School Baby Shower

I am so blessed to work at such an amazing place! My team threw me and another teacher a baby shower!! It was so beautiful and so many people came!! I loved having all of our friends around celebrating Tilley and soon arrival!

Little brother is growing up!!

So last weekend I went to ECU to watch the little brother walk across the big stage!! It was so bittersweet because I am so proud of him but I am also so sad how much we have grown up and how our lives are moving forward!! I really love him so much and want everything for him, but keeping him young in my mind makes me feel that time isn't going by so fast!!! I also got to meet his Fiances parent which was so much fun! They are getting married in October so I really wanted to meet them. We had so much fun at dinner and loved chatting about the upcoming event!! Love you two so very much!!

Waiting the arrival of Tilley!!

Here are the pictures of his finished nursery!! Can't wait till he gets here!!

35 weeks and 4 years

So Monday I went into the doctor because I was feeling pressure and pain. I was 1 cm dialated, 60% effaced and he was in -1 stage which means his head was there. She could feel it!! I was excited to hear this but then she made it very clear I could stay this way for six weeks. So here we are waiting for Tilley to get here. I am so tired and I hurt. I hope this is the part of pregnancy that you forget about because I wouldn't want to get pregnant again if I remembered this. :) My abdomen hurts really bad and I feel him sitting down there and I really just want him here. It doesn't help that I can feel him move and know our little guy is right there. I want him to be healthy when he comes so I don't want him to come till he is ready but I want him here so bad. I go back Monday which is exciting! I hope that these contractions that I feel are helping me out some more.

Well today marks our four year annv.! I am so excited because I am married to a very amazing man. He is getting newborn pictures taken of Tilley for our annv. That is what I really wanted so he did good. His parents sent us to dinner on them so that was nice. We are going to our birthing class on Saturday so that is exciting. I really want to put the carseat in the car but it is still a little early. I think in about two weeks we will put it in there.

I hope to take pictures of the nursery this weekend and post them. We have everything ready except for the sweet boy to get here!

Weekend Happenings

Well this weekend we were so blessed! Friday at school my team gave us a beautiful shower. They invited the entire school and we were so blessed with so many great things. I couldn't belive how loved our little man is! Then Saturday my sweet aunt held a shower at our house for Matt's friends and all of my friends and family. It was so great to see everyone and we had a blast. We even had blue JELLO shots! (Not me of course!) Tilley was blessed again with so many great things. Once I get the pictures from everyone I will post them. My camera batteries were dead.

Well today we went to Babies R Us to buy the rest of the the things we needed for the T Man. It was so much fun but I was in a funk so I felt bad. It was hard spending that much money but we know our little man is worth the extra careful saving we will be doing the next few months. He is spoiled rotten!!

Next weekend we are going down to Concord to visit with family, attend a baby shower, 80th suprise bday party and then off to see my dad and Jenny. It is going to be a fun weekend.

So can I say that being pregnant has its ups and downs. Don't get me wrong I have wished for this for so long but there are moments where my hormones take over and I can't seem to get over it. He is getting so big and my right ribs are so sore. It hurts to sit because I have spider veins on my toosh and they hurt so bad. It is hard to sleep because he moves when he doesn't like the way I am laying and then when I find a good spot he gets excited and plays around. I want to be able to feel comfortable again. I love this little guy so much and would never wish he come early because I know he has to bake awhile but I can see how God makes this process the way he does because he wants us ready for this little life that we are bringing into the world! I am so ready to meet him. Now that he has everything in his room I am even more anxiouse to meet him!

Just a thought...

So I was sitting on the couch this morning working on interims and it hit me. I am counting down till the EOG. It dawned on me that when the third grade finishes their three days of the EOG, I will be a month away from meeting our little man. That is insane!! I started to get giddy and had chills down my arm. It is hard when I see a little baby to not be jealous because I want so badly to meet Tilley! Only a month and a half to go!

What do they expect?!!!

So we found out a few days ago that the state of NC has moved the EOG up a week. As teachers this is very frustrating because of the fact that we teach all the way up to the EOG. Then after the EOG since we were supposed to have the curriculum taught, we have nothing to really do.

The biggest headache of this move is that our children are not going to be as prepared as we would like for them to be. Yes, yes I know it was only a three day move but those three days are crucial for review and for our kids to "get their head in the game". It is just frustrating because it means we will have five weeks after the EOG to sit around and "find things to teach" since all our math and reading should have been taught before the EOG. You can't teach writing, science, and social studies for four hours a day.

I am being a tad but dramatic about this but I want my point to get across. What do we value more in this state, education and the true aspect of learning the curriculum or testing? Obviously the testing has won this time. I wish the value of learning was higher then the value of testing.

So as we sit here 19 days away from the EOG I am trying my best to prepare my children. We are practicing and practicing for the EOG. We are reading and re reading questions that they will see. We are talking about how to answer the questions. We are working on strategies to help us answer the questions. Is this learning....not really. Am I doing hands on inquiry based lesson....not really. Are my children tired of all this EOG talk...sure are. It is sad that education has come to this.

