SO EXCITED!!!!!

Ok so today I found out that I am going to be teaching this summer!! That is GREAT news because that means I will make money and still have time off. I really needed this job because I didn't want to get some small job because I would have to work alot more. I was worried though because I didn't want to get upset if I didn't get a job because I know in Gods plan he knew how he was going to take care of us. For once in my life I thought about him and not me. I really thought that if he wanted me to teach then he will make it so.

Well the other great part is that I think I might teach the upcoming third graders I think. He said something about third graders but I don't know if he meant the upcoming third graders or the rising third graders going to fourth. I am so not sure. I REALLY want the upcoming third graders because that would sort of maybe mean that he wants me in third grade. I don't know. The person though in charge of the numbers said there wont be enough so maybe he meant the rising fourth graders. I don;t know. I really want to teach third grade next year and if I am teaching summer school for the rising third graders then maybe he would keep me there.

This is the hard part about teaching. I don't want him to think I am being stingy but I really want to teach third. being in fifht has shown me that it would be alot of fun but right now in my life I need to learn the ropes a little more and with the kids now at our school its hard. I really think it would be better next year so that is good, but I don't know. I hope he really thinks about what I wants and that I would fit there.

Well today they said our house will be done the end of august which is what I thought, but it makes me mad because I want the darn thing done. Means more money for us because that gives us a complete month of mroe money, and our first mortgage payment wont be due till september which is great. I just want out of the stupid small apartment. Its so cramped. They are also taking alot of money for us to live here those extra months. They ask for two hundred dollars more each month if you stay month to month. Ohwell. that is life I guess.

We are going to the beach in a few weeks which is GREAT!!! I can't wait!! I want to get out of RALEIGH SO BAD!!!!

Fifth grade..

Well I started my first fifth grade teaching assignment. So I knew it was going to be hard. There was NO doubt in my mind that I was going to be stressed out and worry about how well I was doing my job. The hardest part is one student. Which you may sit here and think only one. Yes, only one. I am a teacher and there is one student who rules this school, and he is in my class.

So I knew taking on this class he was in there. I was worried about how he would treat me, im not worried anymore. Him and I are buds. He treats me fine. Now with the other kids his horried. I mean down right MEAN. I think he is the biggest bully I know. I have never seen a child get so angry so quickly in my life.

So as a teacher my job is to teach and protect ALL my students. I am not able to fullfill that because of him. He just flies off the handle and I can't stop him. Hes like a tornado. He goes strong, dies down a little, then gets bigger. I mean I just have no control over him. The other students are TERRIFIED!!! They all put their heads down and walk on the other side of the hall because of him and HE KNOWS IT!!

So fridy was an amazing day, because he spent the day in the office, and then at the end of the day he was working with the janitor and got into a fight. I hope that he wont be there next week, but I am not sure with our school. You never know with them. THey want to get rid of him, but they are scared of him as well. I really can't imagine another kid like him. The excuse though, is thats him. They can't stop him. I really love my class and I have only been in there two days. Without him we get so much done. WE played games, and we had fun without it ending in a brawl. Teaching is a hard profession. As they get older they are already set in their ways and their parents let them be that way.

The way it looks though is next year, I will be a fifth grade teacher. Hopefully I will prove myself, but you never know. I realy wanted third grade but they are losing people in fifth grade. hopefully I wont be there, but if that is Gods plan then so be it. He has me there for a reason and I have to find tha treason. II just hope I make it these last two weeks.

ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!! WOW!!!

