero II!!!

Matts sister and brother inlaw ( my sister and brother inlaw as well :) )

Matts mom and dad

what a week

Ok so this week has been the most stressful this summer......

In may I was rearended by some guy who wasn't paying attention. I had to get a check before I fixed the car which took months to get. Finally I got the check so I went to get the car fixed. I took it in monday and asked the lady if it would be done by wednesday since I had to leave fore an NCAE workshop. She oh yes it will be done!! I was confident in her answer. Now I didn't ask for a rental since it is the summer and I didn't really need to drive anywhere. So Monday goes and most of tuesday goes. I call them on Tuesday to find out about the car and they tell me it wont get done will late thursday....I panicked!

Side note: I had to be at the workshop wednesday, thursday and return late Friday. This workshop was free but if I cancelled I have to pay for everything. So I had to ge there! I called the shop to ask what I needed to do and they said get a rental. Now remember the insurance hasn't oked a rental so I was freaking out we were going to have to pay for the rental. I get to the rental shop and they said they should ok the rental just take it and they will get back with us.

I take the rental and drive to the beach on Wednesday. Matt calls me Thursday and tells me that the car rental wants my car because the insurance company only said two days (tues and wed.) I am freaking out!!! I can't get a hold of them till I make it back into town on Friday.

I am driving home Friday, almost hit a cop car because he stopped in the middle of forty and I get a phone call. Matt calls to tell me he rearended a guy and that he has to take his car to the shop because the front end needs to get fixed.

I get home and head to the shop to get my car and the shop tells me to call Allstate and let them know that my car wasn't done till Friday and they HAVE to pay for the extra days. I call them and they said they would take care of it. I was relived but still I was STRESSED out because I was scared the car rental place thought I had stolen their car because I didn't return the car. So this week has been stressful.

The workshop was good. I met alot of people that are very active in NCAE and wake NCAE!! I loved being in the room listening to these people talk and share ideas about NCAE. We talked about why teachers don't join and how to explain to them the benifits of joining. The best part was on Thursday this lady from the legislators office came to talk about the budget and that the house keeps throwing out the bill to allow teachers ONE day of personal leave that we don't have to pay for. So she passed out this list of house members who keep saying no and told us to call them. So about 60 teachers pulled out their cell phones and called these house members. It was GREAT!! I felt empowerd to call these members and tell them that I wont support them if they don't cahnge their mind. There is NO reason we shouldn't have this ONE day. They said they would try. I love the power we get being in NCAE and how these members listen to our needs.

Well Stella still has her ring worm. She is losing hair daily. It sucks!! My house is FULL of hair and its everywhere!!!

School starts in THREE weeks!!! OMG this summer has flown by. I have read alot and gone to the pool alot. I am so excited to get back to school and meet my new children. It is suprising how good I feel about this year. This week I am working at the magnet cent on some PYP stuff. Then next week I have two workshops and one kit training. Then the week after RELAXATION!! THEN SCHOOLS IN SESSION!!!

I am a horrible mom!!!

Well the vet called and said that stella is infested with ring worm!! I am so sad for her because she is losing hair daily. The vet said to wash her with this fungle cream and spray down everything with this fungle spray. It is so sad because she looks like an abandonded dog that we found. Her coat looks mangy and she looks so pitiful. Hopefully it will clear up in two weeks.

Well this weekend was the lake trip with the inlaws and it was great. We went on the boat which broke down and we were stranded. Then we got back went out to eat and shopped at Walmart. This weekend made me realize how much I miss my family. I really love Raleigh!! I wish I could switch the cities but keep the people. This place is amazing I just miss my family. We went and saw my dad and played some games with him and it was great. I miss that. I miss those family dinners and gatherings. I want to be there to grow with everything but this city and these people in Raleigh are amazing and my heart has grown for them so much!!! I don't know what to do. You sit here and in your heart you know that this is not the home or place you will be in forever. You know that your young and things change, but it is so hard because you make friendships and they become a part of you. I can't think about leaving these people but I know that some day I will. Matt has told me over and over but I cna't stop my heart from loving these people. I also love my school and wake county. I am scared to leave Millbrook because I don't want to leave something so perfect. I know tha tyou can't get attatched to schools but it is hard. Also wake county gives me so many oppurtunities to grow in my edcuation and profession. We will have to see......

im boring

Ok so I was going through peoples blogs that I don't know and I had one of those light blub moments. The reason I don't blog as offten as I should is because I have a pretty boring life. :) That is not a bad thing but I have a life that doesn't have much going on. I really don't do any extra things and all our family is far away so I really stay at the house with the dog and husband! Hopefully when school starts I will have more to blog about. :) I do like blogging I just can't ever think about anything to write!! Ok enough for now. :)

what do they expect

Ok so today we found out our school doesn't meet NCLB. We worked our butts off this year but we still didn't make it. As a teacher it is so hard because these tiny little numbers change everything. I know parents are going to ask why we didn't meet and what do you say? We have a great school!!! We aren't magicians!! We can't make these kids do anymore if their parents don't care. I just wish people would see that our school is a good school! We have tons of resources and we have great teachers we just can't work miracles!!!