I just hope when Tilley and his children come around to third grade, there will be a better way then what we are doing now.

31 weeks and stuff....

Well I have nothing inparticular to say but there are a bunch of little things to update one.

Last Saturday I had my second shower which was super! We had a lot of people come and it was so nice to see people I haven't seen in years. We got many presents and Tilley is much loved. We couldn't wait to go home and set everything up.

We spend a week at Myrtle Beach with the family. This was a nice relaxing trip. The weather was a little chilly but it was nice to get away. We wen't to the Carter outlet and bought some cute outfits for when he gets bigger. Nothing we bought was under nine months because we already have SOOOOO many NB clothes.

Well my mom and I were talking the other day and she shared with me that her friend works for Britax. For the non baby people out there, this is a very nice carseat company. Matt and I had already decided on a carseat from Britax so we have saved all our giftcards till we had enough to go ahead and buy it. The carseat in the stores that we wanted was 330. Well mom told us that her friend can get the carseat for 100. I WAS SO EXCITED!! We called him to make sure he could get the one we wanted and he could. We have to return our seat this weekend that we bought and the one he is getting for us will come in soon!! I am so excited because this saves us 200 dollars!! What a blessing for us because we have many things still on our registry that we need to get which means the gift cards we have saved from this car seat can go to something else!

Well I have hit 31 weeks. Someone asked today am I getting sick of being pregnant and I said yes but I would say I am getting sick of it. I am just ready to meet him and have him to hold. Things are getting harder such as bending over, getting comfortable, sitting in chairs for long periods of time. The drive to the beach was so hard because I was in so much pain. He is getting bigger and bigger and I know he is getting tight in there which means that his movements are felt all over. I am also anxious to meet him. I want to hold him and I want to see his little face with his little personality!

Pray for us this week because we may have some exciting news come Friday!! I can't say anymore but just know that this is what we have been praying for, FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS!!!!

Well I am off to write in Tilley's journal that I have started. I have not been really good about writing in it but I really want him to have something from me when he gets older!

29 Weeks

Ok so I have been horrible updating each week or so but 29 weeks is such a OMG moment for me. I am one week away from 30 which means I am so close to having this sweet boy in my arms! The above picture is of me and my long time friend Laura. She is eighteen weeks pregnant but would have never thought we would be pregnant at the same time. She is due in September and she finds out April 17th what she is having!

29 weeks is such a long time from when this all started. Matt and I were talking in the car about the day we found out and all the things that have gone on since we found out. Tilly hopefully someday will know how much he is loved by his dad and I. I hope one day he can sit back and read some of the letters I have written and know way before he even got here he was loved by so many people. I am starting to get really excited about him getting here. The selfish part of me can't wait because even though he will love everyone that is around, I am the person he will need the most. I am the person that will be able to comfort him and give him what he needs when he needs it the most. I can't wait to see his face and find out who he looks more like.

We are going to have to wait awhile before the second one comes because of daycare, so I am trying to cherish every moment. I want to remember it all so that it will hold me till the second one. I am excited about having to wait a little because I couldn't imagine have two really close together. My mom said when she got pregnant with my brother she couldn't imagine loving another person as much as she loved me. When he was born she saw that she could but I think the same thing all the time. I don't want Tilly to be shorted any love because we decide to have a second one. It amazes me to see moms with more then one that are close in age because the love both their children the equally and are amazing moms. I hope I can handle one, and then we will think about a second one! :)

Baby Shower 1

So this past Saturday my sweet sweet friends Jodi and Courtney threw Tilly the best shower ever! We had so much fun, and it was great catching up with some old friends! Tilly got some many great things and it made it more real that he is coming in three months!

Our couches came in Saturday as well, and let me tell you they are GREAT!! My butt has never been happier! I really love to just sit and rock in them. I fell asleep in them last night which says a lot! I can't wait till the Tillyman gets here so I can rock him to sleep while sitting in them. Stella is not allowed on these couches so we are trying to train her to stay off. I feel bad since she doesn't understand why we used to let her and now we don't but I know it is the best for everyone. When he gets here I don't want her to think she can jump up and be around people while they are trying to hold him. So we will see how it goes!

Next Saturday is shower number 2. My SIL and MIL and her family are throwing Tilly a shower. I can't wait because I will get to see so many people that Ihaven't seen in years. Also it is at ten so we get to eat BREAKFAST food so I am really excited about that!! The best part though is after the shower we are getting in the car and driving the Myrtle Beach to spend a week on vacation. We are going with Matt's family so it will be a lot of fun. It won't be super hot, but I hope it will be sunny enough to lay out. I just want to relax and read a few books. We will probably go out to eat a lot and just relax! I really need this break!

Proud to Be NCAE

Well this year has been one for the books. I have learned a lot this school year but I have also had my days where I don't know what else to do. I have had to sit back and reflect on myself a ton this year! I really love teaching, this year had made me really think about how I do my job.