Well today is our 1 year annv.!!!!! I am so excited. Alot of people don't make it to this point!! I couldn't be happier. Well let me tell you about this weekend. First Matts sister and her fiance came up for chapel hill graduation but before they went we ate lunch and showed them the house. Now you have to understand that Matt and I talked about this weeks ago and since we bought the car we weren't going to do anything. He told me that this wasn't going to be like my bday where he says hes not doing anything but he does. So me being me thinks ok thats fine I got a car and a house that means everything to me so it doesn't matter. We can eat cake and talk about the wedding. So saturday rolls around and Katie and Chris leave to go to his sisters. Matt tells me I should go take a shower, which was weird since I had already taken one. He wouldn't tell me why. Finally he told me that we have dinner reservations that we have to meet. I was STOKED I mean I was so excited. So he drives and tells me it is somewhere inside the beltline. So he plays like he is going to get on the beltline and then swerves off and we end up at the melting pot!! I LOVE THIS PLACE!!! We eat dinner. Well he got me a card which was BEAUTIFUL!! Then he says he got me another one. I open it and it is a GC to the spa to get a massage. So now I am flabergasted because he went way over!! I mean we weren't going to do anything. The other cool thing was that at the MElting pot they take a picture of you and put it in a frame so that was nice. Then he pulls out another gift. I am still in shock with the first one and dinner I can't talk. Then I open it and I cry because I knew what it was from the box. It was a past present future necklace!!! I couldn't talk!! I have wanted one for so long and he got one for me. He put a picture in the box of our wedding day. HES SO AMAZING!!Then we came home and watched a movie and ate cake!!! I love him so much. While at dinner he went to the bathroom and I just sat there and prayed to our Lord thanking him for all that he has given me. Matt and I wouldn't be here today if it wasnt for our God!! I don't thank our Lord enough for the love he gives me and the man he has sent to take care of me and love me eternally. Life is so amazing!! Being married is what God had planned for me and I couldn't think of doing anything else. I love waking up beside him each morning and know when I fall asleep this man loves me with every part of his being.

going by fast..

Well time is going by so fast. I mean in one week we will have been married for one whole year. Most marrages don't last that long. I am so excited and I have never been happier. I mean we are doing so well. We bought a new car, we found a church, we talk about God, we are building our first home, we both have amazing jobs, and we are both VERY HAPPY!! Could things get better.

I love my job. In about a week I will take over a fifth grade classroom. I can't wait. I went in there yesterday and they asked me all kinds of questions. They wanted to know everything. I thought it was so cute. They really wanted to get to know me and they also wanted to know if I was strict. I can't wait to get in there, because finally I wont be on anyones time except mine. I will be able to make all the decisions. I can't WAIT!!

Katie is getting married in about five weeks. Time is going so fast. I remeber when she got engaged. This is so weird. I just can't imagine next year or when we have kids. Matt and I talked about that and I think we settled on 2007. So that means we will be in the house about a year, and then we will start trying. The only thing is that we have to get pregnant in the month of August or we can't keep trying till the next year because of my job. I have to have the baby right before summer starts since I have to still work. The other thing is finding someone to watch the baby while we work. So we will see!!

softball: not the game I thought it would be

Ok so here is the deal. I suck at softball. I really wanted to play with our church, and now I am having doubts. I wanted to play because we would meet people, get some exercise and have some fun. THese people are serious atheletes. I mean the balls makes a sound through the air when they throw it. Then there is little old me who can throw it four feet before it hits the ground. I really hate it because I want to play, but I am not having fun. I am getting upset because I drop it and I can't throw it, and when I bat, it's a joke. I really try though, I mean I try to run at get it but my perception is off. I hate it, I told matt tonight on our way home that I wanted to quit because I feel bad for all the other people. It is two fold, its dumb for us to waste our money when we wont get playing time, and I suck so when they do have to play us they lose. I feel bad, but the hardest part is like playing the game which is why I have trouble. I love playing an organized sport. If we were playing kickball I would be great. Or dodge ball. I love those games. I have alot of thinking to do tonight. I may just tell them tomorrow at church that I am going to let them have their game, and I will just come to some games and cheer on. They have two other guys coming tomorrow that are really good so that means we really wont have any playing time. Ohwell. I guess maybe I should start a dodge ball game or even four squares. I am really good a jump rope. :)

its hard sometimes

Ok so my little brother and I had a conversation the other night that has really kept me thinking. He doesn't belive in God. He thinks that religion brain washes people and he doesn't understand why people follow something so "blindly", expecially when the facts don't add up.