Here is a link to all the schools:
http://www.wral.com/asset/news/local/2007/07/17/1603582/schooloptiosn.swf

I have to get better at updating..

The sad part is I don't think anyone reads this!! Well this summer has gone so WELL!!! I really thought Matt was going to be right and I was going to go out of my mind, but I haven't!! I have loved every day of this vacation. I have read tons of books, gone to the pool, and most of all played with Stella!! I have painted my office, planned a little for next year, cleaned the book room at school, gone camping with old friends and cooked many dinners. I love being at home and relaxing!! I am SO ready for school to start but this has been nice to be at home. I am glad I didn't get a fast food job which was my last resort. Matt has been amazing!! I don't know if I would have been able to do this without him. He hasn't asked me to get a job or even mentioned it. I love him to death!!! He is an amazing husband!!

I am getting read for next year and I am so excited about next year!! I am ready to see those beautiful faces ready to learn and ready to be third graders makes me more and more excited!!! I am ready for next year because I feel so much better about all the things I have to do. I have all these ideas that I want to try. I am excited about becoming a better teacher.

been awhile

SCHOOLS OUT!!!!! What a great feeling to have! My first year of teaching is complete!! As Mr. Flowers put it 29 more to go. To be honest I wont be a teacher for 30 year. I will do something to change this education system. World watch out!!!

Well school has been out for two days and I am already planning for next year. That is the nature of the beast I guess. My brain wont shut off. I can't stop thinking about all the things I want to do better next year. Imagine the ticker at the bottom of the news channel with all the updates, that is what I see in my head all DAY!!! I can't make it stop and there are some really great ideas so I decided to write them down. When I have hit my limit I will run down stairs and open my "To Do" list for 2007 2008 and type away. I have a list started with all the ideas and things I need to do. Sad to say this job never ends.

Well we leave tomorrow for Disney!! I can't wait. One week where I get to be a kid again. Mother inlaw is going so that makes things even better. She will do tons for us and make this week so great!! I can't wait. Matt and I are in much need of a vacation. His job is stressful and I don't make things easy so we both need some R and R.

This will be the first time we leave Stella for a week :(. Going to be hard, I am already sad thikning about it. She is our child and you have all these what if thoughts which to some people it may seem weird, we are talking about a dog. The kennel we are taking her to is really nice and a teacher at school takes her dog there so im not worried about the place. Nancy said she would go get her if she get depressed. :)

Well life is normal as usual. We are just hanging around. We still haven't found a church family yet. We were attending a church but we didn't fit in. I think being Luthern makes it hard to attend a southern baptist church. Nothing against a baptist church its just hard going from one type of church to another. Since we haven't attended this one in awhile, we really haven't looked for another. I know that is what is missing and I loved going on Sundays, made my weeks better and my mind set better, but we can't decide where to go. I know God will point un in the right direction, but I also know he wont take our lazy buts and drive us there.

So this summer I don't have a job. It is a touchy subject. I HATE the fact that I am a teacher with a 4 year degree and make ok money and still have to get a part time job for the summer. We work just as many or even more darn hours then any other buisness person and they don't have to get second job. I know some do for other reasons but most don't. I just wish society would see that we dont get summers off. We don't have a nice long break. I am putting my family under stress by not going out and getting a part time job. I hate that but if you look at the numbers I would have to work every day from 7 to five even saturday and sunday to make a fraction of what I make each week from the first day of summer to last to make a difference. I hate that. Matt has been amazing and not forced me to get a job because he knows how frustrated I am. He said it would all work out and I know it will but darn I hate it. I know this is the lowest my pay scale will be so in the years it will get easier (till we have children) but it just boils my blood. That is why I wont teach for 30 years.

So I am not the rep for our school with NCAE which excites me. I am so excited because I love to argue and I love to make a difference. I atteneded my first meeting and it was thrilling. I sat in a room with 50 or more people that were all like me!!! I know that sounds funny but these people are as crazy and want change as bad as I do. So next year my main job is to recruit people to join. I am excited to see how many I can get. I think as a teacher it is our duty to be part of NCAE. If you want people fighting for your rights you need to join. We have had two years of salary increase due to NCAE. Which would have never happened without them. The more members the more moeny and the more rights given to teachers. Right now they were working on getting teachers TWO days of leave that we wouldn't have to pay out of pocket for. I know your going huh. Let me explain. As a teacher we earn personal leave days like every other perfession but the catch is if we wnat to use them we have to pay 50 dollars for a sub. Now logically your should have your jaw to the floor right now. Sad part is there are rep. in the NC governemtn that don't have their jaws to the floor. They belive that teachers will abuse that right and be out all the time. They feel their children suffer when teachers our out. WE ARE HUMAN!!! My brother graduate from college next year and if I want to go see him fifty dollars out of my pocket. That is a joke. NO OTHER PROFFESSION has that!!! Hence why teachers all take sick leave, but as a first year you don't get that many. Parents seeing thier children win an award, fifty dollars, mothers seeing their fiver year olds proformance, fifty dollars. ALL those mean we have to pay. Its a joke, and guess what it didn't pass. they won by saying children would suffer and there wasn't enough money. MY BUT!!! That is a joke. There is money they just don't want to give it. (stepping off my soap box) So now you see why I am the NCAE rep for my school. I hate the way we are treated and I hate that people are makin decisions for us who have never stepped foot in a teachers shoes, and people who only care about money. So if you want more info ask!! or go to www.NCAE.org.