Well today I attened our annual NCAE convention. This organization is a passion of mine. As a teacher we fight each and every day to be treated as a professional. This organization is our voice as educators. Three years ago my AP at the time roped me into this amazing organization and I have been hooked since. What NCAE does is fight for teacher rights and gives teachers a voice. Of course you have to pay to be a member but it is worth every dime you pay. There are many teachers who aren't members and it stings to think about them. As our president says, "They ride on our hard working coat tails!!" It is true, because of our hard work and money we get some of the things we fight for, but the teachers who aren't members and who aren't there helping fight for these things get to reep the benifits as if they had.

Today was convention day which is always fun! You get to meet many cool people and you also get pumped about teaching. I really love my job but I have my days. This convention always gets my heart ready to enter the classroom and do all that I need to, to get these children ready! We get to go back tomorrow which is exciting! I love what I do and I am VERY PROUD TO BE NCAE!!!!

Nursery Finished!!

My dad and brother drew this mural on the wall based off of the bedding. I really wanted this done, so when it was finished I was so excited!! Enjoy the pictures. Make sure though when you come to the house you can't get to close. ;)

Tilly in 3D

Well Saturday we went out to a place in Cary that does 3D ultrasounds. I was so excited because at my doctors office the lady isn't really nice. This place we went to http://www.triangle4dbaby.com/facilities.html was amazing! They were so nice and made you feel very welcome! My dad, Jenny, James, and Kath came with Matt and I. It was so special. He was so funny on the screen. He would scowl his eyebrows. He would smile and take in breaths. He would not for the life of us move his arm down below his head. It was neat because the way he his laying is why I feel him so much. The lady also said that if I hadn't told her that I was 27 weeks 5 days she would have thought he was 30 weeks because of how chubby his face was. I then asked does that mean I will have a big baby or am I furhter along then I thought I was. She said most likely a big baby! :) I was tiny as a baby, but Matt was 10 pounds!! We might have to have a talk with the doctor ;). Well we were able to get the whole thing on a video for all the other family to get to see. He is head down which is good. The best part was when she was looking around at his head she said you see all that lumpiness on his head. Well it turns out our son is going to have a FULL head of hair. She said they don't really start growing hair until about 26 weeks and she said that our son has tons of hair already. She must have said it four times throughout the whole thing. I laughed so hard because I have been having this pain, not sure what it was...come to find out it was heartburn. So the old wives tale for us is true!! I am so excited to meet our little guy. She took over 60 pictures so I will only opload a few!

Shhh...

So I am like a little kid at Christmas! My dad and Jenny, my brother and his fiance are coming this weekend to visit. Matt and I stewed about what we could do with them. I was online two weeks ago and I found this 3D/4D place in Cary that does ultrasounds for recreational purposes. I ironically said to Matt, it would be so neat if dad and Jenny could go with us. Well...while I was looking at their site I found out they had SATURDAY hours!! My heart was so excited!! So we call for an appointment and they had one for this Saturday! I can't contain myself. So we decided to suprise them when they got here. We told them we had lunch reservations and they needed to be here by 12:00. I couldn't call them all week because I was worried I would spill the beans. I can't wait for them to get here. I am also so excited to finally see a good picture of the little man growing inside me. Our last ultrasound was great because we found out if it was a boy or girl but the woman was so mean and cold. She didn't even try and get any good shots of his face or body. She just wasn't nice at all. This will be the first time to really get a good look at our little boy! I also want to see what position he is in and how big he is! I will def. post pictures on Sunday! I PROMISE!!

Low Iron, Stretch Marks, Braxton Hicks, and Couches

Well I had my week 26 doctors appointment Friday. They did the glucose test which I will hear about Monday or Tuesday. They also checked my iron and I was low. She said that is why I have probably felt really tired lately. Which was so true!! I thought it was because of all the work we have been doing around the house. So I taking iron pills to try and get my iron up. She also said to eat more meat. It is hard when matt is gone all week I don't eat the best dinners. Weight gain was good. Heartbeat was at 150 which is what it has been the entire time. I go back in two weeks for my RH shot. Then I go back every two weeks till he gets here! THAT IS INSANE!! I go ever two weeks, as my friend Laura said....im not ready!! We have so much to do and the house is a mess!!

Well I found my first two stretch marks. They are right above my hip bone on each side. I had one on each side already from highschool and I grew to quickly. Those I could hide with a bathing suit. These I don't think I can. I have piled on the lotion this weekend. That is the one thing I really really don't want. I know it comes with being pregnant but I am going to do everything to help prevent them. I know there isn't really a cure but I am hoping I can minimize them.

Well the past three weeks I have started to feel braxton hicks contractions. They started soft but now that he is bigger they are getting harder and harder. Most of the time it is when I lay down on my back. Yesterday we were out most of the day and I felt them as I walked around. As much as it has made things uncomfortable, such going pee and having a BH contraction isn't fun, it is the neatest thing to think in a short few weeks our son will be here.

Matt is still waiting for a phone call on a job here in Raleigh. I pray each night that Gods plan for us is fullfilled. I know that he has a plan and we have to trust him. This past year and few months has shown me that I need to try harder to trust him. This job is another example of us trusting in him and knowing he knows best.

