Reader Beware You're in for a Scare!! (labor story)

Well if you don't know already Tillman Alexander has made his way into the world!! I do have to say being a mom trumps everything. I can't describe it to someone who hasn't had a baby yet because these feelings can't be described in words. Tillman has made my heart complete and has filled me with so much it is undescribable. We are a family now and this feels like an out of body expeirience. I still look at him and can't believe he is mine. I walk by a mirror and stop because I just look at this little guy and know that I have created such an amazing thing.

Well I am not a modest person so this post will probably gross many out or will make you look at me in a different light if you aren't very close to me but I want to remember this day forever! I also want to share because it was hard work and I want people to know that I will do anything for my son. ;) So here is the story of Tillman Alexander.

We checked in the hospital at 5:00 pm. We were hooked up to Pitocin by 6:30 and he broke my water then as well. I progressed super and then around 9 pm contractions were back to back every minute and so I asked for the epidural. That was the best thing ever!! I really felt great but the epidural stopped my contractions so she stopped the pitocin to see if starting me on it a little later would kick start them again. So around 12:00 she checked me and I was 7cm which means my body was contracting on its own. So we kept going and around 1:30ish the epidural stopped working on my left side. I could feel every contraction on the left side. It was intense!!! Then finally around 3:00 she checked me and I was 10cm. We started to push and everything was going well. Then around 4:45 we realized Tilley wasn't going to move any farther..so the nurse called the doctor in and we talked options. I asked him to try the vacum first. So we contracted and he tried but it kept coming off his head. Then we had to decide should I get an episiotomy or a c section. I opted for the epis. which he shared with me would be a level 4. Not to sound graphic but they call this a vaginal c-section because they cut all the way straight down. After he cut I pushed some more with no luck. So the last step before a c-section was forceps. My doctor was older and he assured me that he had a lot of expierience with forceps so it would be ok. I was determined to get him out so with all my might I pushed one good last push and with the forceps Tilley entered the world at 5:13 am. He was plopped on my chest and the first thought I had was OMG he is a heavy baby!!! The second thought was OMG he looks just like Matt!:) So needless to say they swooped him off my chest and took him to the warmer where the NICU checked him out since he had the forceps. Then Matt held him the entired hour that they stitched me up! He had to really work to get all the tears that this little guy did to me stitched up. After an hour or stitching they handed me my son and I just lost it. It was one of those moments in life where I was so overwhelmed with love and other emotions that I just felt like I was floating!! He was so beautiful and perfect!! He didn't cry when they were taking care of him and I kept asking is he ok is he ok!!

Even though his birth story is a gory one I would do it ten million times over as long as he ends in my arms!! We have such a happy baby who loves life. He doesn't cry and he loves to look around the room and see all of us. I am so in love!!!

One more day of just ME! Tomorrow I become an US!

It is such an odd feeling sitting here on the couch thinking about tomorrow. Tomorrow marks the day I am no longer just a ME but an US! Tomorrow I become a MOM! I sit here thinking about all the emotions and the rollercoaster that I will experience tomorrow and I get gitty! When people ask about me after tomorrow they will always include Tillman in that question. When people think about Matt and I they will think of us as a family of three. Tomorrow my husband and I reach a new level of love I hear! Tomorrow my husband becomes the father of my son! Tomorrow my son will be born! Can you belive it? I can't!!!! I am so amazed right now I can't get my thoughts together to get anything done. I am just sitting here feeling him move around and think about tomorrow I get to kiss those toes, tomorrow I get to count those fingers, tomorrow I get to hold this baby that is ALL mine! (Matt laughed and said he would remind me that he is ALL mine when he has a poopy diaper or crying at 3am in the morning;) ) I am so excited about having my family and friends around me to celebrate this little life that is coming into the world! I can't wait to call everyone after he is born and share his story! I have waited for this day for nine months, but in my heart really my whole life. I truely belive that this is the most amazing gift I could ever ask for.

Well Matt and I are struggling with something. Rex only allows three people in the room. Matt is number one, my mom is number two and then the third spot we were going to leave vacant since we couldn't choose between all of our family. Then as we thought more about this day we really wanted someone there to JUST take pictures. Someone who will caputre this whole day and will just stand back to video tape and take pictures of us and Tillman in those most memorable moments. So we thought and thought about who could do this and we both felt comfortable with Matt's sister Katie. We asked and she was honored to be there. We were elated and ready to go for Friday. Well yesterday she was sharing with her dad about being in the room to take pictures and he told her that Matt's mom was planning on being in the room. So now you can see what we are dealing with. We don't have another spot, but Katie's spot is elective so really she could be in the room but Matt and I both know that Paulette isn't really someone who can run a digital camera. We are torn!! We know she is sad she can't be there because Matt called her last night but we don't know what else to do! I know in the scheme of things this really isn't that big of a deal, but I know that having her in there may be a tad bit overwhelming. Matt and I decided that when we check in tomorrow we are going to ask and see if they would make an exception for his mom and if they will we will let her stay, but if not then she can come in right after he is born. So hopefully tomorrow goes well! :)

Tomorrow I am not longer just ME but US!

Overcooked!

I was never a very good cook. I do have to say through the four years of marriage I def. got better. :) Well my not so great chef skills must be passed to my son since he is now overcooked! :)

We went yesterday and stripped membranes and set an induction date. With that date came relaxation I haven't felt in weeks. I was able to think about other things yesterday and to be honest I was excited about being pregnant again. I was able to sit on the couch and just feel him move around and not feel resentment for him being inside and not outside. Ironicly this probably isn't helping getting him out before Friday since I didn't have a single contraction yesterday.