Well that is all for now! I am going back to make spelling lists for next year and working on my to do list!! Hope you enjoyed my soap box. Many more to come! :)

27 DAYS!!!

Can you belive that in 27 days I will finish my first year of teaching!!! Or as my principle said, finished one year 29 more to go. This year overall has been really good. I don't think I started stressing till after Christmas. My kiddos have been really good this year! They overall have been a GREAT first class! My team has been amazing! We truely get along so well!!

Well Matt and I are doing great! He just took a new job and he is really excited. He really wants to move up in insurance. This is a great move for the entire family. The house is going well. We bought a grill last weekend, and matt has cooked two meals already! Its GREAT!!!

My trip to Guatemala was life changing!!! I can't explain in words how this trip has changed me. Seeing the people in this country thank God for the little things they have showed that as Americans we are greedy! It was hard to to feel good because you know your better off, and these people give everything to get to Antigua to celebrate Gods love. It was BREATHTAKING!! Then to go and see the ruins and the volcano was an added bonus. This trip creates a fire in you that makes you want to change the world. I see these children in this country want to go to school and learn as much as they can and the children here complain all the time!!! I don't know but it was a trip I will never forget!!!

Fatty Fatty

Ok so the past few month I have been noticing some changes. I have been slowly buying new clothes because the others don't fit anymore and I the scale seems to slowly get higher numbers. The last time I checked I was at 137 and that means I have gained 12 pounds in ONE YEAR!!! Ok so when you gain a pound here and a pound there you think in your head so what its fine. When the year is up and you weigh 12 pounds more you like where did it all come from. So the past few weeks I have been slowly becoming more and more depressed because I hate the way I look and my pants are to tight and I had to buy new underwear because the others wouldn't cover my butt! So needless to say matt and I have had some heated conversations because I want to do something about it but I can't. I have no where to work out and I have nothing to workout with. Before in the appartments I lived in there was always a nice gym. I could get motivated and just go on up and workout. Now if I get that motivation nothing! I can walk down the street or jog but my legs start to itch and my knees start to hurt and then I am done. So I am in need of workout equipment. We are vernturing offf today to find me something so this depression will go away. The problem we have is when will I work out! So I told matt if we buy something i PROMISE to work out at least four times a week. I want my skinny legs back. The other problem is that people don't see the weight because I can hide it and its all in my legs and butt. The people don't see the red creases my pants leave on my legs when I get undressed at night. People don't see the wedges I have because my underwear doesn't cover my butt. Those are all the hidden weight gains people don't see. So when I talk to people the get mad becaue they say shut up you don't need to work out. So that is why having a blog who doens't talk back is nice.

So the other thing I am changing is my diet. I am going to try to eat better meals and not snack as much. My diet coke addiction will dcrease, but I WILL NOT STOP! I can't stop and I don't want to stop. So the chips and the sweedish fish are out the DOOR!! So please leave some encouragement for me to get through this weigh gain freakout!!

Overwhelmed.....

Being a teacher you take on a duty that I only teachers can understand. I leave my job everyday with this weight on my shoulders and I wonder if that will ever go away. I have always been someone who is dedicated to their job but I have always been someone who hates doing things half ass. This past few days I have felt I have been givng my kids half ass because of all the OTHER stuff we have to do. ALP is an afterschool program that kids are put in if they are low and you don't think will pass the EOG. I have decided to do work ALP which means every tues and thurs till five. Its like an extended school day. Since deciding to do this I have thought more about ALP then I have my own class. I have been planning for that and not thought about my day with 21 kids. Its sad, a teacher said today that if we had time to plan for our own class we wouldn't need ALP. I think thats true, if we were just able to do our own darn job we wouldn't have to have kids be put in an afterschool program. I really am overwhelmed. I feel this way because I love my JOB!! I hate this feeling that I can't do my job and that is the hardest part. I know all the teachers feel this way and that teachers have said this for YEARS!! I def think that as a teacher I just hope in years to come things will get better. I know what I need to do and hope that I will be able to my job some day.

been awhile

The new year has come! This past year has been a long but fast one. Things are going really well. Stella got her woman parts removed which makes her an it. I still love her though.

The house is going great. We went to a struggling artist show today and got some painting for the downstairs. I am so excited to hang them and make this place look a little more pretty. I love getting things for the house!! Matts hates spending the money but its ok cause in the end he loves it.

School is going great! I have a great class and I am really feeling good about this year. Not sure how effective I am and if my kids will pass the EOG but I am doing all that I can. I really don't know if they will grow but I do know that my kids love learning and I love teaching them. Some days are harder then others but my kids are really good. I hate the state of NC but theres nothing I can do to change their rules. OUr children have to learn so much in math its impossible to get it all taught WELL.

well thats all for now. back to cleaning the house and taking STella for a walk.