Well the past month we have been stewing on the idea of a glider in Tilly's nursery. WE were going to have to purchase one and they aren't cheap. The more I thought about it the more I thought that I wouldn't be in his room much by myself nursing him. I most likely would be in my room or downstairs. I know it might happen in his room but not enough to shell out that much money for a chair. Then after I was done nursing him, what would the chair be used for. Matt would never let it our living room so it would just sit in his room and eventually be sold. So we had the idea of getting a recliner for our living room that way we could use it after all the nursing but it would also serve the rocking purpose. The past few weeks we have sat in many recliners and haven't found anything we liked. Well in our outings we talked about the idea of getting a couch with a recliner. Now I know we have a couch already but anybody will tell you it isn't the most comfortable. I have to bring down my body pillow and another pillow to sit on it longer then five min. It has some stains on it that we have tried to get out. So while we were looking around we found a couch and love seat that had recliners built in and in the love seat you could rock while someone is reclined or just sitting. So yesterday we took the plung and bought the new couches. I am so excited!! My butt can't wait!! We are going to try and sell our couch on craigslist to make a little bit of money since we don't need it anymore. So enjoy the pictures!!We didn't get the individual recliner. Our room isn't big enough for that. We have four recliners so I think that will be enough.

Nursery part 1

So this past weekend Matt and I spen the entire weekend painting. We were so excited about getting this project done! We didn't think when we set out to paint stripes we would have to be all mathematical! I really wanted the stripes so we didn't give up but it didn't help our house isn't level. All in all things turned out great! I love the room!! I can't wait to get everything put together. Enojoy the pictures below.





Well I go tomorrow for my glucose test. I am hoping I pass but I haven't done a good job about not eating sweets this week. I can't stop eating fruit and the sugar in fruit isn't going to help much. I also have had way to much candy and soda this past week. If I pass I will be suprised. Jennifer says that those things don't really effect it...I hope not!!

Well I got in the mail today my shower invitation for my shower on the 4th. It amazes me how time flies and how much Tilly is growing. I can't wait till he gets here. I have a shower on the 28th and I can't wait to see all my girlfriends.

The picture below is me at 26 weeks. I feel like a blimp but I know it is all Tilly and his warm cozy home!

Holey Cow...6 Months

So as I was sitting at Nancy's table today it dawned on me...I am two weeks away from being 7 months pregnant. I am amazed at how time has flown by. Even though it seems so fast, I feel like I have been pregnant for a really long time. Tilly is growing so much in the past few days. Matt is amazed each weekend when he comes home how much my belly has enlarged. :) Tilly has also started to move around more consistently and it has been so fun to watch my belly move in waves. I can really feel him rolling and tumbling in there.

Being pregnant is one of those thoughts you think about your whole life. I would always wonder how it would feel? How would my body change? How does it know how to do all this? What is it like having a living thing move around on your insides? I am amazed each day with this little guy. I was always worried about not being maternal, but this past month it has really hit me. I can't wait to hold this little guy!

Life overall is going good. Matt and I are starting to prepare for the obvious and that is he will most likely be working in VA when Tilly gets here. We have started to talk with family about being able to stay up here and be with me for the first few months while Matt is gone. We have talked about setting up times where I will have someone with me so that I don't freak out. I am starting to worry about him being gone but I know that I can't prepare as much as I would like. Having him be gone is going to be hard but I know that right now for our family it is what we need.

Stella is going to start having a rude awaking. We are going to start to try and keep her off the couch because she doesn't know how to handle herself when she is on the couch. I am so worried when people come to visit us and Tilly she will be all over them. I don't want to have to worry about taking her out while someone is here trying to hold Tilly. Matt and I have talked a lot about a fence so hopefully come April we can get one installed. This will help out so much because we won't have to worry about her being in her pen and freaking out.

Well we have three showers planned for the next two months. I am really excited about them because I get to see all my dear friends who I haven't seen in forever! March 28th is the first one and that is will all my highschool/college friends. I can't wait to catch up and see everyone!! April 4th is my husbands side of the families shower. His aunts are throwing a shower for everyone on mine and his side of the family. The last one is the one at work that is on the 24th of April. I am excited about this one because Matt gets to come and meet some school friends he has only heard about. I can't wait to share the Tillyman with everyone!! Time is going by so fast.

The first week of April we are going to Mrytle Beach for spring break! I am excited because that means this is the last vacation before he gets here. I am worried about the four hour drive but other than that I am excited. It is with Matt's family so that is exciting! Hopefully we will go out on a date just Matt and I so we can have one last night out before he gets here!

This weekend I am hoping Matt will feel up to painting the nursery. We borrowed a peice of the bedding from a friend so we can get the exact colors. We are still unsure of what to do but hopefully we will figure it out before Saturday. I really really want my brother to draw a mural on the wall which I would paint it. There is a really cute monkey on the bedding and I would love for James to draw the mural right above the changing table. Something small so when he is older if he doesn't want it anymore, it would be a hassel to paint over.