It was hard for me because I am not so savy when it comes to quoting the bible and giving all the information that a non beliver needs. I felt very inadequit because I was unable to have a fair talk with him since I am still so very fresh with learning and reading the bible. Matt told me to drop it but I felt in my heart that God wanted me to continue and he would provide the words. THat is something I pray about alot, is that GOd would give me the words to help James see. I hurt inside thinking that I an unable to give him all the proof he needs. I know that God doesn't expect me to but I feel that my purpose is to help lead James to Gods love, but he wont have anything to do with it.

I know that in the past I felt the same way as James. I had so many questions and I didn't understand why God did the things he did, but you know my life is so much more amazing then before. I know the reason and that is the live God has for me, and that I accepted him in my heart. I just wish I was able to show James. THe thing I did do what give James the examples that showed me that Gods love was real. I know that is what God wanted me to do because he was the one that gave me the words.

It was hard though, because the questions James was asking were legit. Like why aren't there dinasours in the bible? Or the bibles timing is WAY off comapred to how long the earth has been around. Or why does it seem that God is giving an altamatum, its my way or the highway to hell? I didn't have the answers but all I could do was tell him that Gods love has changed me and that my life is so diffrent now that I belive in him and that he loves me.

What is hard is to think that even though I belive and pray for James, and he never sees Gods love and really accepts Jesus Christ as his personal savior, I wont see him after this life. That just made my stomach turn. I mean it is hard because I see Gods love but I don't want to think that he would let that happen. That is the hardest part for me. I know that all that I can do is pray, find those answers that James is looking for and witness to him more. I also know that through time I will be able to read more and to have more proof that God is real and that he loves James.

Well on a lighter note, in a few weeks I will become a fifth grade teacher. I can't wait but I can wait. I am scared that I wont be a good teacher, and then I think that wont happen, because if I think that then it wil happen. I am sad though because I wont be with my children during the last few weeks. Today I had to young third graders tell me I was really pretty today. It made me feel so good. I really love teaching so much. I mean each day I wake up I am so happy to go to school and be there and see their faces. THey are getting on my nerves now, but that is ok because we only have a few more weeks.

Got the BEST annv. present EVER!!!

Ok so I have the BEST hubby ever!! He bought me a new car for our annv.!!! What more could a girl ask for!! Here are a few pics!!

Update..

So things are going really well. I mean it would be even better if we won the lottery but you know. The house is still a hole in the ground, but they told us the basement will take a long time. Hopefully it wont raing anymore this week and they can keep on working on it.

School is going great. They told me last week that I will be teaching fifth grade at the end of the year because a teacher is leaving for maturnity leave. I am really excited, nervouse and sad. I am sad cause I am going to miss the last few weeks with my third graders. I really love them so much. I am nervouse because I started to think of all the things that could go wrong. They are so much taller then me and they are really not wanting to be your friend. I have some of them in ALP and so that will make it easier. I really like the kids alot and I know candy goes a long way so that is my plan to have tons of candy and use it to my advantage. :) I am really excited though because this will be my first time with my own room. I mean its scary cause if I screw up I am in trouble. My only fear is that since I am taking over her room, I will take it over for next year because she wont be back. I wouldn't mine fifth grade, but I really like third.

Well time if going by so fast. We are about to have our one year annv. I mean how wierd is that. I can't belive it. I am so excited. We arent going to do anything since we have the house, but I wish we could. I know that its not about going somwhere or anything but it still would be special. WE brought our cake up to eat on our one year. I am can't wait to take a bite.I didn't get to eat alot on our wedding day. I actually didn't even eat any food. I took a plate with me to the holtel but we didn't eat it. We orderd room service later that night.

Well things are going great, that is an update on what is going on!

THEY STARTED!!!

Ok so matt and I just got back from our house and they actually started!! I am so excited!! In the pictures you see me standing where our basement room will be!! Life is so amazing!!

