11 Weeks

Well we have made it past the ten week mark!! WOO HOOO....even though I still don't feel pregnant. I am still having the funny food things but other then that I am ok. This weekend was hard because I didn't feel well. Started early Saturday morning. I was hungry but nothing seemed good. I slept all day. I woke up around 5 and was so sick. Couldn't make it go away. Fell back asleep and didn't wake up till 7. Ate a few chunks of ham and then went to bed for the night. I woke up this morning feeling sick again. I think my body is ready for a break. :) I can't wait to go home and see our family and celebrate my birthday! This year feels so different then the years past.

As far as pregnancy I am doing well. We ordered a fetal monitor for my birthday so I can hear the heartbeat. I wanted it until I can feel it move and so we are waiting for it to come in the mail. This is my birthday present so I am really excited. This weekend we are going home and I am hoping to get a little shopping done for clothes that I will be wearing soon! I can't wait to go home and see some old friends and go out to dinner with them. :) This is going to be the best Thanksgiving EVER!!

9 weeks

Well Monday marked nine weeks!! It is very exciting to think we are moving along. I am feeling better. Food still can be funny but most of all I feel great. Still really tired but that is ok. I can get over that.

It is so exciting to see how excited Matt is. I love having him call me and ask how the baby is. It really makes me smile. I love being pregnant!

Well in a few weeks I will turn 24. I am really excited because we will be home with the family and that is always great. I can't wait to eat more turkey and spend time with everyone. I think this is one of the first years I can remember that I don't want anything for my birthday. It is so true that your priorities change when baby is on its way. I really just want to save money because I wont lie I am scared. I am scared that this will be more then we expected and money is already tight. We are really trying to be frugal and save but that is hard. I just want a healthy baby and my husband which I have.

By the way I need to brag a little on Matt. He is an amazing husband before this pregnancy but it just seems like he is ten million times more. He loves me so much and he takes such good care of me. The man NEVER complains and always is asking if I need anything. He has gone out to get a food item that I can eat and always brings me more water. I love this man to the moon and back and I know I haven't been very nice lately and he hasn't said a word. I love him so dearly. He is always asking about the baby and when we had our scare of Thursday he flew home to be with me. I love him dearly and I hope he knows how much he means to me!!

a little scare....

So this week was the first of many scares in the life of bean. As a soon to be mom I know I will have my lifetime of worries but since I am so new at this I def. had a scared on Thursday.

I was getting ready to teach math and I went to the bathroom and there was a little blood. Now you see I have read EVERYWHERE that this is normal. I told myself that and when I went back to the room I told my TA and she told me to sit and I couldn't get up. I spent math in a chair by the overhead. After math the kids went home and I was getting ready to go home. I walked to Nancy's room to tell her that I was leaving and I melted down. She hugged me and told me to call the doctor. I did and they told me to come in. I was scared and sad because Matt wasn't going to be there. They called my back and wouldn't let Nancy come back which was worse because I didn't want to be alone if something happened. The u/s lady took forever. She moved the thing up, down, left, and right. I knew that she couldn't find anything. Then the last minute she turned the screen and said there is baby and that is the heartbeating. I cried. She turned the screen around and lights on and that was it. I was bummed because I wanted her to tell me more. I wanted to see more of our littl bean. She gave me two pictures and then that was that. I walked out hugged Nancy and things were ok.

I am so blessed that everything is ok. I am so blessed that our Bean has a heartbeat beating strong. I am sad though because I had this vision of our first ultrasound and that wasn't it. We went back Friday for our first real appointment and we were able to hear the heartbeat because of my sweet sweet doctor. :) I am so happy that things are ok and I am taking things easy. I am just not used to having to slow down and really think about someone else but me! :) I am home today laying in bed and taking it easy!!

Pictures to come soon once I figure out how to get them on the computer!!!

History books being written today!

