Only a few more days

Well today as I am am laying in bed I am thinking about the next few months and how I am starting something I have dreamt about my whole life. Since I was six I wanted to be a teacher. I used to tie my brother to a chair to make him my student. I would try to teach anybody anything that I knew. Teaching was in my blood. Now the day has come that I will walk into a school and they look at me as a teacher I am excited. Im not nervous about teaching but I am scared that I wont fit in, or the other teachers wont like me. That is what scares me beacuse I hate it when people dont like me. Starting tuesday I will be making a full time salary and I will be contributing to our house fund and I will be helping our family stay alive. I am so excited I can't stand it. Along with this excitment I am scared because I am worried that ten years from now I will look back and think that I never did anything spontaniouse (spelling and I am to lazy to go get my speller thing). I have always wanted to back pack in Europe, or join the peace corp. I have always wanted to go to AFrica and build a school or shelter or something to help out. I have always wanted to make a diffrence and sitting here in being a teacher and having a fmaily and a home isn;t making the diffrence that I want. I want all that I have and stil have those thing that I talked about. I want Matt to be by my side doing those things but we cant take him away from his work because that would be our income. Matt also talked about moving back to ASU and I get my masters while he gets a second bach. For awhile I thought HELL NO we have so much going for us right now. We are making good money and buying a house in five month why would we want to lose all that. Then I thought well this is the time to do something like that. This would be the only time in our life to do that. I am so confused. I want a house and a family but I am so scared that I will get all that and be upset because I got everything I wanted should I still want more? I am so confused..