So I do have to say that having a baby is NOTHING like the movies makes it out to be!I mean I knew that it was all fictional but even the reality TV shows that show births and things leave out so many things you don't get a good sense of how hard things can be.
The one thing I never thought about was breastfeeding. I would always see women do it and nothing seemed difficult about it. I have heard stories of women and know women who can't because of their milk supply, or something is wrong with their nipples and things but as far as women who are successfull they don't ever share how hard it can be.
My milk took a full five days to come in which was abnormal says the books. So I was worried I wasn't going to be able to. When it came in Tilley had a great latch and everything seemed great! I was getting the hang of things but it still seemed to disjointed.
Trying to get a schedule and learn his cues and be able to figure out if he was really hungry or just wanted to suck on a paci. Then when he was feeding trying to keep him awake enough to eat, or to make sure that he had a clean diaper before we started because he wouldn't eat if he was dirty. Making sure that I burped him in between or he wouldn't sleep afterwords.
The act of breastfeeding is easy and such an amazing gift a mother can give their child, but with everything else that goes on, it can be really hard. It is also a double edged sword because you are the soul person he relys on which is such an amazing feeling but also a feeling of overwhelment because you ARE the only person that can feed him.
These are the emotions that no one tells you before the baby comes. As a new mom I want what anyone else does for their child, the best, but that is such a daunting task. You read so much, you hear so much, you see so much, it can be so overwhelming to weed through it all and find what works best for you!
I know is 9 days I can't screw him up so bad that we can't return to a norm but I am still scared that if I make the wrong decision on something there is no turning back.
Didn't mean for this post to be so gloomy, but I sit here and watch him sleep in his swing and think about his future and what I want for him! Being a mom is so amazing but also so overwhelming at times!
1 comment:
I'm glad you are so candid:) For those of us who don't have children yet, you are providing a lot of information. Even though you feel like you weren't as informed as you wish, I'm glad you share all your stories so I can learn from them. I think every new mom probably finds it difficult to get into a routine, to learn your child's signs, etc. but your doing great. Don't put yourself down...it's only been 9 days. You're a great mother :)
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