Have you voted? I have. Today is the day inwhich history books will be rewritten. This is the day inwhich we are electing a president who years ago wasn't allowed to drink from the same water fountain or go to the same restroom as others. Today is the day that we as a country come out with one voice and show our love for this country. Today is the day that each American can come out and share their vote with a nation of Americans. Today is the day history was made.

8 weeks

Well this is the start of my eigth week. I am feeling ok. I am so hungry, but food is not making me want to eat. For example last night Matt ordered pizza and I started to eat and felt sick. Couldn't eat anything all night. Then this morning I was in the kitchen while he was getting the pizza out to heat up and when I looked in the box at the cold pizza I couldn't get enough of it COLD. I know it is so weird what our bodies need right now. I am trying to eat healthy but I really like the comfort fatty foods. I am trying to eat when I am hungry and not when I am not. So we shall see. This part sucks because I want good food but then I get it and don't want it.

Well Friday marks the first ultrasound. I am so SCARED. This week is bittersweet because I can't wait to meet this little bug inside me but I am so scared I am going to get there and there will be no heartbeat. I have been praying alot and that is also a sense of contention because I feel like I only call on him in need. I hate that part about me. I hate that I only rely on him when I am scared or need advice. This is the scariest moment in my life and I keep talking with him. I am worried that he looks at me and say "oh of course you talk to me now..." I know this is stupid and I know that it isn't true but I really feel bad. I want to be able to talk with him when I am not scared and I jsut don't. This friday I know that I am going to feel sick and I am going to cry alot either way. I know that the plan for this little bug inside me is already set out but I hate not knowing. I want this baby so bad. I want it to be healthy and to grow up being so loved that it sometimes doesn't know what to do with it all. I want this baby to know he or she has two parents who love each other and will be together forever. I want this baby to know that his or her mother and father loved them from the moment they found out. This is the part of pregnancy people don't talk about. I am so emotional and in love with this pea sive being. I am doing everything I can to keep it safe and protected. I am worried about what I eat and drink. I am worried about stretching and moving. I am worried about peeing and not peeing. This is the part that people don't tell you about. Friday I am praying will be the first time we meet our little baby! I can feel my body changing and it is amazing how your body knows how to do this!!

Well yesterday I found out that another teacher at my school is pregnant and due in June. There will be three of us going through this year pregnant! I can't wait to see all of us in a few months with our little bellies. :) (or big ones)


Saturday is also another day of excitement. We will be telling our family (or my family) that we are pregnant. We are going to Hickory to eat Thanksgiving dinner. I am so excited because we all haven't been together since our weddin which was four years ago. I can't wait to tell everyone!! I know they are all going to be sooo excited!! I will show you all their reactions when we get back!

This week is going to be a breeze because we have two teacher workdays, and then we have a performance on Friday. I can't wait till Friday!!

I haven't posted my about this election because I think that everyone is entitled to their own thoughts. I voted and I can't wait till Tuesday. The presidental election isn't the election I am worried about. I am worried about this state and the person we elect for Govenor. I voted for Bev and I am hoping that she wins. Pat McCrorey is running against her and if he wins being a teacher will get harder. He doesn't value teachers the way all the other govenors have. I hope she wins because if not I might have a career change.

First Doctors Appt. and morning sickness

Well Friday we went to our first appointment! It was exciting. We talked with a cordinator that talked about all the appointments to come and all the great things to look forward to. We were able to ask questions and then they took lots of blood. It was so exciting and real at the same time. Matt was so sweet at the appointment. He is going to be the best dad ever! The best part of the visit was we made our first ultrasound appointment for the 7th of November!!

Well this week marks the end of my 6th week and begining of the 7th which brought on some sickness. I shouldn't say it was morning sickness because I felt like crap all day. I didn't want to eat anything but I was starving. I really wanted all the things that smelled good and then the moment it hit my mouth I was so sick!! I hated that. Last night I was able to eat a little which was nice but today (sunday) I really haven't wanted anything but I know I needed to eat. This stinks because I have to go to work tomorrow and I am such a baby when it comes to being sick. I hate this being sick part, but I am not complaining because it lets me know everything is going on track like it should. I just hope I fell well enough this week to teach. I feel bad for my team because I know I am not being the happy go luck gal that I am. I know that they would prefer me to not be sick!! We shall see!!