Well this blog has always been a place to share my thoughts and this is one of them I feel I need to share. Since I am so relaxed my brain has started to think about other things. Matt and I have been talking a lot lately about Tillman's name. Now I know this is going to prompt many people to want to leave advice or oppinions but with hormones I don't know how much I can handle so be nice. We decided around Christmas time to name our son Tillman Riddle. That is Matt's full grandpa's name. He really wanted the full name and so we set that as his name. I was ok with it but I always felt that Tillman wouldn't have a more commone name to use if he ever wanted to be called something else. I also felt a little sad because I didn't have input on the name. As months went by I didn't think about it and fell in love with the name Tillman. He is my little Tilley and that will never change. Well Matt kept asking was I ok with Riddle. Every time I would share with him about how I felt that he needed a name that was more common incase he wanted to use it as he was older. Matt's dad is Tillman Dale which allows for him to be called Dale instead of Tillman. So this prompted us to talk a lot latley about his middle name and whether or not we want to keep it Riddle. If it stays Riddle he won't have his own name, it will always be his grandpas name. I want him to have a name that is all his. We are at this crossroad that I think many parents come to because naming your child is very intense. You want to make it something great! If we were to change it now that our son is overcooked I am not sure how our family would feel. I know that in end it is our decision and I promise we will decide on his name because we love the name, not because of what we wrote on a babyshower invite or because we know our family may not agree but I want my family to love his name as well. Being that this decision was made so long ago I know it will be intense for us to change it. I am worried that my step mom has made something already with Riddle as his middle name. I know that his parents really wanted us to be sure that Riddle would be his middle name before we sent baby shower invites. I know that in the end it won't be easy. I really don't know what to do right now. It is one of the hardest things we have done so far as parents but I feel in the end if we just decide to use Riddle because it is easier then Matt and I will regret it in the end. We are going to wait and see the little guy before we decide the middle name. We may keep it Riddle in the end but I want to have the option to not keep it Riddle if we decide on something else. Our son Tillman deserves the best name in the world and I don't want to make this decision without taking the time to think long and hard on it.

Like I said this is going to open up people and I know that people will have feelings both ways but remember that I am an overcooked pregnant woman and hormones can be very violent at times.:) Be nice!

Today is my due date!!

Well I have to say that this morning I was very blue. I just couldn't shake the fact that I hadn't had him yet. I went to the doctor and he stripped my membrane which by the way didn't hurt at all. He said that some women can go into labor 24 hours later. Cross your fingers I am that woman! After he did that we talked about the plan from here and he said we could induce Friday or we could wait till Monday and set a date. I told him to go ahead Friday and then if he comes before then it will be great! I don't really want to be induced but I also can't be pregnant much longer! I really want to have this sweet boy and the more time he spends inside the less time I get with him on the outside. My summer isn't getting any longer! So having this little light at the end of the tunnel is what I think has changed my mood. I am so relaxed now and the funny thing is I haven't really had a contraction all day. (which stinks because I want them to kick in) but I think because I am not stressing over when he is coming my body has calmed down. So we shall see but I know that in the end I will get to meet my little boy by Friday!! Fingers crossed he wants to come earlier!!

One Day Away

Last night Matt and I were talking about Tillman and how we are so ready for him! We were saying that it would be so neat if he was born on his due date since that is kinda rare! Then we were talking about how this is the end of a long awaited journey!

Last night I was laying in bed thinking about how excited I am to meet this little guy but also how much this phase in my life is almost over. As a woman you think alot about being pregnant. I remember always being amazed at woman and how their body looked being pregnant. I have wanted this for so long and it is almost over. I know that my dear friends are tired of me complaining about wanting him to get here. I know that they were excited school was over so they didn't have to listen to me complain and they would all say I would miss this when it is gone. I had that feeling last night that I am sad he will be on the outside in only a few short days. The protection I give him now can only be given by me. When he is on the outside there are so many things that can get to him. This is the begining of a life that I hope will turn into an amazing young man. During pregnancy you are so excited about being pregnant and all the milestones you reach you don't have time to think about the baby when they are out in this world. Last night laying on the couch I hadn't moved from all day all I could think about was his future and raising this amazing child. I started to freak myself out about whether or not I will know what to do and will I be a good mother. Will he know how much I love him even when I get frusterated or annoyed with life? Will he be resepctful to other and love his future wife the way his father loves me? Will he treat his friends with love and compassion and still have a spice for life?

With all this complaing about wanting him out and and the constant annoyance of this belly, I am starting to wonder can I do this? This is the end of a journey but the begining of a new amazing journey! I feel like this post doesn't make any sense and it probably doesn't but I am in the mood to type and it is early on a Sunday morning.

Well we got a good phone call yesterday, Matt's mom called to say that Matt and Katie were NOT ten pounds almost 11 they were both around the 9 pound mark!! That made my day because I am so worried Tillman is going to be HUGE and I don't think I would push out a ten pound baby! Hopefully he will be around 8 pounds. That would be nice!

Well my BH contractions are getting stronger and having a lot more than normal. I also have this constant pain flooding over my abdomen which won't go away. Laura said yesterday that I have convinced myself I am not going to go into labor naturally that I won't know when I am in labor. I think she is right. There are so many different things that happen to your body how do you know when it is the true thing? Also I was thinking about this yesterday when my contractions were coming back to back, if I were to call the doctor and go into Labor and Delivery and be sent home I would be so embarrassed that I don't think I could make myself go back until he was half way out!!! We shall see...if my water broke it would make things a lot easier!!!

2 days away!