Two weekends from now my parents are coming to visit. I am so excited because they will get to see the nursery. We are going to suprise them with a visit to a place that does 3D/4D ultrasounds. We are going to say we are going to lunch but show up at this place http://www.triangle4dbaby.com/facilities.html. I can't wait, my dad is going to be so excited!! I hope they are just as excited as we are about seeing Tilly on the ultrasound. They say by then he will have some baby fat so he will look the most like he will when he is born.

Holey cow that was a lot of writing. I will post pictures of the nursery this weekend if we end up painting!!

Going great!!

Well this week has been a great week! We got rid of the camaro which is a blessing. Tilly could not ride in the camaro because it doesn't fit a carseat so we had to get rid of it some point. We bought Matt a Civic which was really pretty and he was happy with it. Mark my words, this car will be Tilly's first car. It will live that long and our son will be able to drive it. :)

I am feeling really well this week. I guess it has to do with that my husband was in town most of this week and I will be going "home" for a spa weekend with my step mom. I can't wait!! It is much needed and I am so excited to spend the time with her. Tillyman will love it because he loves it when his mommy is happy. :)

I had a great weeked with two of my oldest and dearest friends. They came up and spent the night. We found a babyshower dress and some other cute clothes. We spent time laughing and having fun! It was so nice to see them and I can't wait till the end of March to see them again at the shower they are throwing.

Well I only gained 8 pounds total from the start of this pregnancy. I was worried I had gained a lot more but from what I read it should start packing on in the next few weeks. I just hope I don't get carried away with the eating.

Feeling Good!!

Well after a week like last week I was ready for a good week. This week has been ten times better. It is amazing how things are so different when you feel good and your kiddos are behaving. This week has gone well but I am worried about tomorrow.

I go tomorrow for another checkup and up until this point I haven't really gained any weight. Well the last four weeks I haven't really been all that good about eating healthy. I really have been craving nothing but salt and fried food. Well this morning the scale said 150. Which means I would have gained 8 pounds in four weeks which means I gained 2 pounds each week. I KNOW!! That is insane. I am really worried he is going to say something to me. I know I should stop eating but now I am eating even when I am not hungry. I need to watch it because I was doing so well and now I let myself go. I am going to try and workout and keep things moving so I can stay healthy.

I am really excited about my appointment though because I am going to ask him about my ears and headaches. My ears feel like they are filled to the brim with fluid. I can't seem to get them to pop. My headaches are getting bad and I hate taking medicine because I don't want to hurt Tilly. I know I can take it but I don't like it!! So hopefully he will have some answers for me.

Well Monday starts my countdown for my pregnancy massage that my daddy bought me. I can't wait till Saturday because I get a pedicure and manicure and a massage!! This will be one of the best weekends!! Much needed that is for sure!!

Well we have two of the three showers planned. My husbands side of the family is going to be April 4th. My girlfriends are throwing one on March 28th which is exciting because it will be all my friends from college and highschool. Some I haven't seen in years! I can't wait. The third one we are still trying to find a date that works!! I am so lucky to have such amazing friends and family. The Tillyman is so lucky to have so many people love him!!

Well I am off to bed to watch Grey's and get some sleep!!

Super Duper Weekend!

So this week has been a week from hell. Probably the hardest week pregnancy and school wise. With Matt gone all week I was having my own little pity party each night. It was really hard on him because he couldn't do anything to help me.

Well this weekend has been great! Saturday I slept all day!! I am seriouse. I woke up at 7:30 because of the body pillow Melanie lent me!! Which worked like a champ. Tillyman loved being able to be propped up and not have me move around all night. After waking up I ate breakfast and then watched TV all morning. At 12:00 I went back to bed and slept till three. Matt came home from his haircut I took a shower and we headed to the grocery store. After returning from the store I put my pj's back on and then went back to bed. I fell asleep at 6 and didn't wake again till 6 in the morning. It was so nice. I really needed that.

Today was great!! I was so pretty outide and I got so much done. I cleaned the house a little, put away the four baskets of clothes I had since two weeks ago, washed my car, went to the dog park and ate a sweet lunch with the husband. (He went and got bread, lettuce and tomatoe because I craved a BLT!!) He's the best!!

This was a much needed weekend because of the week I had. Being a teacher is hard, but when you really care about your kids and job it is even harder. I want so much for these kids to pass and be successful but I can only do so much.

This week will be hard as well because I have a crazy conference on Tuesday and rentention meeting on Wednesday! I know though after a great weekend I am coming in Monday with happy thoughts and love for these kiddos! Also this weather only helps a million times over!!

sad but grateful..

So as I sit here and type tears stream down my face. Kinda funny because why there are tears is a silly reason. I will try and explain. Each year the Hurricanes give Wake County tickets for teacher appreciation night. Each year I put our name in the pot and we have won the tickets. This year I was so excited because it means a free date night with my husband who I don't get to see often.

Well this week has been hell on wheels. Our job has so many hoops to jump through and with this growing belly of mine it gets harder each day. (get the analagy in there..:)) So when we won the tickets Monday it was a light in the day. Well today I called Matt and he was so excited about the game. We were talking about who would be there and how our two tickets were right beside Nancy and Andrew and how much fun this would be. Well as I sat eating my dinner greatful that tomorrow was wed. and that thursday was one day away...the news brought sad news.