6 Weeks

Well this week is my 6th and I feel great. I have had a few days where this pregnancy has kicked my butt but other then that I feel great!!The symptoms are still the same which I am glad about because I want to still feel pregnant but Monday I didn't feel anything and I was worried all day!! We go to the doctor in two days and I am so excited!! I can't wait to hear what they have to say. This visit will def. make it seem more real. Well today we also got wonderful news!! A team member just told us she is pregnant and she is due two days after me!! We are so excited!! I do have a morbib thought though...if something were to happen with baby whisenant...I think it will be REALLY hard to watch her be pregnant while I am not. Since this wasn't planned I don't know if we would want to try again. I just pray things are ticking away inside and the little bug is growing. It is so hard to not know.

Well I joined this website Babycenter.com and I am addicted. I have been on that thing for hours. I love hearing other ladies talk about their pregnancies. It is sad though because some woman have lost their babies and I just hope things are going ok inside my little oven. I know there isn't anything I can do to know but I just pray that things are going ok!! I have had no spotting like some women and as the weeks tick away the odds go down!! I can't wait to hit 12 weeks!!

Well this weekend we are going to a party and working the polls. I can't wait for this election is over because I want to know who wins!! Matt and I are trying to get Barack, Bev, Kay all voted so my job is stable and moving forward!! Today I had to work the phone bank and I felt like I was going to vomit. I hate hate hate calling people and this was horrible. I was blessed though because I spoke to only one person and she was really really nice!! I can't wait to see what happens on the fourth!!! PLEASE GO VOTE!!!

Feeling pretty good...

So this week ends my fifth week. So far I am feeling pretty good. Really really tired and my boobs still hurt but other then that I feel ok. Friday was long and I really wanted to go home and sleep. I left school early and came home and went to bed. Matt came home around nine and brought me KFC!! It hit the spot!! I was so excited!!

So far I think we are stil in shock. We go to the doctor Friday and I can't be more excited. I was upset because this visit isn't with a doctor. It is with a consultant and we wont have an ultra sound. I really wanted to hear the heartbeat so I know things are going ok. At this visit they will do blood work which will ease my mind a little I think. I can't wait for the day we hear the heart beat. They say we will have to wait for ten to twelve weeks before we can go again. I know that time will go by slowly. Please pray that everything is ok.

Well school is going well. I am really tired but it is going well.

5 Weeks

So this week is my fifth. To many this seems really early to be shareing, but for the people that know me well....it couldn't be any other way. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I can't hide anything. This is the happiest thing that has ever happened to me there is no way I could keep it in. Matt and I are so excited and can't belive that it happend! We are still stunned and can't belive how much we love this little peanut inside me.

I am very anxiouse though. I can not hide that either. This feeling of not know what is happening inside me scares me. I go to the doctor on the 24th and it isn't with a doctor but a cordinator. They will tell me all the things I can and can't do. ( I have read all that I can). I wanted them to do an ultra sound so I can stop worring but they wont. I have to wait another three to five weeks before they do one. I think that is CRAZY they wait so long.

Everyone says that there isn't I can do so I should stop worring but how do you do that. I can't....I want to know everything so I can get my mindset right.

Please pray for us and for this baby. I know there is a plan for this child already but I want my anxiouse mind to be put at ease.

I am going to be a......

for halloween!!

What are you doing in June?

I hope nothing!! ;)

Don't Vote!!!

Two Days Off....sort of

Well today and tomorrow I am at a workshop which means I am not at school. I am excited because this workshop is great but I am scared because I hate having to be out of school. The sub is ok and I hope my kids are to!!