It is a very odd feeling sitting on the couch two days away from my due date. For nine straight months I sat here wishing this day would come and now it is almost here and I still haven't had this little guy. I know may FTM go a week over but my heart is starting to get sad because I want him here so bad. I know when I go Monday they will tell me I have one more week to wait and then they will induce me. I have a feeling that he is going to need some persuasion to come out. My body is doing many things to get ready but he doesn't seem to want to budge. I am also growing each week which makes these ugly stretch marks bigger and bigger. No more two piece bathing suits for me! It is also hard when everyone asks when is he coming out. It makes me want to cry. Matt keeps asking and I know he isn't doing it to be mean but I am so tired of it because I want him out just as bad as he does. It is really hard to be positive about this last part when everythin hurts, you feel fat as a cow, you can't pee without pain or eat with out pain, your feet are swollen and when you walk you feel like you have to pee with every step. The other hard part is I sweat really bad as a person. Being pregnant and these hot days it has increased a lot. Well I sweat so bad my underwear are soaked which makes you ponder the thought...did my water break! Do you know how embarrassing it would be to call your doctor and say I think my water broke and in reality you just sweated a ton. Yea so needless to say the next few days I don't think I am going to be a pleasant person to be around. I feel bad for being bitchy and my dad always taught me if you complain about something you better do something about it. I can't do anything about this which makes the complaing even worse! I really want to be positive but I think I have hit my limit. I am really glad we aren't planning on any more kids for at least 4 years!!!

Still pregnant!

So this week marks week 38. Oh Joy!! Can you hear the sarcasim in my voice. Last night was the first real time where I thought I might be in labor. As you can see I wasn't. This labor thing is so darn confusing and I wish it was cut and dry. I drank some water and went to bed and everything was ok. I really wanted it to be labor. I was so bummed when it stopped. A friend of mine gave birth today to her son and she was due a week after me. NOT FAIR! I know Tillman is very comfortable and wants to hang out some more but I really wish he would decide to make his way out! I want to hold him and see him instead of feel him and push back his kicks. My hips really want him out since they continue to look like a old home with ivy growing on it. My veins and stretch marks are making for a very neat pattern going up my sides.

This weekend I wanted to go to the pool but really didn't want to wear a bathing suit with all the veins and stretch marks going up my legs, hips and back. At least the ones on my butt you can't see. I went to lay out in the backyard and Matt was helping carry the chair downstairs and he said as we walked down "It is probably a good idea you didn't go to the pool, you don't wan to scare all those kids with your veiny butt!" Don't you just love them!

Well I am off to run a mile, do twenty jumping jacks, eat an entire pineapple and then 30 squats!! Hope this works!

What we do for our children!

So this pregnancy started out wonderful. I didn't gain a lot of weight, no stretch marks and I felt cute. 37 weeks and counting and I am so not cute anymore. I have more purple stretch marks from my lower back to behind my knees I can't count them all. I have vericose veins trailing down my bum to behind my knees. My "love handles" have become railings instead of handles. My double chin is starting to petrude past the first chin. I am so not happy with this.

When I went to the doc yesterday he was a little worried about the fact that I keep gaining weight each week. I mean 2-3 pounds a week. If I keep this up I will be 180 before my son gets here! I am so not happy! I really don't feel that I am eating a ton more than before. I think the emotions start to come out when I have to get dressed in the morning and nothing fits. It makes my day start off bad. Today I wanted to take the dog for walk and I couldn't even fit into my husbands bball shorts because I am to damn big!

Well the doc did have good news. I am now 90 percent effaced which is a good sign. Again I can stay like this for three more weeks or I can go into labor tonight. I am hoping for the tonight part because I am ready to pull my eyelashes out at school. I really am done with my children and over them. School is getting harder and harder because I don't have the tolerance I should. I know that I need to calm down or my BP will explode but I am just plain DONE!

I still haven't packed my bag because I have no idea what to put in it and I feel I will get my hopes up for nothing. We are putting the carseat in the car this weekend which is exciting but also a tease because he isn't here yet! I wish I knew when he would come.

Doc said he is kinda turned a funny way. His head is down but his back is facing my left side and his face is facing my right side. So he is kinda sideways which means his shoulders will come out in a very painful way. I am hoping that he shifts a little and gets himself in the right place because I don't know if I can do that. He is also on the bigger weight side so I know he will be a big baby! We shall see!

Phone List A and B

So I am starting the phone list of people that want "the call!" I have two lists. One list is for people that want to be called before he is born. Meaning they want to be called as labor is progressing. This list is also two parts, because there are those that want to be called at any hour of the day and the others that want the phone call to come after sunrise ;)! Then list B is for those who want to be called when he has made is arrival. Below is list A that has people who want the anytime call. If you want to be added to any of the lists please facebook or leave a comment and you will be added to the lists! :) I don't want to leave anyone out but I also don't want to call someone who is in a deep somber and could care less that I am screaming my lungs out in LD. ;)

List A (anytime)

Nancy (if Matt is out of town ;) )
Mom & Tom
Paulette & Dale
Dad & Jenny
Katie & Chris
Becca
James & Kath

All good things come to those who wait....whoever said that wasn't pregnant!

So I hit 37 weeks tommorrow and I am done. I loved the begining part of pregnancy and being pregnant for the first time was a blessing. Right now, I am ready to be ME again. I want to be able to roll over without a grunt, or walk without a wadle, to eat without burping (wait I did that before ;))! I want to be able to not have to pee every three minutes, I want to wear normal clothes again and not feel like a frumpy person in my husbands t-shirts. I want to hold this little guy that is doing leg extentions on my stomach. I want to see his little hands that keeping jabbing my belly button. I want to see the little butt that keeps sticking out of my side. All of these emotions are hard to contain when you are 9 months pregnant. This journey has been amazing and I have been so blessed. As far as pregnancy goes I was a lucky one. I was blessed with such a smooth 9 month ride. All the things that are "annoying" right now are so small compared to what we will have in three short weeks! I think this is the worst wait I have ever had to sit through. I remember when I was 12 and I was kicked by my horse and went to the ER. I had to sit on a stretcher for two hours because the ER was so packed. I remember sitting there thinking that was the LONGEST two hours of my life. I remember thinking that if I ever had to wait that "long" again I would die! I do have to say this past week has trumped that two hour wait. Up to this point the wait hasn't been bad because I wanted him to stay in there to cook. Now I want him out! I want to meet him and I can wish that because we have hit the buzzer! He is finished cooking, now he is just cooling off. This wait is KILLLING ME!! I sit in our recliner while he does kung fu on my insides and I just keep telling him that it would be more fun to be on the outside. I know that these three weeks will go by and when he is ready he will make his debute and all I will write about is how I want to stop time. So I am trying to remind myself that all good things come to those who wait!!!