Ok so my bestest got married this past weekend. It was the prettiest wedding. I thought she looked amazing!! The food was GREAT!!! I had three glasses of wine and I was about to fall asleep. I think Matt and I were the first to leave cause I was so tired.

School is going great. We have 41 days till the EOGs and so the kids are getting nervous. I can't wait to see their scores because I want to know how well they did. I am so ready for summer though. I am worried I wont be able to find a job but I really need one. I would like to work somwhere brainless.

We are going to Charlotte for EAster to see the family. If anyone was nervous I fit so well into the bridesmaid dress. Just pray I don't gain any weight because I would not fit then. I really like the dress alot, Katie did a great job picking one out.

Two nights ago I wasn't able to sleep because I realized that my little brother was turning twenty. Its really hard for me to see him being twenty because not but a few months ago I was twenty and James and I aren't anywhere near each other in our life stages. I hope that he is doing well in school and that he really is making some changes. He seems to be with this really great girl. I hope that they make it as well. I am so proud of him for getting through allt hat he has and for making a great change!! He is really making his dad proud to!! I wish the best for him and hope that he will have a happy life!!

First spring break

Ok so I am home on my first teaching spring break. I love being a teacher. It is worth and the hardships because seeing those children smile makes your day. Tonight we get to go to a Hurricanes game. It is my first hockey game. I am so excited. We won these tickets from my school so I am even happier since it was free. So we went to the house place again yesterday. Matt had picked out somethings and I wanted to make sure I like them. I only changed two things. I am still in shock that we are building our first home. This is something that makes me think how lucky I am and how amazing God is. We wouldn't be here without him of course.

The next few months are going to be very busy. We have alot going on and alot of driving to do. We are going to have to really budget our money because of all the driving and gas. It is really hard since we have the SUV it EATS gas. I really wish I could get another car since this one eats gas. I really wish we could just go get one that is better with gas and Matt could have his car as well. It is really hard cause you want to have these things but you know its not easy. We def have alot but it would be the greatest site if I was able to hand matt a set of keys to his very own camaro. He gave up his camrao for us and I really would love to be able to give that back to him.

Well about two weeks ago they told me I def have a job at Millbrook. Not sure what grade yet but I def hope it is in third. The more I think about it though I wouldn't mind fourth or even fifth. I really like those ages and the kids are alot more versitile at that age. Though I did think that maybe I should go younger because that would make me a better teacher since I think it would be hard. I am not sure. I think when offered a grade I am going to have to have some soul searching time.

They called us this weekend and told us they are going to start building our house!! I am so excited I mean this is a dream come true. We go Monday afternoon for a walk around the lott to see what the builder will do.

What a weekend..

Ok so for starters I had my first breakdown at school. It was bad. I cried if front of 23 children. How embarrasing is that. I mean I couldn't stop. They way it went down was like this. So I have morning duty and that means I watch the fifth grade boys to make sure they don't push anyone and start a fight in the bathroom. So this friday morning I had duty, and one of the teachers was late. They asked if I could watch her class till she got there and I said sure, until it hit me I had duty. So now I was supposed to be in two places at one time, and now I am flustered I didnt know what to do. So in that last few min I was trying to find someone to watch my duty because I didnt want to call the office to ask them because then that would give away that this teacher was late and I didn't want her to get into trouble. So I didnt know what to do, well in the meanwhile another teacher had come up and told me I needed to watch this class and I had the wrong tone when I answered her and told her I wasnt sure if I could because I had duty. So she went and said something to this teacher when she got there. Well when I made it back from my duty she asked me what was going on. Now if you know me you know I HATE confrontaions. I mean absolutly can't stand them, I am such a people pleaser. So what was my first insticnt CRY!! Ok so now I am bawling. I mean can't stop. I don't know why. So we talked for a few more min about waht happened and then I went to the bathroom and continued to cry. I mean shoulders shuttering, snot running, and those huge puffy blood shot eyes. So then another teacher came in to ask what was going on so I explained. While the whole time I am talking all I can think about is what if I am pregnant. I mean that is why I am crying right, because NOTHING in my life would be making me cry right now. So I start to cry harder because what id I am. I mean there are NO other signs except that I was crying and I absolutly could not stop. Well I got in under control and sort of stopped it, but the moment that I stoped thinking about something I would start again. So we went on our field trip and then we got back and I left school the moment the day was over because I just wanted to come home and cry. I got home read a book and cried some more. I am fine now except I am embarrassed because I cried like a three year old. I hate myself sometimes. I really do, I am so weak at times and I can't control my emotions at all. That is true weakness.