I am so hungry....I have been all day!!! I can't stop stuffing my face!! Please make it stop.....

Nights in Rodanthe

Ok so Matt and I just got back from this movie and I am a ball of emotions. I can't stop thinking about this movie or crying. While watching this movie all I could think about was losing Matt. How morbid I know. I just kept thinking about life without him. Thinking about what I would do. Matt and I don't see each other Tuesday and Wednesday of the week. He is in VA and I am here. I am sad and I miss him so much when he isn't here. While watching this movie I started to think about all the wives out there that have lost thier husband, or their husband is serving our country and they stationed somewhere over seas, or a husband that leaves the entire week. I can't imagine living their life. This movie def. hit a chord in which made me think about how I take our life for granted. I complain, bitch, cry, blame and do everything else I shouldn't. I do it because I think our life stinks with this whole move....but it could be worse. I could be alone forever. Matt could be gone forever. We live an amazing life. We have an amazing family, house, life, friends, jobs and everything else. We are lucky. I say I know this but do I really. Do I really know how lucky we are? People always say you don't know what you have till you lose it. I don't want to lose something to be greatful for it. Can you be greatful for your life if you don't lose someone or something important? I need to do a better job of letting person who obviously gave me this life know I am greatful for what we have. I need to show him that I don't take it all for granted....but I don't want to lie. I want to truely be greatful. How do you show that? How to show him that you are greatful for you husband, friends, family, life? I guess the answer is in prayer, devotion and constant reminders that we don't do this, he does! Those words are easy to type but I don't do them daily or even weekly. This is a part of my life that I need to work on. I say it alot and I do work on it. Slowly but surely. I think about my life and how I prject myself on others. I don't ever want people to think that I am fake or ungreatful. I want the people closest to me to know that they are amazing people and I am so greatful for their friendship and love. I want my family to know that without them this life would not be possible. I want my amazing husband to know that I love him from a place where there is no end. We live our life to hecticly and we are sometimes in passing, but I love you so dearly. You are my everything in this world and this world would be nothing without you. You make this world doable. I am so greatful for your friendship, love, compassion, support and most of all for the man you have become and the man you are!

Ok....so all this came from a movie....you should def. go see it!

Still Working Out!!!

So it has been 11 weeks of working out. I am so excited. I am trying really hard to keep this weight off. I am at 138 right now and I want to keep going. It is really hard though because I love love food. I am adicted to the gym though. I am really seeing the difference in my arms and abs. So lets keep it up.

I hate LM!!

Ok so you know our situation around here. Life is crazy. We are in the middle of things right now. Trying to get this house sold and move to VA. Well my hubby is traveling between here and VA. Monday through Thursday. Well today he called me to say that he had to stay. I was so upset because I really miss him. I miss seeing him, kissing him, hugging him, talking with him, smelling him, laugh with him, being with him. I miss him more then I think until he says he isn't coming home and then I really really miss him. This is hard on us but I know it is what our family needs. This is hard because we don't get to be together like a married couple. You so take for granted the moments you have with your spouse. I know I did. Weekends are so different then during the week. I miss him so much.


Well the sickness seems to have passed. I feel better. This mornign I woke up feeling like crap. I really didn't want to go to the gym but I did. I felt better after working out. Let's see if it stays away.

feeling like poo

So this week I haven't felt well at all. It hits right after school is over and I feel very sea sick. I hate being sick. I really am a baby and and since Matt isn't here I am more of a baby. Lately this sickness has hit at the end of the day and I am so tired I don't want to do anything. I really can't wait for our family trip in November. I am ready for something to be excited about.

School is going great! I have a student intern coming into my classroom on Tuesdays which makes me really excited. Having another person in the room always helps. She seems really sweet and eager to learn. I love teaching and helping so I am really excited about this.

Friday a movie comes out that I am really excited about. Nights in Rodenth is going to be such a great movie. Matt said we get to go this weekend and I am really really excited. I will let you know how that goes.

