Well this weekend was great!! I got to see all the inlaws and my cousin got MARRIED!!! It was a great day!! The sun was shining and we all had a blast!! I havent been to the beach in years so it was nice. We got to spend time with the family and we were all happy because it was a wedding how could you not be happy!! Well this weekend flew, but it got be thinking about Thanksgiving and how I am making my first turkey. I can't wait, I really feel like a house wife!! I also learned something new, my friend courtney showed me this site that I can get botox injections to stop my sweating in my armpits, so I cant wait to get insurance. Well also some other great news, my bestest just bought thier first home!! I cant wait to go see it. I mean it gets me also thinking about Matt and I's first home!! I cant wait for the day that we hold two keys that lead to a place where we arent renting. Matt and I did alot of talking and he said to me that the day we move into our home, we can start trying to conceive. That made me smile so big because I want children so bad. Its hard though because people talk all the time about how young I am and all this stuff but, you know everything I have done in my people have said the same things, your to young, dont wish your life away, because what you wish for, and you know nothing has happend unless I wanted it to, and I want children. I feel in my heart God wants me to have children. I am selfish in that way that children are part of my plan. Matt and I talked about things, like we wouldnt be able to travel or things like that, but you know those things dont seem as important when I think about having children. I cant wait!! I cant wait to tell Matt that he will be a father. Those are the moments in life I live for!! Its hard though not to be jelouse of the people that already have those things. Jelousy is a hard feeling to not get rid on. I mean if I could change anything about myself it would be that emotion. I honestly feel it serves no purpose but to make me upset. I sit here and compare my life to others and I cant stop. So when Matt and I are thinking about things or wanting things its hard to not think of the poeople that have those things already. This emotion is one that I feel will only go away when I am able to fully hand it to someone that has all the control. The only thing I wonder, is why other people dont have jelousy like me? I mean I honestly cant find someone that thinks the way I do about certain things, and how is it they dont get jelouse? Ohwell like I said it wont go away until I am able to let it go!!!
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