Other then that things are ok. We went by the house sat and they have gravel and some bricks so it makes me think they may start something, but you never know they may be for the lott next to ours. I am so excited we go thursday to finally sign the paperwork on all the things we picked on.

School is going ok. I really want this summer school job!! everyone pray for me because it would be the most ideal job. That would give me the oppurtunity to have a month to get ready but it would also get me the money I eneded. Matt and I talked this weekend and we worked it out with my paychecks that I we would be able to have the two mortgage payements for the summer if we saved the rest of my paychecks the whole year. That really took a load off my mind since we wouldn't have to worry abou that.

Its so weird because never in my life have I ever looked forward to going to church. The last few weeks I look forward to the weekend for the main reason of church. I really can't wait to go. I love everyone that goes and I love the church. It really makes my heart fee great, which makes me kow that God is working inside me. I can feel it which is something I have never felt before. I listen to the sermons on Sundays and they touch me. They make me think about life and my relationship with God. How amazing is GOD!! I really thought people who talked about God and who showed people their faith were wierd people. I never wanted to be like that because they made me uncomfrotable because they showed me what I wanted to be and I thought I could never be like that. I mean it scared me because I wasn't like that. I was afraid to feel that because that isn't how you act I thought. Its so weird. Well I have alot of people on my side and the biggest of them all is God and we are taking our steps but I know him so much better now and my relationship with him is amazing!!

My head is so hard to be in...

Ok so here I am sitting on the couch in a funk. Today I just couldn't get my gears rolling. I know for starters that my weight isn't where I want it to be. Also I am tired and I want my own darn classroom. The reason is because those days where I feel low and don't really want to be at my fullest I can't take a break since I only see each class every six days and that means that when I am in your room I need to really be up because I got to get my lessons taught, I also don't want to look like a slacker which I would hate for people to think of me.

Well this weekend I thought alot about our future children and the school they would attend. A friend said to make sure and not get ahead of God which to be honest I had never thought about. I know that is sad, but till recently God wasn't the biggest thing in my life, which I know doesn't make me a good person, but I am learning. So I thought about her comment which was so true, but its hard because I feel I was crapped out of a good education because I didn't have alot of support at home. No one pushed me and I needed that cause I just gave up and I want my children to be pushed and be accomplished. I want them to know that I want to be part of their life. I am also going through the whole religion thing with my children. I want them to grow up with faith and their heart given to God. I want them to know him like I do now. I want them to be able to turn to him when their lives are low because they will be at times.

Like I said above I am in a funk. I hope and pray its not this new BC because I really dont know what I would do if I had to get off it. This weekend I started to feel the funk coming on and so I really am worried that it might be. This is very similar to the way I was when I was on bc before. Pray that its not and I am just feeling fat.

Well bad news, we had to spend the money we had planned for our one year annv on our stupid car. It had a master cylinder crack which meant that I was leaking break fluid and so we spent close to 4oo to fix it, which that would have gone to a weekend getaway with the hubby. I am sad because this was our first annv. We wont have another one, and I know its not about the vacation or whatever, it should be about us and how we have made it through this year that many people say is the hardest, but I feel like that weekend getaway would have rejuvinated us. I dont know what we are going to do now. It really sucks, but that is life and my dearest mother would say. We do thought get blessed with a summer vacation to the beach because of Matts work. They are taking us to Myrtle beach in June and paying for EVERYTHING even gas, since matt has to attend a confrence, so that will be nice.