Well I am off to bed since I feel like poo again. Hope this passes.

So excited...I can't hide it!!

Ok so I just got a phone call from my aunt! This is a phone call that made my day!! She was calling to let me know that on November 8th the entire family will be getting together for a Thanksgiving Dinner!! I am so darn excited I can't contain myself. Now as many of you know my family is like many others. We are lets say a little disfunctional. We don't see each other alot and there tends to be alot of drama. We haven't all been together except for when Matt and I got married. We try to get together but it all falls apart!! We should try harder but I am so excited!!

She told me that my uncle Les and Uncle Brian and Aunt Lisa from Chicago are coming in as well!! That made it even more exciting!! I can't wait to see them all and I can't wait to catch up on all the cool things that are happening. This is what my famliy needs!! My brother might even come!! I love this season and this holiday! I love being close with my family and it makes me sad that we can't be closer.

So pray that everyone will be able to come and pray that we have a wonderful time and everyone is on their best behavior!!!

Count Down till November 8th: 48 days!!!

Fall!!!

So this weekend marks the weekend that fall rolls in!! I love this weather. I want to create a place where this weather stays forever!! I love being able to wear pants with a shirt and still feel cool. I love the way it smells when going outside. I love the gitty feeling you get when your walking outside.

I hate the cold and flue that comes with this weather. I am fighting it right now and I know it was my fault. I told a friend that I never get sick.....sure enough here it came!! FULL FORCE!!

Well things are still the same. Except we found out Friday that as of December 10th if the house doesn't sell then the company can't move us. Well they can but then it would become taxable income and that is 20,000 dollars that would be added to our income to be taxed which means that we would have to pay in an ass load of money...so needless to say I am upset. This is the reason I wanted to move...they were going to move us!!! Perfessional movers!! Oh please dear lord help us....evertime we turn around it is somethign else that gets taken away!!

I really and frusterated with life right now. I am in love with my kids this year but I am so stressed and frusterated with this move and the future I really can't enjoy what is going on. I want a hint or something to know what will happen to us in a few months. I don't know what to do.....Matt and I are fine but it is hard and gets harder each month!! This whole thing SUCKS!!! I don't know what will happen and if the house doesn't sell then we are back where we started. I just want him to get another job and stay here! Why is that so darn hard....why can't he get another job here? It makes me sick to my stomach to think about the next few months. I hate this feeling. Why can't we just move already or stay already. They took away his gas mileage, they took away his fridays, they took away the moving. What else can we take? I hate this so much......

Nothing else is going on. I am so ready for Christmas time because we get to go see the family. I remember being 16 and I would always wish for another year to pass by because I wanted to see what was next and what was going to happen. When I got married I was so excited and content with us in the now I hadn't had one of those thoughts till now. I wish now it would be a year from now so we can see what happens. I really hate wishing time away, but I am not sure what is harder....sitting her wondering or missing a year. I really wish I was more of a prayer warrior because I know that is why I am not at peace. My friend Stephanie was my biggest prayer warrior in colleg. She was always praying and I felt it. She was there for me and could always talk to her and tell her things that I couldn't tell other people. I haven't seen her in years and I miss her dearly. It is odd to look back only a few years and see where you are and who is with you. I really do miss her dearly.

Well I am off to take some medicine and go to bed. I have been in bed all day and I am planning on staying here till tomorrow!!

life is the same....

So this weekend was so much fun! We spent a birthday weekend with our sister and brother in law and their new puppy Scout. Stella loves her little puppy cousin!! We spent time hanging out and going out to eat!

Well things are the same on the home front. We are still in limbo land. We have no idea what is going to happen. We want to move on with this thing but it all sits on this house. Please pray this house will sell. We dropped the price this weekend and maybe just maybe it will sell.

School is great! This year has started off amazing! I love having these children and I love my team. This year is going to be great! We have alot of work to do, but my kiddos are great!! We will have a great year!!

Well life is good and we hope that the next few months will show us the future!