The Canes would be in Canda for a three day game stretch! My brain started twitching and then it dawned on me...the tickets weren't for this thursday but for next thursday. To any anybody else this wouldn't be a big deal but for us it was. Matt can't come home next thursday because he is taking a class and wont be home till Saturday.

So as I sit there comtemplating a way around this my heart just began to melt. Hormones took over. I was so sad because I knew how excited was for this game. I knew how excited I was. This SUCKS!! I really am sad about this and think it is because we don't get to spend a lot of time together I really wanted this date night.

This just brought on even more emotion about this stupid job he has. As the title states above I am greatful he has a job. I know this sounds selfish with all the people who don't have jobs and for all the folks that are struggling right now, but I can't help my feelings. I am so mad at this stupid job it makes my skin crawl. I just want to throw rocks at them. I am greatful he has a job. There are a lot worse things that could go on right now, I just wish he could find a job in Raleigh. I am hormonal and pissed.

So long story short...we aren't going to the game and now I am sad. This week sucks!!!

Tillman "Tilly" Riddle

What an amazing day!!

Well it is Saturday morning and I am on cloud nine. Life is amazing! Yesterday was the day we found out who this little bean is inside me. We woke up early and our appointment was at 8:00am which made it easier since I wouldn't have to wait all day. Well As we were laying in bed at 5:00 talking, bean started to move around alot. Kicking and bouncing around, I told Matt to put his hand on my belly and within moments he felt bean kick. It was amazing!! I was so excited for him to finally be able to feel what I have been feeling. Then he felt it again! It was so cool for him to feel bean kick! That was the start of an amazing day!

We left and made it to our appointment early. Katie called and said she had a dream it was a boy. Matt was as giddy as I was. We couldn't belive today was the day! We went in and signed it. They called our name and took us back. I laid down and the lady put all the goo on my belly and began the ultrasound.

She measured the heart, head, spine, arm bones, and the femur. When she went the the femur bean looked like they were sitting on the camera so we saw it. I knew at that moment what it was. I looked at Matt and smiled. She continue to roll around and look at the bladder and kidneys. Finally said do you want to know! We said YES!! So she went back to that spot where bean was sitting and said it's a

BOY!!!!!!

Matt was so excited!! He couldn't stand it. He really really wanted a boy! I did to, but for Matt this is the dream! He was so excited! She tried to take some pictures of his arms and legs but he kept rolling around and she couldn't get one that wasn't blurry. After the ultrasound we met with the doctor and everything looked great. I have only gained 2 pounds which was good. I asked him if I was starving our little boy and he said no. That made me feel good!!

When we left the appointment we sat in the car and called everyone! It was so exciting!! Everyone was so happy and some even cried! It was the best day ever!! I went back to school and told my children and they were so excited and as was everyone else. I think I was supposed to be a mom to a little boy first! This was his plan for us all along!! I can't wait to meet this little boy in June!!

What a great day!!

Countdown begins!

Well today is Sunday. I am up early watching TV and petting the dog. Today marks day one of the countdown. On Friday at 8:00 a.m. We will go to our doctors appointment in which we will find out what baby bean is!! Thursday night I had a pregnancy meltdown. The third of many. I couldn't stop crying all night. Everything made me cry, but I had this feeling of sadness that wouldn't go away. I just couldn't stop crying, it was so odd. Well today I am having a happy day. This week will go by slowly I know, but Friday is going to be the best day ever. I am worried though that baby bean wont want to show us who he or she is. I will be devastated because of insurance you don't get another ultrasound till the very end. A friend from work found out she was having a girl on Thursday which was really exciting. Even though I have felt that this baby was a girl, I feel more strongly that we are having opposites because of how we look. Matt and I can't wait to meet this little person inside me.

The last few days this bean has become a jumping bean. It has moved around so much it makes me laugh out loud sometimes. At night I will lay on my back and you can feel it from the outside if it is hard enough. Matt is always asleep when I feel it so he hasn't felt it yea but it shouldn't be far off.I am def. getting bigger as time goes on. I haven't really gained any weight which is such an odd thing. My clothes don't fit but I haven't gained weight.

Well since the nursery has been put up we have let Stella in the room so she can get used to all the smells and things. Well it has been driving her crazy seeing all the stuffed animals everywhere. She has sat on the floor and whined because she wants to chew them so badly. Well the ones in the crib she knows she can't get to but the ones on top of the changing table she has tried many times. Well Friday night I heard a loud crash and bang and then Stella was running out of the room. When I went in, the clock, two books, picture frame were on the floor. Not sure how that happened but the worst part of all was the SCRATCH marks she left behind. I was so mad. I couldn't even talk I was so upset. Matt was running up the stairs as I was discovering the marks. I went back into our room and slammed the door...I needed a moment. Well the sweet sweet husband that he is, found every dark wood cover stuff we had it the house. For the next twenty minutes he doctored the top of the changing table up so you couldn't tell there were scratches unless you were up close. The next morning I went in and unless you are really up close you can't tell. He is the best!! Needless to say all the animals are in the closet and the door is closed to the room. We are looking at different gates to put up because we know there will be toys everywhere and we know she will want them. Joys of having a puppy dog! :)

Resolutions Stink!!