Birthing Expert

So yesterday we spent the day at Rex at our "preparing for childbirth" class. It was interesting to say the least. No we didn't watch a birth on video like everyone thinks. We just talked about the stages of labor, what positions help relax and reduce the pain, what to expect and took a tour of the labor and delivery ward. It was fun to talk with moms that are in the same boat as you. There were lots of young couples ready and eager like us.

The funniest part was when we were taking our tour, there was a lady in labor about to give birth and she was SCREAMING her lungs off! We all walked by and laughed but got chills at the same time. We knew we would be there in a few weeks and it just made it more real. The nurse walked by and said ignore the sound effects! We all laughed, but when we walked back by her room she was done, so at least it didn't last too long.

Also here is a much anticipated picture of my 36 expanding waist line. I do have to say up to the last few weeks this pregnancy has been amazing! I have really loved every moment and felt good about my body image. That went to hell in the past three weeks. This has been the worst part and as time goes on I get more and more sad because of how my body is changing. Things are happening that I know wont go back. Stretch marks are appearing daily, and the scale keeps rising weekly. My abdomen hurts all the time and my butt is sore from sitting for only a few moments. Being that I have always been someone who hasn't had to worry about being petite, I am now trying hard to get myself prepared for the long journey ahead to get myself back into somewhat of a good shape. I know that I will lose some weight when he is born, but in the mirror I know most of what I am gaining now isn't him by fat on me. :( It all comes with the territory, which I signed on for nine months ago! I know in the end when he is here it will all be worth it and the idea of my body image will hopefully be only a faint dream!

Newborn Photos

So this week my sweet hubby bought me a package for new born photos for our sweet boy. Many people laugh, snicker, roll their eyes a the thought of have a prof. come in and take pictures of a two week old but for me it means the world. I love photos, I am not good at getting them printed but I have thousands in my computer/jumpdrive. Two years ago my sweet husband bought me a nikon camera for my addiction. I really wanted it because I knew when we started to add a little one to the mix we wouldnt want to spend that kind of money. I have researched and researched for the right person and I think I found her. She was running a special which of course helped sway my decision but she also had beautiful photos on her website. I signed the agreement and now we are just waiting. I think I am most excited about getting a family photo to enlarge and put over the stairs. I have wanted one for a few years but Matt wont ever have his picture taken. This is the perfect time. When Tilley gets here I swear I am going to have to buy a brand new computer just to hold all the photos. My house will be filled with frames of his sweet face, toes, fingers, belly and most of all his smile. I can't wait to have him here!! Here web address is http://www.christyjohnson.com/

School Baby Shower

I am so blessed to work at such an amazing place! My team threw me and another teacher a baby shower!! It was so beautiful and so many people came!! I loved having all of our friends around celebrating Tilley and soon arrival!

Little brother is growing up!!

So last weekend I went to ECU to watch the little brother walk across the big stage!! It was so bittersweet because I am so proud of him but I am also so sad how much we have grown up and how our lives are moving forward!! I really love him so much and want everything for him, but keeping him young in my mind makes me feel that time isn't going by so fast!!! I also got to meet his Fiances parent which was so much fun! They are getting married in October so I really wanted to meet them. We had so much fun at dinner and loved chatting about the upcoming event!! Love you two so very much!!

Waiting the arrival of Tilley!!

Here are the pictures of his finished nursery!! Can't wait till he gets here!!

35 weeks and 4 years

So Monday I went into the doctor because I was feeling pressure and pain. I was 1 cm dialated, 60% effaced and he was in -1 stage which means his head was there. She could feel it!! I was excited to hear this but then she made it very clear I could stay this way for six weeks. So here we are waiting for Tilley to get here. I am so tired and I hurt. I hope this is the part of pregnancy that you forget about because I wouldn't want to get pregnant again if I remembered this. :) My abdomen hurts really bad and I feel him sitting down there and I really just want him here. It doesn't help that I can feel him move and know our little guy is right there. I want him to be healthy when he comes so I don't want him to come till he is ready but I want him here so bad. I go back Monday which is exciting! I hope that these contractions that I feel are helping me out some more.

Well today marks our four year annv.! I am so excited because I am married to a very amazing man. He is getting newborn pictures taken of Tilley for our annv. That is what I really wanted so he did good. His parents sent us to dinner on them so that was nice. We are going to our birthing class on Saturday so that is exciting. I really want to put the carseat in the car but it is still a little early. I think in about two weeks we will put it in there.

I hope to take pictures of the nursery this weekend and post them. We have everything ready except for the sweet boy to get here!

Weekend Happenings

Well this weekend we were so blessed! Friday at school my team gave us a beautiful shower. They invited the entire school and we were so blessed with so many great things. I couldn't belive how loved our little man is! Then Saturday my sweet aunt held a shower at our house for Matt's friends and all of my friends and family. It was so great to see everyone and we had a blast. We even had blue JELLO shots! (Not me of course!) Tilley was blessed again with so many great things. Once I get the pictures from everyone I will post them. My camera batteries were dead.

Well today we went to Babies R Us to buy the rest of the the things we needed for the T Man. It was so much fun but I was in a funk so I felt bad. It was hard spending that much money but we know our little man is worth the extra careful saving we will be doing the next few months. He is spoiled rotten!!

Next weekend we are going down to Concord to visit with family, attend a baby shower, 80th suprise bday party and then off to see my dad and Jenny. It is going to be a fun weekend.