Well the house hasn't been started. I know I know, they told us this would happen but it hard to not want this to get done. It is a catch 22 though because the longer it take to get done the more moeny we will have in savings. The other thing is that we will get through the summer that I wont be making any money in, and not have to make a payment.

We went to the design center and picked everything out and I am so excited!!! I got everything that I wanted and more. Even though we are spending a little more then we want its still better because its under the house and we wont have to lose our cash. We are still going to put hardwoods in the dining room and foyer. I almost dont want to tell anyone the details and wait till they walk through the front door. I am not good with keeping things in, which can be shown with my wedding dress...everyone saw it before I even wore it :) but I want everyone to come in and be shocked!!

What a thought....

Well last Sunday our pastor preached about whether you were ready to go to heaven or not. The sermon was called "Heaven can't wait..." I started to think about this all week which is why he had the sermon was to make people think. I just started to think about whether I was ready or not. I started to think about if I died tomorrow would I be ready. Then that starts to make me think that if I can't answer that with a convicted yes then am I really a Christian. I mean come on if you are Christian you should be able to say yes to that question without hesitation because you know that heaven is way better then here. The thing is that saying yes scares me. I mean there is so much I wan to do on earth which then makes me selfish because I don't want to go to heaven. Wow, this is scary to think about because I want to go to heaven and see God and be there but I also want to be here to do those things that I have always wanted to do. I am so scared because then that makes me think about not being a Christian. I mean if I don't want to go to heaven now then im not a Christian and not being a Christian means I am going to hell. Am I only a Christian because I want to go to heaven? I want to say no I am a Christian because I believe that God gave his only son to die for my sins and that he is in my heart. I start to think about all that I know and all the things that I have been taught. I would say that I have a relationship with God but what if I am wrong. What if the relationship that I have with God is not the type of relationship he wants with me. I pray and I started a prayer group that I am learning about the bible and learning about the relationship he wants with me but have I been saved? I don;t know. I don't know what that feels like. Like when someone asks do you love someone and how do you know? And you answer you just do, well how do you know if you have been saved? You accept God as your Lord and personal savior. What does that mean, I mean I could say yes I do, but do I really, or in my mind and I just saying that. This is so hard. I guess its supposed to because only God knows, and so he wants you to be able to truly be able to be a follower. So this week there has been alot of thoughts running through my mind, and I know that they only way to work through this is to give it to God and to let him guide me. I need to pray about this and I need to listen to his word and I need to read his word because I know that is the only way I am going to be able to work through this but I just wanted to let this out in case anyone else thought about this.

Wow its been awhile...

Well today as I sat here TRYING to plan map lessons I was told by a certain someone to update my blog so that is what I am going to do!! hehe the funny part is that I don't plan so really I just wanted a distraction so here I am. Well things have been going amazing. I honestly can't say I have a complaint. There are a few things that I am starting to wonder about but I think that comes with teaching. The first lesson that I am learning as a teacher is that there are other teachers that are not passionate abou their jobs. They leave ten min after the bell rings and they don't plan for their children. They don't take each individual child and look at their life and learning style and adapt their lessons. They just walk in and do what they need to do to get through the day and then leave. Its hard because I am the type of person that puts all of herself into something I do.

Well married life is amazing. I started this new bc which I am so excited about because I have had ZERO side effect which is great since I was so scared to go back on hormones. Also I can't wait till March 7th!!!! Hehehe beware before you ask why march 7th!! I warned you!!!

Our house hopefully will be started this next week. There is a big pile of dirt there so hopefully they are in the process of doing osmething. I can't wait to actually drive up and see a wooden frame or something there that we can call ours. The appartment people told us our rent for the two extra month we would have to stay will be around 850 which is OUTRAGUS so matt is going to talk to them or we are going to find one of those rent a week things that you pay 100 a week or something to say in or something cause 850 would KILL us.

