Fatty Fatty

Ok so the past few month I have been noticing some changes. I have been slowly buying new clothes because the others don't fit anymore and I the scale seems to slowly get higher numbers. The last time I checked I was at 137 and that means I have gained 12 pounds in ONE YEAR!!! Ok so when you gain a pound here and a pound there you think in your head so what its fine. When the year is up and you weigh 12 pounds more you like where did it all come from. So the past few weeks I have been slowly becoming more and more depressed because I hate the way I look and my pants are to tight and I had to buy new underwear because the others wouldn't cover my butt! So needless to say matt and I have had some heated conversations because I want to do something about it but I can't. I have no where to work out and I have nothing to workout with. Before in the appartments I lived in there was always a nice gym. I could get motivated and just go on up and workout. Now if I get that motivation nothing! I can walk down the street or jog but my legs start to itch and my knees start to hurt and then I am done. So I am in need of workout equipment. We are vernturing offf today to find me something so this depression will go away. The problem we have is when will I work out! So I told matt if we buy something i PROMISE to work out at least four times a week. I want my skinny legs back. The other problem is that people don't see the weight because I can hide it and its all in my legs and butt. The people don't see the red creases my pants leave on my legs when I get undressed at night. People don't see the wedges I have because my underwear doesn't cover my butt. Those are all the hidden weight gains people don't see. So when I talk to people the get mad becaue they say shut up you don't need to work out. So that is why having a blog who doens't talk back is nice.

So the other thing I am changing is my diet. I am going to try to eat better meals and not snack as much. My diet coke addiction will dcrease, but I WILL NOT STOP! I can't stop and I don't want to stop. So the chips and the sweedish fish are out the DOOR!! So please leave some encouragement for me to get through this weigh gain freakout!!