So can I say that being pregnant has its ups and downs. Don't get me wrong I have wished for this for so long but there are moments where my hormones take over and I can't seem to get over it. He is getting so big and my right ribs are so sore. It hurts to sit because I have spider veins on my toosh and they hurt so bad. It is hard to sleep because he moves when he doesn't like the way I am laying and then when I find a good spot he gets excited and plays around. I want to be able to feel comfortable again. I love this little guy so much and would never wish he come early because I know he has to bake awhile but I can see how God makes this process the way he does because he wants us ready for this little life that we are bringing into the world! I am so ready to meet him. Now that he has everything in his room I am even more anxiouse to meet him!

Just a thought...

So I was sitting on the couch this morning working on interims and it hit me. I am counting down till the EOG. It dawned on me that when the third grade finishes their three days of the EOG, I will be a month away from meeting our little man. That is insane!! I started to get giddy and had chills down my arm. It is hard when I see a little baby to not be jealous because I want so badly to meet Tilley! Only a month and a half to go!

What do they expect?!!!

So we found out a few days ago that the state of NC has moved the EOG up a week. As teachers this is very frustrating because of the fact that we teach all the way up to the EOG. Then after the EOG since we were supposed to have the curriculum taught, we have nothing to really do.

The biggest headache of this move is that our children are not going to be as prepared as we would like for them to be. Yes, yes I know it was only a three day move but those three days are crucial for review and for our kids to "get their head in the game". It is just frustrating because it means we will have five weeks after the EOG to sit around and "find things to teach" since all our math and reading should have been taught before the EOG. You can't teach writing, science, and social studies for four hours a day.

I am being a tad but dramatic about this but I want my point to get across. What do we value more in this state, education and the true aspect of learning the curriculum or testing? Obviously the testing has won this time. I wish the value of learning was higher then the value of testing.

So as we sit here 19 days away from the EOG I am trying my best to prepare my children. We are practicing and practicing for the EOG. We are reading and re reading questions that they will see. We are talking about how to answer the questions. We are working on strategies to help us answer the questions. Is this learning....not really. Am I doing hands on inquiry based lesson....not really. Are my children tired of all this EOG talk...sure are. It is sad that education has come to this.

I just hope when Tilley and his children come around to third grade, there will be a better way then what we are doing now.

31 weeks and stuff....

Well I have nothing inparticular to say but there are a bunch of little things to update one.

Last Saturday I had my second shower which was super! We had a lot of people come and it was so nice to see people I haven't seen in years. We got many presents and Tilley is much loved. We couldn't wait to go home and set everything up.

We spend a week at Myrtle Beach with the family. This was a nice relaxing trip. The weather was a little chilly but it was nice to get away. We wen't to the Carter outlet and bought some cute outfits for when he gets bigger. Nothing we bought was under nine months because we already have SOOOOO many NB clothes.

Well my mom and I were talking the other day and she shared with me that her friend works for Britax. For the non baby people out there, this is a very nice carseat company. Matt and I had already decided on a carseat from Britax so we have saved all our giftcards till we had enough to go ahead and buy it. The carseat in the stores that we wanted was 330. Well mom told us that her friend can get the carseat for 100. I WAS SO EXCITED!! We called him to make sure he could get the one we wanted and he could. We have to return our seat this weekend that we bought and the one he is getting for us will come in soon!! I am so excited because this saves us 200 dollars!! What a blessing for us because we have many things still on our registry that we need to get which means the gift cards we have saved from this car seat can go to something else!

Well I have hit 31 weeks. Someone asked today am I getting sick of being pregnant and I said yes but I would say I am getting sick of it. I am just ready to meet him and have him to hold. Things are getting harder such as bending over, getting comfortable, sitting in chairs for long periods of time. The drive to the beach was so hard because I was in so much pain. He is getting bigger and bigger and I know he is getting tight in there which means that his movements are felt all over. I am also anxious to meet him. I want to hold him and I want to see his little face with his little personality!

Pray for us this week because we may have some exciting news come Friday!! I can't say anymore but just know that this is what we have been praying for, FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS!!!!

Well I am off to write in Tilley's journal that I have started. I have not been really good about writing in it but I really want him to have something from me when he gets older!

29 Weeks

Ok so I have been horrible updating each week or so but 29 weeks is such a OMG moment for me. I am one week away from 30 which means I am so close to having this sweet boy in my arms! The above picture is of me and my long time friend Laura. She is eighteen weeks pregnant but would have never thought we would be pregnant at the same time. She is due in September and she finds out April 17th what she is having!

29 weeks is such a long time from when this all started. Matt and I were talking in the car about the day we found out and all the things that have gone on since we found out. Tilly hopefully someday will know how much he is loved by his dad and I. I hope one day he can sit back and read some of the letters I have written and know way before he even got here he was loved by so many people. I am starting to get really excited about him getting here. The selfish part of me can't wait because even though he will love everyone that is around, I am the person he will need the most. I am the person that will be able to comfort him and give him what he needs when he needs it the most. I can't wait to see his face and find out who he looks more like.

We are going to have to wait awhile before the second one comes because of daycare, so I am trying to cherish every moment. I want to remember it all so that it will hold me till the second one. I am excited about having to wait a little because I couldn't imagine have two really close together. My mom said when she got pregnant with my brother she couldn't imagine loving another person as much as she loved me. When he was born she saw that she could but I think the same thing all the time. I don't want Tilly to be shorted any love because we decide to have a second one. It amazes me to see moms with more then one that are close in age because the love both their children the equally and are amazing moms. I hope I can handle one, and then we will think about a second one! :)

Baby Shower 1

So this past Saturday my sweet sweet friends Jodi and Courtney threw Tilly the best shower ever! We had so much fun, and it was great catching up with some old friends! Tilly got some many great things and it made it more real that he is coming in three months!