So I think from my title that resolutions stink!! I really don't see the point in them. In my 24 years of life I have never kept one stinkin one!! I know that it is all because of me....but they just don't seem to make sense to me. I always feel bad when I don't keep one or I let one fizzle out.

Well this year I am not making a resolution. I am making a "What can I do for Elizabeth?" list. I know that sounds a little selfish...but here is why I want a list like this. I want to list all the things that I feel I have let slip and things I have always wanted to do for myself and write them down. This list I see in my head all the time but never really execute. I want to do things this year that help me. Make me a better wife, (mother in June), Christian, friend, teacher, daughter, sister, steward of our money, and anything else that might roll along. This is a huge task since all those except the mother one cause I haven't gotten there yet I am really slacking it. I think I do all those half way. I want to find one or two things and really work on them. I don't just want this for me I want this for our baby. The hard part for me...if you know me you will nod your head....I do way to much...I spread myself to thin. This year my hope is that I will work on one or two things.

What I want to work on this year is becoming a better Christian. Now if you look back this is an ongoing battle. With the uprooting that was going to happen last year we let things fizzle out. This year I have a reason to get my butt into gear. I want our son or daughter to grow up in a church surrounded by people that can lead him or her through a life of Christianity. Raleigh I feel is a hard place to find a church because there are so many...and you can really only get a feel of a church on Sundays. I am going to make the effort this year, and my hope is that by the time this little one is born, we will have declared ourselves a member of a church. That isn't a lot of time but even if I am working towards that membership I will have felt successful! This also includes my relationship with God. This is a personal one that I struggle with all the time. My hope is as we grow in a church family, my relationship will grow stronger.

The second thing I want to work on this year is becoming a better wife to my husband. Now this one also includes becoming a better steward of our money. My husband writes the checks for the bills but we talk alot about our money. I want to help in the effort to save and be frugal with our money. From what I hear, little ones cost a alot :)! I want us to feel the normal stress of money not overly stressed because I spend way to much. I have come to terms with me not staying home with bean, but that means we will spend daycare money. I want to help Matt in saving and I want us to feel that we are making a difference with our money. In our history Matt and I have lived pretty comfortably. We def. enjoy being able to go out and have those luxuries in life. I know when the baby comes some of that will cut down but by me working, we still have a little rainy day fund. As far as being a better wife, I know comes from the previous paragraph. My relationship with God needs to be stronger so my relationship with Matt is stronger. There are a lot of things I need to work on with us. He is selfless...I am not....he is caring...I can be mean....he is loving....I forget his love language...he takes care of me...I take his care with no return. This could go on but as you can see I have a lot to work on.

The third thing I want to work on is becoming a better friend. I feel that in this areas I am ok. I could do better which is my hope. I have a friend who I think is the friend of all friends. She is my role model. She does things not because of what others think of her but because she genuinely enjoys doing those things for others. I need to work on that. I need to keep in touch with people, I need to call them and let them know I am thinking about them. I need to show my friendship more to people. We get so busy and that is what I blame it on but she does it.

These are my three self helps this year. I may add to this list if I start to do well with some of these, and I may work on some of these in 2010. I really hope in my heart that I can work on these. This is for nobody else but me. This is for my well being nobody elses. I want to help myself so I can be more confident in my daily life. If I fail, I am human but hope that this will continue on till I become successful!

Nursery part 2

So tonight Matt came home and called his friend David to come and carry the dressers upstairs. It was so exciting to open the box and get all the peices out!! The room looks half complete now. It will be complete in June of 2009!!! Today I went online and looked at baby bedding and found 17 different types of bedding that I loved. I found three others at pottery barn kids that I loved. I hope it will be easier when we find out January 16th whether it is a boy or girl (My intuition def. thinks it is a girl....people that see me think it is a girl because of how little weight I have gained and how I am more flat then round...) we shall see!! If it is a girl it will be easier to find bedding because Matt said I could pick anything I wanted. With a boy he gets 51 pecent say in what the bedding looks like. We made a bet! I am more of a colors patterns person and he is more of a theme person. There are some beddings that I really like that have a theme but I don't like anything to busy. I just hope we can agree. After we pick something out hopefully Aunt Katie and Uncle Chris will come up to help paint. We will def. be changing it if it is a girl. If it is a boy it will all depend on the bedding. I would like to paint over the blue since there are some spots that need touch up and we don't have anymore paint. :) Enjoy the pictures below!!

baby beans crib

We had a great Christmas!! My dad and step mom bought me a pregnancy massage which I can't wait to use!! If you look hard in the picture attached you can see baby bean making an appearance.

When we got home BabiesRUs called and said the furniture was in. We went and picked it up but since I can't lift really heavy things, we just brought the crib up since we can pull it out piece by piece. It looks so pretty in the room. I keep walking by the room and smiling!! The rest of the furniture is in the garage till we get one of Matt's friends to come help carry it up stairs. The room was already blue, it may stay or it may change we will find out January 16th!!