Well Matt is letting me plan our one year annv. which is coming up soon so I am soo excited. I want to go to a bed and breakfast in Charelston SC, so if anyone knows of a good one let me know. I can't wait because I want a vacation so bad and I want a weekend to ourselves.

WE found a a church that we really like. It truely makes your weeks alot better when you know you have a relationshhip with God and he is on your side. I honestly know now why my life was hell before and that is because I didn't know God. He wasn't in my life and so without him I was in a living hell. I truely was lost, but now I know what it feels like to have God in my life. Its wierd because I sitll have so many questions and I am still so new at this but I see changes in my life everyday and the days that I don't pray or read my bible those are the days that are bad and I feel like BLAH.

Wow its has been awhile. Well time is fliing.My bestest Lisa is getting married in a month on MArch 8th!!! That is so wierd because I remember talking with her in block about how she just got engaged and how they didn't know what their plans for the wedding were and now they are finally there. I love just sitting back and watching life because its amazing how many things you miss when you don't take a second and sit back to watch.

MAtt and I have been talking about kids alot lately. He said that once we get the house we can start a year from October because that will plan it just right so I can have the summer off to be with the baby but start school in August. I want children so bad but I also want to be with Matt, but I have always thought about being pregnant around 22 23 so this is something I really want. I know matt does to but he thinks about it from the money stand point. :) We will see!!

Other than that life seems great!! Like I said before not much is happening and we are just haning in there. We hate the appartment because we are so cramped and we just want more space. We also want a yard or something to occupy us on the weekends because we are going out of our minds.

ANother thing I have been thinking about is our spring break is the last week in March which means I will have a week to myself and I was thinking about going to Charlotte for a few days of girl time. I want to spend time with Jodi, Lisa, Court, Laura, my mom , and my step mom. I want some time to me and to have those girl moments that I need so dearly. So I have to find a way to earn a few extra bucks because the gas will be outragous and I know Matt will say we can't afford to come home so I don't know what I am going to do because I REALLY want to go to CHarlotte and spend sometime with my ladies since its been FOREVER!!! Well with that said I am going to go finish planning a little more or at least start to plan!! :)

this will make you cry and smile!!

I thought this was really sweet!!
When I was quite young, my father had one of the first telephones in our neighborhood. I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall. The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to it. Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person. Her name was "Information Please" and there was nothing she did not know. Information Please could supply anyone's number and the correct time. My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day wh! ile my mother was visiting a neighbor. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy. I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to the landing. Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to my ear. "Information, please" I said into the mouthpiece just above my head. A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear. "Information." "I hurt my finger..." I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily enough now that I had an audience. "Isn't your mother home?" came the question. "Nobody's home but me," I blubbered. "Are you bleeding?" the voice asked. "No," I replied. "I hit my finger with! the hammer and it hurts." "Can you open the icebox?" she asked. I said I could. "Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger," said the voice. After that, I called "Information Please" for everything. I asked her for help with my geography, and she told me where Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math. She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts. Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called, Information Please," and told her the sad story. She listened, and then said things grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I asked her, "Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?" She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, "Wayne always remember that there are ! other worlds to sing in." Somehow I felt better. Another day I was on the telephone, "Information Please." "Information," said in the now familiar voice. "How do I spell fix?" I asked. All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest. When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston. I missed my friend very much. "Information Please" belonged in that old wooden box back home and I somehow never thought of trying the shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall. As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me. Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy. A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle. I had about a half-h! our or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was doing, I dialed my hometown Operator and said, "Information Please." Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well. "Information." I hadn't planned this, but I heard myself saying, "Could you please tell me how to spell fix?" There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, "I guess your finger must have healed by now." I laughed, "So it's really you," I said. "I wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me during that time?" "I wonder," she said, "if you know how much your call meant to me. I never had any children and I used to look forward to your calls." I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister. "Please do", she said. "Just ask for Sally." Three months later I was back in Seattle. A different voice answered, "Information." I asked for Sally. "Are you a friend?" she said. "Yes, a very old friend," I answered. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this," she said. "Sally had been working part-time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago." Before I could hang up she said, "Wait a minute, did you say your name was Wayne?" "Yes." I answered. "Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in case you called. Let me read it to you." The note said, "Tell him there are other worlds to sing in. He'll know what I mean." I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant. Never underestimate the impression you may make on others

should I or should I not...