Our couches came in Saturday as well, and let me tell you they are GREAT!! My butt has never been happier! I really love to just sit and rock in them. I fell asleep in them last night which says a lot! I can't wait till the Tillyman gets here so I can rock him to sleep while sitting in them. Stella is not allowed on these couches so we are trying to train her to stay off. I feel bad since she doesn't understand why we used to let her and now we don't but I know it is the best for everyone. When he gets here I don't want her to think she can jump up and be around people while they are trying to hold him. So we will see how it goes!

Next Saturday is shower number 2. My SIL and MIL and her family are throwing Tilly a shower. I can't wait because I will get to see so many people that Ihaven't seen in years. Also it is at ten so we get to eat BREAKFAST food so I am really excited about that!! The best part though is after the shower we are getting in the car and driving the Myrtle Beach to spend a week on vacation. We are going with Matt's family so it will be a lot of fun. It won't be super hot, but I hope it will be sunny enough to lay out. I just want to relax and read a few books. We will probably go out to eat a lot and just relax! I really need this break!

Proud to Be NCAE

Well this year has been one for the books. I have learned a lot this school year but I have also had my days where I don't know what else to do. I have had to sit back and reflect on myself a ton this year! I really love teaching, this year had made me really think about how I do my job.

Well today I attened our annual NCAE convention. This organization is a passion of mine. As a teacher we fight each and every day to be treated as a professional. This organization is our voice as educators. Three years ago my AP at the time roped me into this amazing organization and I have been hooked since. What NCAE does is fight for teacher rights and gives teachers a voice. Of course you have to pay to be a member but it is worth every dime you pay. There are many teachers who aren't members and it stings to think about them. As our president says, "They ride on our hard working coat tails!!" It is true, because of our hard work and money we get some of the things we fight for, but the teachers who aren't members and who aren't there helping fight for these things get to reep the benifits as if they had.

Today was convention day which is always fun! You get to meet many cool people and you also get pumped about teaching. I really love my job but I have my days. This convention always gets my heart ready to enter the classroom and do all that I need to, to get these children ready! We get to go back tomorrow which is exciting! I love what I do and I am VERY PROUD TO BE NCAE!!!!

Nursery Finished!!

My dad and brother drew this mural on the wall based off of the bedding. I really wanted this done, so when it was finished I was so excited!! Enjoy the pictures. Make sure though when you come to the house you can't get to close. ;)

Tilly in 3D

Well Saturday we went out to a place in Cary that does 3D ultrasounds. I was so excited because at my doctors office the lady isn't really nice. This place we went to http://www.triangle4dbaby.com/facilities.html was amazing! They were so nice and made you feel very welcome! My dad, Jenny, James, and Kath came with Matt and I. It was so special. He was so funny on the screen. He would scowl his eyebrows. He would smile and take in breaths. He would not for the life of us move his arm down below his head. It was neat because the way he his laying is why I feel him so much. The lady also said that if I hadn't told her that I was 27 weeks 5 days she would have thought he was 30 weeks because of how chubby his face was. I then asked does that mean I will have a big baby or am I furhter along then I thought I was. She said most likely a big baby! :) I was tiny as a baby, but Matt was 10 pounds!! We might have to have a talk with the doctor ;). Well we were able to get the whole thing on a video for all the other family to get to see. He is head down which is good. The best part was when she was looking around at his head she said you see all that lumpiness on his head. Well it turns out our son is going to have a FULL head of hair. She said they don't really start growing hair until about 26 weeks and she said that our son has tons of hair already. She must have said it four times throughout the whole thing. I laughed so hard because I have been having this pain, not sure what it was...come to find out it was heartburn. So the old wives tale for us is true!! I am so excited to meet our little guy. She took over 60 pictures so I will only opload a few!

Shhh...

So I am like a little kid at Christmas! My dad and Jenny, my brother and his fiance are coming this weekend to visit. Matt and I stewed about what we could do with them. I was online two weeks ago and I found this 3D/4D place in Cary that does ultrasounds for recreational purposes. I ironically said to Matt, it would be so neat if dad and Jenny could go with us. Well...while I was looking at their site I found out they had SATURDAY hours!! My heart was so excited!! So we call for an appointment and they had one for this Saturday! I can't contain myself. So we decided to suprise them when they got here. We told them we had lunch reservations and they needed to be here by 12:00. I couldn't call them all week because I was worried I would spill the beans. I can't wait for them to get here. I am also so excited to finally see a good picture of the little man growing inside me. Our last ultrasound was great because we found out if it was a boy or girl but the woman was so mean and cold. She didn't even try and get any good shots of his face or body. She just wasn't nice at all. This will be the first time to really get a good look at our little boy! I also want to see what position he is in and how big he is! I will def. post pictures on Sunday! I PROMISE!!

Low Iron, Stretch Marks, Braxton Hicks, and Couches

Well I had my week 26 doctors appointment Friday. They did the glucose test which I will hear about Monday or Tuesday. They also checked my iron and I was low. She said that is why I have probably felt really tired lately. Which was so true!! I thought it was because of all the work we have been doing around the house. So I taking iron pills to try and get my iron up. She also said to eat more meat. It is hard when matt is gone all week I don't eat the best dinners. Weight gain was good. Heartbeat was at 150 which is what it has been the entire time. I go back in two weeks for my RH shot. Then I go back every two weeks till he gets here! THAT IS INSANE!! I go ever two weeks, as my friend Laura said....im not ready!! We have so much to do and the house is a mess!!

Well I found my first two stretch marks. They are right above my hip bone on each side. I had one on each side already from highschool and I grew to quickly. Those I could hide with a bathing suit. These I don't think I can. I have piled on the lotion this weekend. That is the one thing I really really don't want. I know it comes with being pregnant but I am going to do everything to help prevent them. I know there isn't really a cure but I am hoping I can minimize them.