Shopping for baby bean!

So if anybody knows me, they know I love to shop!! Well this past weekend we made another trip to BabiesRUs to look at cribs. We haven't found one yet that we loved and both agreed on. So we went looking hoping for a sale since everybody and their mother were having sales this weekend.

We got there and sure enough they were. We walked around and found two sets that we loved. They were both different from each other and we loved them both for different reasons. One of them had alot of furniture and we felt it would be to much in the room the baby will be in.

The best part was they were having a sale that if you bought all the peices you got 20 percent off and then if we opened up a credit card we got another 10 percent. That made our day!! We saved about 500 dollars which made Matt VERY happy. He felt great about buying the crib this weekend since we save so much. Also we came home set up a budget and we set it up so we can pay each month and have it paid off by the time the baby gets here which makes our day!! I am working in ALP this year so that is what that money is going towards!! I told Matt that it will totally make it worth it for me to work in the afternoons if I know I a buying baby beans crib and furniture with it!!

We are saving everything else for family to buy!! :) We knew this would be our one purchase that we would have to make and the rest the grandparents can buy!!

Kick baby kick...

So today while having the best day ever with the best husband ever, I was sitting in the movies watching 7 Pounds. I having been sitting for the last few days hoping to feel bean move. I can feel my uterus on the outside but wanted to feel him her so bad. Today in the movie I swear it was bean kicking. I felt it twice in the same spot. It didn't feel like anything I had felt before. I know people say you may think gas is the baby but this didn't feel like gas. It is hard to explain what it felt like. I promise I think it was the baby. Then at dinner I felt it again right in the same spot. I am so excited because if it was this is what I have been waiting for!! We shall wait and see what happens. I will keep you updated on if it was baby bean!!!

Hair did!!

Today was a nice day of pampering!! I went finally and had someone professional do my hair!! For six years now I have been coloring my own hair and hoped things would turn out ok! Many time it did and others it did not. Now that I am going to be a momma I felt I should pamper myself. Today I went and got a wet on wet coloring job!! It looks so pretty. My haircut is still one that I wish would grow out and we are trying to get all the hair to be the same length!! I am so happy with the color.

Also today I walked past the mirror and had to walk back and look at the little buldge that is forming. I got giddy as I stood in front of the mirror!! I really can't wait for someone who doesn't know I am pregnant to ask me when I am due! I really can't wait!!

Well Christmas time is right around the corner. This year we have so much to thank our dear lord for! I really couldn't be happier. (well having my husband here monday through friday would be the best) We have everything and we are staying in Raleigh which makes me so happy!! I love everything about this place!! Pray Matt gets a job here soon!!! He applied for one and I hope he gets it!!!

12 and 13 weeks

Ok so I have been slack. I started to feel better and the whole world changed. I am started to eat better and I am not so tired. I think I am becoming a normal person again. We went to the doctor Friday and the heartbeat was 150. She said things sound great. The little bean is sitting on my right side and I think it is causing some pain in my right buttock. I guess this all comes with pregnancy. I also had to change my contacts because my eye balls have changed shape. It is really odd what happens to your body.

Well things on the moving front have officially ended. Friday marked the bittersweet year. We are not moving and Matt is really looking for a job here. He applied for one at Chapel Hill so keep your fingers crossed. I know he is really excited about it but his hopes have been let down alot. The job right now that he has is really stressing him out and he is getting sick with the all the crap. I feel so bad for him.

School is getting better. I am def. finding that me starting to feel better helps the kiddos feel better. We have five days till Christmas break and I can't wait!! I am going to sleep sleep sleep.

Other then that things are pretty boring around here...which I don't mind for once. People said things would change when you have a baby...I can already tell that Matt and I are starting to enjoy each other and spend time together because we know it wont last long that we are alone. I love this man more then anything and I don't know what I would do without him.

Put on your calenday January 16th.....that is when we find out if bean is Addison Marie or Tillman Cohen!!!!

11 Weeks

Well we have made it past the ten week mark!! WOO HOOO....even though I still don't feel pregnant. I am still having the funny food things but other then that I am ok. This weekend was hard because I didn't feel well. Started early Saturday morning. I was hungry but nothing seemed good. I slept all day. I woke up around 5 and was so sick. Couldn't make it go away. Fell back asleep and didn't wake up till 7. Ate a few chunks of ham and then went to bed for the night. I woke up this morning feeling sick again. I think my body is ready for a break. :) I can't wait to go home and see our family and celebrate my birthday! This year feels so different then the years past.

As far as pregnancy I am doing well. We ordered a fetal monitor for my birthday so I can hear the heartbeat. I wanted it until I can feel it move and so we are waiting for it to come in the mail. This is my birthday present so I am really excited. This weekend we are going home and I am hoping to get a little shopping done for clothes that I will be wearing soon! I can't wait to go home and see some old friends and go out to dinner with them. :) This is going to be the best Thanksgiving EVER!!