Well I went to that interveiw today and I have mixed feelings. THe boss told me she was anal and that she wants things her way or the highway. I am a sales person so that means I have to see you the tanning beds. I work on commission so I don't know. I am not sure if I want the job. I mean she said mon, thurs, and friday I would work. Then every other weekend. RIght now I have this bible study that takes up my thursdays and I have two classes on tues and weds. I really want the extra cash but I don't know if I want it this bad.

Update!!

Well today I am feeling good. This week has been kinda wierd. My period ALWAYS messess with my head. I mean I am horrible on my period. School is going great. I love my job. I feel bad because all the other teachers have so much to do and I don't since I don't have classroom of my own. I can't wait to get my own room. I really want to stay in the third grade but I thought it would be nice to swing up with the third graders to fourth grades or even go into fifth grade!!

Tonight I am starting a new bible study that also focuses on healthful eating. I hope they like me. Is that so wierd that I want them to like me. I feel like a highschool kid but it does worry me. Ohwell....

Today I got a call back for a job at a tanning salon. I hope I get it because it seems like a job that wont take alot of thought and maybe I can tan for free!!! I really want this job because I want to have extra cash when I want to reward the students or go out to eat. I have free time after school so it will work out.

Well I have lost an inch and a half on my waist. I am worried now that I will have to alter the dress anyway because I lost the inch. The thing is I would rather alter the dress and keep losing the weight. I actually haven't lost any weight. I shouldn't say that I have lost one pound but the inches I have lost. Hopefully the weight will come off later but I don't know. I really like working out but there are some days I dont want to work out but I make myself and I feel great!!

new hair

here is my haircut...not much diffrent...it is shorter and has more layers, matt says it look like a mushroom..ohwell :)

ok here it is..

Well things are going really well lately. I have been doing really well with eating and exercising. I have worked out an hour everday for four weeks. There were two days I didn't work out but other then that I have done really well. I have totally seen the results. That love handle area is getting smaller and my arm muscles are showing. The only thing with this is that I really want to eat those foods that I used to eat. I babysat on friday night which was great but they ordered pizza. I ate so many peices I almost wanted to cry. I felt so bad because I have worked so hard lately. It is really sad to think that I wanted to cry about eating pizza.

Well school is going great!! I love my job. I am trying to get a part time job since I have so much free time. I mean I lay here on the weekends doing nothing and during the week my afternoons are all free. I applied at harris teeter which would be great. I could walk to work and be there and not have to think about what I am doing. I hope they call. If not I am going to apply to blockbuster and Kohls. I don't want to work at kohls because I WOULD NOT WANT TO HANG UP all those darn clothes the people throw on the floor when they have those huge sales. I don't even put my own darn clothes up. Ohwell.

Today is a new day..

Well last night I had a blast playing Bunco with the other teachers. It is a dice game which has tables and you play and then the loser team moves. It was so much fun. The only thing is that there was tons of few. I was so piggy last night. I really have done well. I lost the inch and then last night blew it. I really wanted to eat the food though so I had no reason to stop till today because I really feel bad. Ohwell today is a new day and I am going to workout harder today to make up for it. I did a Tae Bo tape and burned about 600 calories and now I am off to the treadmill to walk while watching Remember the titans!! Lifeis great!! Also my bestest Jodi is turing her life around. She is trying to lose weight and be healthier. She was diagnosed with Polyscistic something. It has effected her ovaries. I know if my heart that when she loses the weight she will be healthy. Her body was trying to tell her something. I can't wait to come to Charlotte a weekend and see her tiny!! I am sooooooo proud of her. I want the best for her and I know this will help her get there. She is an amazing person and I can't wait till the day that she smiles knowing that her life is the best that it can be!! Off to work out!!