Well the past three weeks I have started to feel braxton hicks contractions. They started soft but now that he is bigger they are getting harder and harder. Most of the time it is when I lay down on my back. Yesterday we were out most of the day and I felt them as I walked around. As much as it has made things uncomfortable, such going pee and having a BH contraction isn't fun, it is the neatest thing to think in a short few weeks our son will be here.

Matt is still waiting for a phone call on a job here in Raleigh. I pray each night that Gods plan for us is fullfilled. I know that he has a plan and we have to trust him. This past year and few months has shown me that I need to try harder to trust him. This job is another example of us trusting in him and knowing he knows best.

Well the past month we have been stewing on the idea of a glider in Tilly's nursery. WE were going to have to purchase one and they aren't cheap. The more I thought about it the more I thought that I wouldn't be in his room much by myself nursing him. I most likely would be in my room or downstairs. I know it might happen in his room but not enough to shell out that much money for a chair. Then after I was done nursing him, what would the chair be used for. Matt would never let it our living room so it would just sit in his room and eventually be sold. So we had the idea of getting a recliner for our living room that way we could use it after all the nursing but it would also serve the rocking purpose. The past few weeks we have sat in many recliners and haven't found anything we liked. Well in our outings we talked about the idea of getting a couch with a recliner. Now I know we have a couch already but anybody will tell you it isn't the most comfortable. I have to bring down my body pillow and another pillow to sit on it longer then five min. It has some stains on it that we have tried to get out. So while we were looking around we found a couch and love seat that had recliners built in and in the love seat you could rock while someone is reclined or just sitting. So yesterday we took the plung and bought the new couches. I am so excited!! My butt can't wait!! We are going to try and sell our couch on craigslist to make a little bit of money since we don't need it anymore. So enjoy the pictures!!We didn't get the individual recliner. Our room isn't big enough for that. We have four recliners so I think that will be enough.

Nursery part 1

So this past weekend Matt and I spen the entire weekend painting. We were so excited about getting this project done! We didn't think when we set out to paint stripes we would have to be all mathematical! I really wanted the stripes so we didn't give up but it didn't help our house isn't level. All in all things turned out great! I love the room!! I can't wait to get everything put together. Enojoy the pictures below.





Well I go tomorrow for my glucose test. I am hoping I pass but I haven't done a good job about not eating sweets this week. I can't stop eating fruit and the sugar in fruit isn't going to help much. I also have had way to much candy and soda this past week. If I pass I will be suprised. Jennifer says that those things don't really effect it...I hope not!!

Well I got in the mail today my shower invitation for my shower on the 4th. It amazes me how time flies and how much Tilly is growing. I can't wait till he gets here. I have a shower on the 28th and I can't wait to see all my girlfriends.

The picture below is me at 26 weeks. I feel like a blimp but I know it is all Tilly and his warm cozy home!

Holey Cow...6 Months

So as I was sitting at Nancy's table today it dawned on me...I am two weeks away from being 7 months pregnant. I am amazed at how time has flown by. Even though it seems so fast, I feel like I have been pregnant for a really long time. Tilly is growing so much in the past few days. Matt is amazed each weekend when he comes home how much my belly has enlarged. :) Tilly has also started to move around more consistently and it has been so fun to watch my belly move in waves. I can really feel him rolling and tumbling in there.

Being pregnant is one of those thoughts you think about your whole life. I would always wonder how it would feel? How would my body change? How does it know how to do all this? What is it like having a living thing move around on your insides? I am amazed each day with this little guy. I was always worried about not being maternal, but this past month it has really hit me. I can't wait to hold this little guy!

Life overall is going good. Matt and I are starting to prepare for the obvious and that is he will most likely be working in VA when Tilly gets here. We have started to talk with family about being able to stay up here and be with me for the first few months while Matt is gone. We have talked about setting up times where I will have someone with me so that I don't freak out. I am starting to worry about him being gone but I know that I can't prepare as much as I would like. Having him be gone is going to be hard but I know that right now for our family it is what we need.

Stella is going to start having a rude awaking. We are going to start to try and keep her off the couch because she doesn't know how to handle herself when she is on the couch. I am so worried when people come to visit us and Tilly she will be all over them. I don't want to have to worry about taking her out while someone is here trying to hold Tilly. Matt and I have talked a lot about a fence so hopefully come April we can get one installed. This will help out so much because we won't have to worry about her being in her pen and freaking out.

Well we have three showers planned for the next two months. I am really excited about them because I get to see all my dear friends who I haven't seen in forever! March 28th is the first one and that is will all my highschool/college friends. I can't wait to catch up and see everyone!! April 4th is my husbands side of the families shower. His aunts are throwing a shower for everyone on mine and his side of the family. The last one is the one at work that is on the 24th of April. I am excited about this one because Matt gets to come and meet some school friends he has only heard about. I can't wait to share the Tillyman with everyone!! Time is going by so fast.

The first week of April we are going to Mrytle Beach for spring break! I am excited because that means this is the last vacation before he gets here. I am worried about the four hour drive but other than that I am excited. It is with Matt's family so that is exciting! Hopefully we will go out on a date just Matt and I so we can have one last night out before he gets here!

This weekend I am hoping Matt will feel up to painting the nursery. We borrowed a peice of the bedding from a friend so we can get the exact colors. We are still unsure of what to do but hopefully we will figure it out before Saturday. I really really want my brother to draw a mural on the wall which I would paint it. There is a really cute monkey on the bedding and I would love for James to draw the mural right above the changing table. Something small so when he is older if he doesn't want it anymore, it would be a hassel to paint over.

Two weekends from now my parents are coming to visit. I am so excited because they will get to see the nursery. We are going to suprise them with a visit to a place that does 3D/4D ultrasounds. We are going to say we are going to lunch but show up at this place http://www.triangle4dbaby.com/facilities.html. I can't wait, my dad is going to be so excited!! I hope they are just as excited as we are about seeing Tilly on the ultrasound. They say by then he will have some baby fat so he will look the most like he will when he is born.

Holey cow that was a lot of writing. I will post pictures of the nursery this weekend if we end up painting!!

Going great!!

Well this week has been a great week! We got rid of the camaro which is a blessing. Tilly could not ride in the camaro because it doesn't fit a carseat so we had to get rid of it some point. We bought Matt a Civic which was really pretty and he was happy with it. Mark my words, this car will be Tilly's first car. It will live that long and our son will be able to drive it. :)

I am feeling really well this week. I guess it has to do with that my husband was in town most of this week and I will be going "home" for a spa weekend with my step mom. I can't wait!! It is much needed and I am so excited to spend the time with her. Tillyman will love it because he loves it when his mommy is happy. :)

I had a great weeked with two of my oldest and dearest friends. They came up and spent the night. We found a babyshower dress and some other cute clothes. We spent time laughing and having fun! It was so nice to see them and I can't wait till the end of March to see them again at the shower they are throwing.

Well I only gained 8 pounds total from the start of this pregnancy. I was worried I had gained a lot more but from what I read it should start packing on in the next few weeks. I just hope I don't get carried away with the eating.

Feeling Good!!

Well after a week like last week I was ready for a good week. This week has been ten times better. It is amazing how things are so different when you feel good and your kiddos are behaving. This week has gone well but I am worried about tomorrow.

I go tomorrow for another checkup and up until this point I haven't really gained any weight. Well the last four weeks I haven't really been all that good about eating healthy. I really have been craving nothing but salt and fried food. Well this morning the scale said 150. Which means I would have gained 8 pounds in four weeks which means I gained 2 pounds each week. I KNOW!! That is insane. I am really worried he is going to say something to me. I know I should stop eating but now I am eating even when I am not hungry. I need to watch it because I was doing so well and now I let myself go. I am going to try and workout and keep things moving so I can stay healthy.

I am really excited about my appointment though because I am going to ask him about my ears and headaches. My ears feel like they are filled to the brim with fluid. I can't seem to get them to pop. My headaches are getting bad and I hate taking medicine because I don't want to hurt Tilly. I know I can take it but I don't like it!! So hopefully he will have some answers for me.

Well Monday starts my countdown for my pregnancy massage that my daddy bought me. I can't wait till Saturday because I get a pedicure and manicure and a massage!! This will be one of the best weekends!! Much needed that is for sure!!

Well we have two of the three showers planned. My husbands side of the family is going to be April 4th. My girlfriends are throwing one on March 28th which is exciting because it will be all my friends from college and highschool. Some I haven't seen in years! I can't wait. The third one we are still trying to find a date that works!! I am so lucky to have such amazing friends and family. The Tillyman is so lucky to have so many people love him!!

Well I am off to bed to watch Grey's and get some sleep!!

Super Duper Weekend!

So this week has been a week from hell. Probably the hardest week pregnancy and school wise. With Matt gone all week I was having my own little pity party each night. It was really hard on him because he couldn't do anything to help me.

Well this weekend has been great! Saturday I slept all day!! I am seriouse. I woke up at 7:30 because of the body pillow Melanie lent me!! Which worked like a champ. Tillyman loved being able to be propped up and not have me move around all night. After waking up I ate breakfast and then watched TV all morning. At 12:00 I went back to bed and slept till three. Matt came home from his haircut I took a shower and we headed to the grocery store. After returning from the store I put my pj's back on and then went back to bed. I fell asleep at 6 and didn't wake again till 6 in the morning. It was so nice. I really needed that.

Today was great!! I was so pretty outide and I got so much done. I cleaned the house a little, put away the four baskets of clothes I had since two weeks ago, washed my car, went to the dog park and ate a sweet lunch with the husband. (He went and got bread, lettuce and tomatoe because I craved a BLT!!) He's the best!!

This was a much needed weekend because of the week I had. Being a teacher is hard, but when you really care about your kids and job it is even harder. I want so much for these kids to pass and be successful but I can only do so much.

This week will be hard as well because I have a crazy conference on Tuesday and rentention meeting on Wednesday! I know though after a great weekend I am coming in Monday with happy thoughts and love for these kiddos! Also this weather only helps a million times over!!

sad but grateful..

So as I sit here and type tears stream down my face. Kinda funny because why there are tears is a silly reason. I will try and explain. Each year the Hurricanes give Wake County tickets for teacher appreciation night. Each year I put our name in the pot and we have won the tickets. This year I was so excited because it means a free date night with my husband who I don't get to see often.

Well this week has been hell on wheels. Our job has so many hoops to jump through and with this growing belly of mine it gets harder each day. (get the analagy in there..:)) So when we won the tickets Monday it was a light in the day. Well today I called Matt and he was so excited about the game. We were talking about who would be there and how our two tickets were right beside Nancy and Andrew and how much fun this would be. Well as I sat eating my dinner greatful that tomorrow was wed. and that thursday was one day away...the news brought sad news.

The Canes would be in Canda for a three day game stretch! My brain started twitching and then it dawned on me...the tickets weren't for this thursday but for next thursday. To any anybody else this wouldn't be a big deal but for us it was. Matt can't come home next thursday because he is taking a class and wont be home till Saturday.

So as I sit there comtemplating a way around this my heart just began to melt. Hormones took over. I was so sad because I knew how excited was for this game. I knew how excited I was. This SUCKS!! I really am sad about this and think it is because we don't get to spend a lot of time together I really wanted this date night.

This just brought on even more emotion about this stupid job he has. As the title states above I am greatful he has a job. I know this sounds selfish with all the people who don't have jobs and for all the folks that are struggling right now, but I can't help my feelings. I am so mad at this stupid job it makes my skin crawl. I just want to throw rocks at them. I am greatful he has a job. There are a lot worse things that could go on right now, I just wish he could find a job in Raleigh. I am hormonal and pissed.

So long story short...we aren't going to the game and now I am sad. This week sucks!!!